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Original poster

I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

312 replies

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 29/10/2020 11:35

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

OP posts:
PegasusReturns · 29/10/2020 13:28

Shamelessly place marking.

trevorandsimon · 29/10/2020 13:26

I wanna know what happened!

popcornlover · 29/10/2020 13:26

Hope it went ok OP.

Can you imagine if someone asked you ten years ago, hell even three years ago, “what are your pronouns?” - you’d be stumped as to what the hell the meant. I would be tempted to look at them as if they’d just asked a question from outer space actually.

RoysFrankenstein · 29/10/2020 13:25

On here once someone posted that if asked their pronouns they'd say 'it/it's' and it really made me laugh, I chuckle every time I think about it. I'd love to do it but I doubt I could keep a straight face.

nosswith · 29/10/2020 13:23

'I'd prefer you just refer to me by my name, which is...'.

StealthPolarBear · 29/10/2020 13:21

Lurking to find out what happened. I suspect this will come soon in my work place.

ScrapThatThen · 29/10/2020 13:20

I prefer not to say, or would you mind if I don't, seems the most neutral response if you are not wanting to nail your gender critical stance to the mast.

Shizzlestix · 29/10/2020 13:20

Also placematking. I’m intrigued to see if the OP”s colleague has the balls (e cause my sexism/genderism!!) to reject being asked. World’ has gone mad. Can’t people (is it offensive to say people??) just use names?

ANoTail · 29/10/2020 13:18

[quote Coffeecak3]@CaptainCorellisPangolin at the upcoming meeting you really should reference this.
Hello, I'm Pangolin or some of you may know me by xxx's description as that goddam fucking duke![/quote]
It is tempting. Oh so very tempting.
We have a very elderly vicar sitting in on it (he's contributing to something we're publishing). Really, that should deter me but it only makes me want to do it more.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2020 13:18

Placemarking to see what you said... some brilliant suggestions!

MindTheMinotaur · 29/10/2020 13:16

Delirium we need to go to meetings together.

Alternista · 29/10/2020 13:15

Really want to know how it went... and saving some of these for future references.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/10/2020 13:14

@CaveMum

My personal fav tongue in cheek response (though I’ve never had the opportunity, or the balls to be quite frank) is:

“I identify as Michael Jackson. My pronouns are He/Hee”

😜

I liked Ricky gervais, in his twitter intro - something like 'my pronouns are he he he ... because I'm a comedian'
DasPepe · 29/10/2020 13:13

In addition I would say this could be uncomfortable for others in the meeting who do not wish to disclose pronouns.

It never occurred to me to care how people refer to me when I am not there.

MindTheMinotaur · 29/10/2020 13:13

^ to El Presidente

CaveMum · 29/10/2020 13:12

My personal fav tongue in cheek response (though I’ve never had the opportunity, or the balls to be quite frank) is:

“I identify as Michael Jackson. My pronouns are He/Hee”

😜

Deliriumoftheendless · 29/10/2020 13:11

Aw, Mindtheminatour beat me to it!

InescapableDeath · 29/10/2020 13:11

Hope it's going well! This would be my worst nightmare...

Deliriumoftheendless · 29/10/2020 13:10

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

El Presidente

"My pronouns are Boutros/Boutros/Ghali" Grin

Put down your weapons and listen to Bob Marley 😂

I suspect if you (OP) says “my name is blah, my job role is blah, thank you (mute)” you’ll find a few others do the same.

I’ve never been in this position but when training course ask for an intro I’m not comfortable with I just skip that bit and then usually a few other do as well. Once one does it others feel more comfortable.

MindTheMinotaur · 29/10/2020 13:09

Put down you arms/and/worship Bob Marley

NonnyMouse1337 · 29/10/2020 13:06

Good luck. And yes let us know how it goes. Smile

LindaEllen · 29/10/2020 13:05

If I had to do this, I would insist on being called 'it' and threaten a tribunal every time someone called me anything else.

Honestly for goodness sake, the world is going mad. By all means make people aware if you wish to be called something other than she/her if you're a female ffs but in the vast, vast majority of cases, if you're born male/female you remain male/female and are happy to be referred to as such.

I was born a woman. I clearly look like a woman. Sound like a woman. The massive tits are kind of a giveaway.

I do not want to have to clarify that. Ever.

AchieveBelieve · 29/10/2020 13:04

Honestly, please report back. I actually have a knot in my stomach on your behalf! I’ve tried to rehearse this scenario but even that brings me out in a cold sweat. ‘Please use the pronouns that make YOU feel the most comfortable, I won’t be at all offended by what you feel comfortable with’ said with a ‘kind’ expression on my face. And if impressed upon I’ll say ‘no honestly, please don’t worry, I have no preference in that department at all’.

But obviously I’d try and get away with skipping it altogether Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 29/10/2020 13:03

I’m gender-free but happy for people to use sex-based pronouns

I like that one.

MissMarplesGlove · 29/10/2020 12:59

I’d just skip the pronoun bit and move on

This. And if pressed talk about unconscious bias and the negative effects on women when attention is drawn to their SEX.

Or just say you're not comfortable sharing your pronouns, and you're happy for people to use whichever they think appropriate.