advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

He’s in the wrong. Report it to the school.

I was groomed and abused by a teacher at school. None of us thought he was creepy. We thought he was our best mate, the only person who understood us, and at least two of us said we were in love with him. He was later convicted of abusing both of us

Well exactly. I'm sorry to hear this 😔

I was groomed and abused by a teacher at school. None of us thought he was creepy. We thought he was our best mate, the only person who understood us, and at least two of us said we were in love with him. He was later convicted of abusing both of us.

Separately, we had a female PE teacher who ‘everyone knew’ was a lesbian. We girls would all talk about how we felt uncomfortable with her being in and around the changing rooms and tried to ensure we didn’t get too close to her when playing sports like hockey. Much later I met her as an adult - with her husband of many years. Of course she wasn’t a lesbian, just a sporty woman with short hair who wore track suits and was good friends with the other female PE teacher. And if she had been gay, who cares? She never did a single thing wrong.

I’m the first to say listen to what children are telling you, and encourage them to pay attention to their creep radar. But I also strongly agree with those that say this sort of gossip about teachers is extremely common and can be very harmful.

fascinating how many posters seem to think teenage girls are the problem here when clearly the male teacher could have prevented this entire situation by keeping his SM private

The problem is you. You had no idea what was meant by the statement "makes them feel uncomfortable watching them doing PE"; you seemed puzzled and became aggressive when posters asked why you hadn't asked about this. The girl who asked you whether the social media isn't your daughter but you don't seem to have discussed any of this with that girl's parents.

I follow a few fitness accounts. They do tend to wear 'revealing' clothing as they are doing fitness, in the gym or pool

Even the op knows rightly he hasn’t posted anything inappropriate. He has followed fitness women. That’s not at all the same as posting inappropriately.

And as far as social media goes, as pp says, it’s advice not law. My friend is a teacher. She has SM.

He hasn't posted anything inappropriate!

And it's advice, not law. Plenty of teachers I know are on Facebook

I’m a teacher.

All my social media accounts are locked as tight as can be. Union and school advice.

In our staff handbook, you are liable for anything inappropriate posted on social media, and staff have been disciplined for this.

If the gut is a teacher and is posting these images in an open account, then he is in serious trouble. It needs reporting to the school, irrespective of how the children feel about the teacher.

Creepy doesn't always mean just sexual

Sometimes there are people you can not quite out your finger on why they have that "vibe" about them.

Even ones you like.

(And I now expect even more of a drip feed from the op)

Mn is weird. There will be hundreds of people who will tell you that you feel this way based on him being a man and that's unfair. But those same people will have such a low bar for the behaviour and bang on about false accusations.

I haven’t banged on about false accusations. I don’t have a low bar for bad behaviour towards girls and women.

But this man has done nothing, bar having his followers on social media available to view.

The op is chatting crap and has projected her own issues and wishes on to this. The op and her daughter are pissed off that a man is teaching pe and has gone into the school to complain over next to nothing.

This man has done his job. Nothing more.

but we all knew teachers who have us the creeps...how often were those feelings wrong...

Are you suggesting that this teacher is a rapist? Or that teachers who gave us the creeps were rapists? Absolute bullshit.

To be frank, if a teacher wanted to groom a pupil he'd be their best friend and they'd think he was marvellous.

I wish things were as clear cut as many people think on here.
I wish kids always did tell the truth in these situations. But I know that's not always the case, because a situation arise when I was at school where an accusation about our French teacher was completely fabricated.

I don't know how it started really, but it became some sort of contagious thing. A few girls decided that when he looked at our work during lessons, he leaned over in some creepy way. They then tried to persuade the rest of us that he did. He didn't. But in that way that can happen with a bunch of girls, others started agreeing with these 'popular' girls.

I can remember sitting in a couple of lessons watching his every interaction to try to work out why they were saying this. And absolutely nothing untoward happened. Yet at the end of both lessons girls crowded around talking about how word he'd been. I said I'd never seen anything and of course I was ignored and told I was wrong. And I believe that they did tell someone in authority. But as a 'denier' obviously I was kept out of that loop.

I didn't get it. I knew they were making it up. But yet people were flocking you agree with them. This was a perfectly ordinary teacher. Not a favourite of mine, nor did I dislike him. Just a normal guy.
I don't know what happened to the guy. But nearly 50 years on, that still occasionally preys on my mind.

Its fascinating how many posters seem to think teenage girls are the problem here when clearly the male teacher could have prevented this entire situation by keeping his SM private

Mn is weird. There will be hundreds of people who will tell you that you feel this way based on him being a man and that's unfair. But those same people will have such a low bar for the behaviour and bang on about false accusations.

We all know that convictions for sexual assult/harassment etc are abysmal.

Remember the 14 year old girl who was raped twice, and everyone on social.media was asking why she was out that late when A) she was only out that late because you know someone took her and raped her and B) she was raped the second time getting away by the taxi driver.

The victim is always blamed . So all thse stories about upstanding men who's lives were ruined by false accusations and quit everything, well the statistics don't really add up do they.. men walk out of court free after raping women based on underwear she was wearing he wouldn't have even known about until he'd raped her.

Girls are in class with their rapists ffs so to pretend girls are suddenly listened to and believed enough on order to have male teachers leaving the profession in droves doesn't really make sense.

Someone should read the school scandal thread , see all the teachers who married their students then say its all bull shit.

Yes all he had to do was lock his accounts. Any idiot knows that rightly or wrongly, you have to be careful what you post. Ajd keep account private.

People have lost their jobs over it.

The fact he's young and a man doesn't mean he's exempt or should be let off this breech.

Yes if there's nothing concrete or no actual facts then that's it, nothing you can do , but we all knew teachers who have us the creeps...how often were those feelings wrong...

You were right to tell the head about the SM. Hopefully he will take the advice.

So if this was weeks ago, has the teacher shut the account down or set it to private?

And if he has, what’s the issue?

Because in your op it was all about him making the girls feel uncomfortable. But the girls didn’t tell you this this came from a boy who isn’t a child. So did you or did t you raise that with the school because that’s the bigger issue? Have you told the parents of the children or the not child who told you?

What happens if the good female teacher is a lesbian??!?! Poor OP will implode.

Sounds like it’s been sorted then, OP. You told the HT and this happened several weeks ago. Is the Instagram account still up or something? Why is this still something that’s concerning you if the social media issue has been dealt with? Why are you talking about how the girls would do better with a good female teacher?

But he couldn’t. Because the actual issue according to you is that the girls feel uncomfortable. But you were only told that third hand.

You’re completely changing the story.

Its fascinating how many posters seem to think teenage girls are the problem here when clearly the male teacher could have prevented this entire situation by keeping his SM private

Yes, he should have.

The girls aren't the problem. The adults wading in and writing to the school are the problem.

I find that strange and the unwelcoming attitude to new posters.

And loads of people namechange regularly to stay anonymous. Sensible thing to do. Just because you personally don’t recognise someone doesn’t mean they’re a troll. And the fact that they disagree with you doesn’t mean they’re not legit or that they’re a man (although men are of course welcome to post on here too).

So this teacher can never go abroad on holiday and look at women on the beach?

@LolaSmiles

They lost me at the claim that anyone with a different view to them must be a man.

And tell your kids to stop stalking people on social media. Sounds like he follows body building accounts. Women in bikinis? So what?

Posters on here are the kind of people that, hundreds of years ago, insisted old women must be witches because they looked at them funny.