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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

312 replies

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 29/10/2020 11:35

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

OP posts:

Escapeplanning · 29/10/2020 20:49

Interested to know where the phone was during the grooming. Are there special horse phone holders on the market?

RHOBHfan · 29/10/2020 20:44

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

El Presidente

"My pronouns are Boutros/Boutros/Ghali"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

ListeningQuietly · 29/10/2020 20:39

disappearing
I can absolutely vouch for the lady that it was a very pretty welsh Cob
which I have met when working at her house

it was the fact that it was totally in character for her that made it all the funnier

just rather rural

DisappearingGirl · 29/10/2020 20:36

I'm genuinely wondering now whether she was literally grooming a pony or whether it's a euphemism I've never heard ...

WildishBambino · 29/10/2020 20:20

probably researching for his wife/sister/friend etc.

I suspect he was going to stick his male nose in and tell the women that discussing their female health concerns was exclusionary!

MiladyRenata · 29/10/2020 20:11

If you want to give your pronouns, great.

If not, then people will most likely assume them based on your appearance.

(she/her, by the way)

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 29/10/2020 19:45

Well done, OP: excellent passive resistance - and I don't mean that snidely - it's often the most effective way to resist because it's harder to challenge when people can't be sure whether it's deliberate.

When I"m asked to state my pronouns - which will inevitably happen sooner or later - I'm planning to say, "I don't identify as needing to state my pronouns". Polite, not unprofessional but also gobbledegook while sounding vaguely woke, so difficult to challenge.

Caroncanta · 29/10/2020 19:34

Oh, aye, fond of his column, I bet.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 29/10/2020 19:03

Goats on zoom! Whoda thunk it? Well apparently they have ...

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/no-kidding-farmer-hiring-out-18183020

SchadenfreudePersonified · 29/10/2020 18:50

I ran an online session and one lady had both sound and video off.
At the end she turned them on
She had been grooming a pony the whole time grin

Internet grooming is no laughing matter, I hope you called the police.

Thank heavens it was a pony and not a goat - I wouldn't want anything to do with someone who was grooming kids on the internet.

ohhwoooooooooooooo · 29/10/2020 18:37

I'd say my pronouns are fluid

NonnyMouse1337 · 29/10/2020 18:03

@ArabellaScott

Oh, aye, fond of his column, I bet.

😂

BasiliskStare · 29/10/2020 17:49

Just to add - pressed the button - if a colleague of mine had a strong preference re pronouns - of course I would use them but for the high percentage of people who don't think about their pronouns day to day - don't make them think about them - probably unpopular with some - but live and let live - you let me know what pronouns you want - I'll use them - I'll stick with the ones assigned at birth for the last half a century

BasiliskStare · 29/10/2020 17:44

Yes yes - I would have said I relate to pronouns typically related to my sex - so she / her / if others wish to do differently - I shall use them.

& yes my granny always said " she was the cat's mother" - do I relate as a cat. ?

I think the pronoun thing is fashionable - I think there are more important things to think about

SingToTheSky · 29/10/2020 17:27

Sadly I have left a few support groups that were supposedly women only. They weren’t. So I’m intrigued as to the open tab you spotted.

I’m glad the meeting was ok - nice to see others didn’t cave to it either. This stuff honestly makes me glad I’m not working right now. I’m a bit worried about potential work I’m looking for now - the work I want to do may mean I work in a fairly woke environment.

Scrouge · 29/10/2020 17:17

@Winterterrace

“I’d like to be referred to as he and him and I expect my next pay slip to reflect that.”

Yes

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2020 17:13

Ffs! Sounds good 👍

ArabellaScott · 29/10/2020 17:10

Oh, aye, fond of his column, I bet.

Original poster

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 29/10/2020 17:00

Just had another round of emails about creating a google form for people to sign up to something, around 100 people are expected to sign up. Apparently we need to add a column for them to put their pronouns I don’t think I’ll reply to that one!

I’m off to groom my pony.

Yours,

Whatthefuck

Your majesty/his grace/her royal greatness

OP posts:

EyesOpening · 29/10/2020 17:00

Internet grooming is no laughing matter, I hope you called the police

ListeningQuietly · 29/10/2020 16:56

Heron
Do a pet ambush ....
All but one turn off their video. Get pets onto laps. All turn on video.
THEN ask for pronouns
I want to be known as Tibbles

HeronLanyon · 29/10/2020 16:54

Wondering if there is some kind of toy pony (maybe with saddle and all the bits) that I could groom contentedly wfh.
I think this may sound rather rude/suggestive - not meant. I’m deadly serious.

ListeningQuietly · 29/10/2020 16:53

Arabella
Internet grooming is no laughing matter, I hope you called the police.
You just made me spit my tea

FWIW it was a networking session with about 35 people and I encourage people to put questions into the chat and then people answer on the video
as then everybody sees the exact question and can consider their responses.
We all laughed a LOT when she turned her phone screen on.

to those wondering how : phone in back pocket and earphone

ArabellaScott · 29/10/2020 16:50

@ListeningQuietly

Betty I ran an online session and one lady had both sound and video off. At the end she turned them on. She had been grooming a pony the whole time

Internet grooming is no laughing matter, I hope you called the police.

MissMarplesGlove · 29/10/2020 16:44

@BettyFilous I do that too! Or do my filing and sorting of mountains of paperwork that just seems to keep accumulating on the floor somehow. I can never work out how it gets there ...

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