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Original poster

Concerning tweet from a mum of a disabled child regarding their care at school.

39 replies

yourhairiswinterfire · 04/11/2020 01:33

mobile.twitter.com/Womankind15/status/1323621958886580224

I've looked for a thread but couldn't see if this has been posted. The mum of a disabled child that attends a special needs school has been contacted to say that parents no longer have the right to request a same sex staff member help their child with their intimate care, and the school have removed the "cross gender" consent part from their policy.

Because the school wants to be diverse Hmm

Someone please tell me this isn't legal. This absolutely can't be legal.

OP posts:
MrsSlocombesPussy · 04/11/2020 20:53

There's an update, I really feel for this woman and all the children at this school

twitter.com/womankind15/status/1323948950777434112?s=21

ThinkWittyThoughts · 04/11/2020 19:14

According to the Twitter thread, that letter was written by the school safeguarding lead!

Deltoids1 · 04/11/2020 18:37

I have a disabled child at special school. I would be kicking off like mad at this! As a parent of a special needs child you have to completely trust the school and the staff with your child. As soon as anything erodes that trust, the relationship is broken.
My child is non-verbal. She cannot tell me if anything is amiss. I have to trust the school is treating her properly in self-care tasks.

I would genuinely distrust the motives of whoever at the school thought this was an appropriate policy and would be flagging it up to the local safeguarding board.

EyesOpening · 04/11/2020 18:29

That comment also says “to suit all” except it doesn’t suit the mother, so it’s a no go

EyesOpening · 04/11/2020 18:18

@ThatIsNotMyUsername

Surely it’s sex not gender. Children need the best care for them - and if they/their parent feels that a carer of the same sex is the best for the child then how can they say ‘I’m not telling’?
If they don’t want to reveal that info then quite simply, they can’t do (that part of) the job! The child must come first FFS
ArabellaScott · 04/11/2020 18:01

Yes, I think more info on this is needed, Plan.

PlanDeRaccordement · 04/11/2020 17:59

That’s terrible. But are we sure the tweet is accurate? Her words in the tweet say parents can no longer request same sex carers for intimate care. But the image of the letter she posted merely says they’ve removed the cross-gender consent from their policy.

So, the part she posted doesn’t say that parents cannot request same sex carer? I’d like to see the actual policy because some schools do not allow cross gender care AT ALL so their policies wouldn’t have a cross gender consent in them either.

ArabellaScott · 04/11/2020 17:57

Here's a screenshot of the letter, taken from the tweet.

Concerning tweet from a mum of a disabled child regarding their care at school.
Original poster
yourhairiswinterfire · 04/11/2020 17:55

@ThatIsNotMyUsername

Surely it’s sex not gender. Children need the best care for them - and if they/their parent feels that a carer of the same sex is the best for the child then how can they say ‘I’m not telling’?
Yes, I think they mean sex but are using gender. I wonder whose guidance they've been reading...
OP posts:
Original poster
yourhairiswinterfire · 04/11/2020 17:52

@Aesopfable

The child (and parent acting on their behalf) has an absolute right to refuse intimate care from anyone - including cross-sex carers if they wish. Ignoring this would be criminal assault.
I've just seen Baroness Nicholson has offered to help the mum. BN also replied to Transgender Trend who said as much, that it would be assault.
OP posts:
ThatIsNotMyUsername · 04/11/2020 17:41

Surely it’s sex not gender. Children need the best care for them - and if they/their parent feels that a carer of the same sex is the best for the child then how can they say ‘I’m not telling’?

Aesopfable · 04/11/2020 08:18

The child (and parent acting on their behalf) has an absolute right to refuse intimate care from anyone - including cross-sex carers if they wish. Ignoring this would be criminal assault.

cabbageking · 04/11/2020 02:07

There is no right to the same sex but changing their policy doesn't mean they can ignore the childs right to dignity. Had she checked there is any change in the person delivering the care?. There should be a discussion about who it is and I would expect the same sex.

We don't specific any sex in our intimate care policies because any decision is based on agreement with all. what might be acceptable to one child and parent is different to another family.

Gingernaut · 04/11/2020 01:43

Sorry, I'm blocked for some reason.