advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

The op did not say he was doing anything other than looking at the girls.

The male teacher can do whatever he likes in terms of appreciating grown women on his insta.

His mistake was not locking it down so the girls couldn’t see who he follows.

The op was wrong to lie and change her story here about what happened.

The op was also wrong to go to the school about only the insta of there was more to it.

The op was also wrong to talk to the children about it and not let their parents know.

Quite normal for a man to appreciate a women's body however it is seen by a bunch of shit stirrers.
They searched for him. That's creepy!

My fucking god.

Absolute batshit, this thread.

This is a TEACHER, a male teacher, teaching TEENAGE GIRLS. No, it is not OK to have a male teacher publicly, on social media, "appreciating women's bodies" when the (uncomfortable, impressionable) teenage girls he is teaching PE to can see it.

For the millionth time, Winter.

They are not 9 years old. They are Year 9, so 13 or 14.

They can be on social media from 13. Many are on earlier.

They also don't need to be "on" Instagram to be able to see people's accounts when the person hasn't set the account to private (because he's an idiot). The children can simply type in his name to Google and they will be able to see his social media accounts.

Why are 9 year old girls on Instagram anyway...

Year 9 girls are the worst year to teach.

I’ve taught year 9 girls before and they are the worst year for this kind of behaviour.

year 9 girls can be the most unfriendly in terms of being a new teacher, to me it sounds like they’ve got a vendetta against him and they are trying to use his gender against him.

Sounds to me the opposite. Sounds like normal teenage girls who actually fancy the young pe teacher.

I'm all for acting on instincts and think the gift of fear should be required reading for all women and girls but honestly this sounds like teen girl bitchiness to a new teacher/resistance to change

Teenage girls can be very bitchy and nasty if their behaviour is allowed to go unchecked. Teach your kid to not make nasty insinuations about people nor to join in when her friends do.

Probably more.

I don't think, although happy too be corrected, as it's a long thread. That anyone has said wow it sounds like he's up to no good for sure...

The instinctive attitudes about girls like ^ are very entrenched and lead to situations where harm is being done, being fobbed off. Or girls learn not to say anything. And definitely learn that it's not fair on men to listen to creep radar. And so stay in situations where they don't feel comfortable thinking. As per a lot of posts on here. He's not done anything wrong. It's not right to judge people. Etc etc

I don't understand, quite simply. The depth of feeling from some, about people they know nothing about. That the girls are, well. As quoted. Including lots of teachers it seems.

For all we know this guy is indeed very creepy. And the girls radar is not off.

So I would say to DD. Ok how you feel isn't going to do anything but thanks for telling me. Keep an eye on you friends and talk to me any time. Job done. No big excitement. No one sacked etc.

But the language used about the girls, who no one here knows. The certainty.

I know the general public feel like this but to see it on FWR is shit tbh.

I thought about this earlier and thought no.

But as it's been raised I'm going to have a quick search.

What are year 9 girls like? (13/14)

'the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE'

I dunno.

I'm not that invested in digging down into the op tbh. Maybe it's bollocks. Maybe it's not. Same as maybe man is creepy. Or not. Or the girls have got it in for him. Or not.

None of us know. Talking about unidentified people on social media will not impact on anyone in real life.

We all have our lens when we read, based on our experiences, viewpoints etc.

Through my lens. I see a lot of people who know about teaching saying locking down SM is a basic. And included in teacher training. From the start. Which I'm not surprised about. Children are often very interested in their teachers. I remember with lockdown my DD saying ooh with the Google classroom you find out their first names! I think it's probably quite a common thing hence the training.

Also of course because as a teacher you need to be trusted and kind of bland, private. Because you have a load of children who you are in contact with who come from all sorts of backgrounds and have all sorts of stuff going on and teachers do need to be neutral surely. Hence the general thing that teachers have said, locking down your social media is a basic obvious trained in thing.

Anyway. On this thread we have had posters saying well that's his business and the girls/ or whoever were in the wrong for looking. The word stalking was used.

People look others up all the time. On here I've learnt it often happens when getting near a job. My parents have done it. It's not my thing but it can hardly be rare.

Yet there are posters with the view that, rather than him adhering to what are apparently standard guidelines. Any children who googled him are out of line and stalky. And their parents should tell them that they're being out of line and not to do that.

So a teacher doesn't adhere to what is apparently standard practice. But that's ok, children should never Google teachers, that's wrong.

If I was a teacher I'd have my SM locked tight. It's in basic teacher training from the word go apparently. But actually anyone looking should be told they are in the wrong...

My answer to a boy who told me this would be I'd want a lot more information than the teacher was just watching his class.

And unlike the OP , if there was more to it I certainly would not be pursuing matters behind the backs of the parents of the other children.

out of interest

If some 13 year old boys said Mr X makes us feel uncomfortable the way he looks at us while we're doing PE, and we looked at his social media and it's full of young blokes doing weights in skimpy shorts, and also young blokes in not many clothes doing sexy poses and nothing to do with sport.

I assume the answer is the same? No problem. Imagining it. You don't like him because xyz. Stop stalking him on social media etc.

Genuinely interested. Is it the same answer for the boys?

There is a middle ground surely.

The mum talked about the social media I think? And head reminded the teacher to lock it.

The is he creepy or not. Who knows?

On one side though it seems to be. Well, not a lot to be done but thanks for telling and keep an eye. I mean clearly 'some of the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them' isn't something anyone will act on.

The comments about it from a LOT of posters on here are very much in line with society so I suppose not surprising but it's FWR so a bit depressing. I don't need to go back over all of the things that have been said about the motivations, honesty etc of girls who again, no one knows. And also a lot of stuff about how this (anonymous) man's career will be ruined etc etc.

I am a strong believer in girls (boys everyone) listening to their creep radar. A lot of people have said yes that's important but in this situation it somehow doesn't apply as the girls are certainly incorrect etc.

But the point is that if the first time a girl says to an adult, X makes me feel uncomfortable, or so and so did this and it seemed a bit odd, it whatever. And the adults (parents) etc respond whether overtly or subtly with. He's not done anything wrong. You shouldn't gossip like this. Poor chap he'd be mortified if he knew! And don't mention this again- there could be consequences. And I mean really what's going on- you all fancy him/ have taken against him haha. Forget it. Let's go and do something else.

This is how children learn to keep anything and everything to themselves.

And how they learn that it's important not to make any judgements about men they feel are creepy because it's not fair to do so.

After all the scandals with sex offences against children and in some cases adults where when they were brave enough to tell they were turned away.

The knee jerk of oh girls lie. Imagine stuff. Are manipulative awful etc. Is to my mind too strong. Have we learnt nothing?

There is a middle ground of well feeling uncomfortable isn't much to go on but thanks for telling me, keep an eye out for your friends and talk to me any time

And

Hmm. Girls this age are bitchy liars who set out to ruin men blah blah.

I know society feels this way. Year 9 is 13ish. The age of girls in Rotherham who the authorities saw as child prostitutes, or back a few years as 'groupies' and etc.

Yes children can be awful.

The way that girls are spoken about on this thread though is. Makes you see how it all works.

We are advised to keep sm private and to a minimum, why, because kida and arenta stalking staff and using what they find to bully, share with press or to try to get staff sacked. This awful media may be someone having a glass of wine, being drunk, doing pole exercise etc. All my media is locked, but i live in a small area so every so often have kids tell me their mums mates sister know me and they found old pics on a friends site 🙄
My experiences in school were between the ages of 12-15 male pe teachers under the age of 50 made everyone uncomfortable, i think everyone was said to be having an affair. They weren't but that was all girls talked about, oh and the younger ones (I went to a large secondary school) were all flirting or creepy. Most of it was all in the hormone filled heads of the girls, but could easily have cost a teacher their career. So this guy is an idiot to have unlocked social media, if it is def his. Maybe there is something creepy about him, you have informed the head but maybe it is gossip and hormones and imagination. Hopefully you have confidence in the school to look into it and ensure safeguarding is a priority.

“I don’t think they have been vilified. Just reality of a bunch of immature young students.

I taught Y9 girls and collectively they were the worst year. Nightmare mare”.

Yes, you sound like the excuse makers I heard for one of the most prolific paedo teachers this country has known.

Teachers have been sacked for their social media activity in the past.

As people with responsibility for young people, and with a view to role modeling, understanding that children and young people can and do look this up and taking into account that it's not a good idea to have your personal info in the hands of children/ young people, and around safeguarding and etc and so on...

Yes it does matter

Private companies have social media policies for their employees. Why this idea that teachers, who are in a position of trust and power to a massive range of children from various situations etc, should be less careful?

I really don't care if the PE teacher's SM is private or not, but the girls sound like they know they needed some proof before they could go to adults for feeling icky around him. They know people don't believe girls when they say a man makes them uncomfortable.

Why not take the girls' lived experience at face value and for god's sake take them seriously? Why should they have to search SM to get someone in charge to give a shit about them?!?

Lolol

Google
Friends
Yes?

I find it odd how so many people look up people they meet our know. My parents were telling me last year how they'd googled their neighbours to find out their jobs as they didn't understand how they had so much money.

I was

They said don't tell us you don't do that sort of thing! Erm. No. I'm not a nosy snob.

But yes it's totally normal to Google people. And if public their am stuff will all be right there.

Doesn't everyone know this?

Fact is enough teachers have said locking is standard advice and it's been in training for years for me at least to believe that is the norm.

Surely, you've heard of Google?

I'm surprised by the information in the thread. I'd assumed that EVERYONE kept their social media private.

No, most people have public profile. That’s the default when you set it up.

I'm surprised by the information in the thread. I'd assumed that EVERYONE kept their social media private.

I'm old and out of touch so only do Facebook, not Instagram, Snapchat etc. But I have my profile set to only be viewable by friends, and pretty much anyone I've ever tried to look up has been the same.

Given the number of stories you read of peoples' SM coming back to bite them in the arse years later, I can't imagine anything more careless than just opening it all up to the world. Whether you work with kids or not.

@Readandwalk - do you think it is a good idea for teachers to keep their social media private? I can't imagine why it wouldn't be - teachers need their privacy - surely it could be very difficult for the teacher if their pupils could see everything about their private lives.

I taught Y9 girls and collectively they were the worst year. Nightmare mare.

I’m female and have three Dds!

I doubt there are any local authority schools that don't. It's been standard for some time for LEAs to draft a policy that schools can use as is, or tweak to fit their circumstances. Interesting that Harris doesn't care to.

Probably harris invictus, explains everything!

Where have I been teaching. A GDST school. A Harris Academy school and a lcomprehensive. All reputable, probably taught some of your London based children.we were asked to not befriend students on SM
So less of the patronising comments please. There are no "rules" re privacy that I was ever told. Only guidelines and advice.

I think I know my own experience.

it's equally depressing that a Teacher can be character assassinated too.