advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

I find that strange and the unwelcoming attitude to new posters.

I go to threads via active and I post on ones that interest me.

This thread interested me because DS’s friend had unfounded allegations made against him and ended up having a breakdown and leaving teaching.

As far as I know, anyone can reply to a thread anywhere on mumsnet

I think OP needs to talk to the girls and find out what makes them uncomfortable about this member of staff, what is he doing that is making them feel this way? The OP should talk to the safeguarding lead at the school; or the child’s tutor as a first point of call if OP is concerned that the teacher is behaving wrong towards the children he’s teaching.

I think the teacher’s line manager should talk to the teacher and remind him to make his social media private.

Anybody who doesn't support making abhorrent insinuations against a man who has done absolutely nothing wrong is a man now too?

Stop making ridiculous assumptions about people.

If it was a male pupil why did the op say it was a girl and then say it wasn’t a pupil. Surely that is something you would mention?

They lost me at the claim that anyone with a different view to them must be a man.

Op. I’m so confused.

You said

happydappy2 Wed 04-Nov-20 17:03:53
Bull he is not new to the school.....yr missing the point spectacularly!
I never said a child told me.....
Go t

Add message | Report | Message poster | Quote happydappy2 Wed 04-Nov-20 20:11:40
Vet it wasn’t my daughter who showed me the Instagram account. Another child from the school.
Go to post
Add message | Report | Message poster | Quote happydappy2 Wed 04-Nov-20 22:47:51
To all the men posting on here-I can see you a mile off.

To clarify, it was a male pupil who showed me the teachers SM and thought it was off, so stop blaming girls. All the insinuations about nasty girls whipping up hate are.....wrong.
Go to post

So you said it wasn’t a child that told you, but it was also a male pupil?

So male pupils aren’t considered children by you, but the girls are? Why?

OP are you a teacher at the school?

I just find it strange you’ve focused on the media content rather than gathering facts about why he makes the girls feel uncomfortable. It’s all 3rd hand.

How did a male pupil tell you? What was the situation where he came and told you? Why was the male child looking at his SM account?

Up thread you said it wasn’t a child that told you?

All sounds very strange

It may be that he’s been drafted in to teach this class at v short notice or that he just didn’t realise who he followed was public.

Still don’t understand why the op went in to the school all guns blazing about that from third hand info and didn’t mention his inappropriate behaviour.

It's not irrelevant. It shows this man has a poor understanding of appropriate public behaviour as a teacher who teaches teenage girls. Which is actually quite significant.

It means he has failed to make his settings private. It could be a deliberate act, in which case it’s inappropriate but it could just be him forgetting to press a button. Teachers have private lives. There are plenty of teachers on tinder, grinder etc looking for hookups for instance. Teachers aren’t saints and shouldn’t be expected to be. It’s not an issue for a young guy to follow young women on Instagram at all - he should just ensure that people can’t see him doing it. Him being interested in women who flash their boobs doesn’t make him unsuited to teach unless he behaves inappropriately with his pupils.

Of course I realise the many issues regarding the recruitment of teachers. But many teachers leave the profession often due to feeling bullied by either government policies, workload, or continual parental bullying. I've seen it.

This sort of crap may not seem directly related to the UKs difficulty around retaining teachers but it is part of the general teach teachers like shit attitude that pervades society.

As someone who taught in the UK for over two decades I saw it gimr and time again. Parents complaining with little to no substance to their complaints can cause hell for teachers already sick of the job due to teacher bashing etc.

Yet the OP never focused on any of that when speaking to the head. She didn’t even ask the girls why they felt uncomfortable. She just focused on the SM account. Which is irrelevant.

It's not irrelevant. It shows this man has a poor understanding of appropriate public behaviour as a teacher who teaches teenage girls. Which is actually quite significant.

Agree. OP should not be acting as some confidante to various kids in the class and encouraging them to show her the IG account etc. That’s actually quite inappropriate. Get them to tell their own parents (plus in Covid times, should you be having multiple kids over to your house? Off topic, I know).

This thread, man.

Op I’m really confused.

Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private

This bit of your op doesn’t mention a boy telling you. You say “the girls” in the previous sentence and then go on to say “on of them” which refers back to “the girls”.

You then discuss him following fitness people on insta who are as good as topless and say one girl asked you if it was appropriate.

So, that relates to the fitness models.

As far as I can see, you have not told any of the parents of any of these girls, nor the parents of the boy who told you (albeit you phrased your op such that it was a girl who showed you) - you really should have told their parents so that they could investigate and question their children and also takes concerns to the head.

If the pe teacher is behaving inappropriately around the girls and the boys why did you focus on his insta and not raise the issue of his inappropriate behaviour?

If there is no way round this due to staffing issues then the man needs to understand that his behaviour needs to be beyond reproach, and not be publicly interacting with sexualised social media accounts. His inability to realise this and, preferably not follow them but failing that, do it on a private/anonymous/locked account, suggests that this man is probably not a suitable candidate for this particular role.

NiceGerbil I actually don’t disagree with your proposed course of action at all. I think it’s important to teach safety to kids. They should always be wary of any teacher trying to get them on their own or who gives out contact details or follows them on social media. Those things should ring alarm bells. That goes for pupils of both sexes because there have been cases of both male and female teachers grooming pupils and having ‘relationships’ with them. They should also look out for friends. However, I get the distinct sense that the OP doesn’t want this man teaching the class (because she’s said so).

The fact that they all dislike him is probably a pretty good thing. The groomers are often pretty popular- it’s how they manage to befriend students. For instance the pupils of Jeremy Forrest talked about how well liked he was at the school. As I said above, any inappropriate behaviour at my school tended to involve popular staff members who were then able to cross the line. That’s where the danger lies. Teens aren’t really at risk from creepy pedophiles in macs- the much greater danger comes from eg a 25 year old, cool, trendy guy who befriends a teen girl and tells her that he’s her ‘boyfriend’. But often that person will not give off any ‘creepy vibes’- quite the opposite.

When I was a young teenager there was a teacher who I felt very uncomfortable around as did some of my friends. I told my mother who believed me. Unfortunately it was another 4 years before the true extent of his abuse of children came out and after he was jailed and released it was another two decades or so before he was jailed again for offences in another school. I could never understand why adults could not see what we girls meant. The truth is that he was openly showing us he was “attracted” to us and carefully watching our responses so he could prey on the vulnerable girls.

For the record. I’m female.

I’ve taught year 9 girls before and they are the worst year for this kind of behaviour.

Don't listen to anything your daughter and her friends say, OP. No matter what they say has happened, they are lying, because they are "year 9 girls".

(Jesus fuck, this thread is something else)

I completely disagree he is likely to be following the instas because they are “sexualised”.

I think he’s following them because they’re fitness related.

In what way does the op describe him behaving inappropriately? He’s a PE teacher watching the pupils do PE.

So have any of the girls who he teaches PE to actually told you what he does?

It is it all third hand via a boy who they have told?

No wonder the UK has a dire dire problem recruiting and retaining teachers.

This sort of situation is barely relevant, if it's relevant at all, to the recruitment and retention of teachers. Teachers face much bigger problems than not being allowed to publicly follow sexualised Instas and having to behave appropriately around teenagers.

I think that’s why most posters think this is BS tbh

You need to get your story straight! I’m female by the way!

I’ve taught year 9 girls before and they are the worst year for this kind of behaviour.

However I don’t believe you know. At all.