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Original poster

I am being asked to go into a meeting and introduce my pronouns to everyone in an hour and a half!

312 replies

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 29/10/2020 11:35

I am part of a work group tasked with running a big event that will take almost a year to plan. The first meeting is in an hour and a half over Zoom. The organiser, who I've never met, and goes by they/them pronouns according to the email signature, sent round an email reminder this morning with the meeting link, and including an agenda. The first thing on it is to introduce ourselves, our work area, an our gender pronouns. I don't really want to do this, but I need to work with this person and the group as a whole for the best part of a year! I'm feeling like I'll just have to go along with it lest I get accused of enacting literal and actual violence. Any advice?

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 29/10/2020 11:42

Actually ignore me and do what @vivariumvivariumsvivaria and @SonEtLumiere suggest.

FluffMagnet · 29/10/2020 11:41

Can you say politely that you have no affinity to any gender stereotypes, however you believe most people will refer to you by pronouns relating to your sex?

CoolYourBeansMySon · 29/10/2020 11:41

It's an agenda item? FFS. Good luck OP and on working with them.

Smallsteps88 · 29/10/2020 11:41

Don’t do it. Just comepletey ignore that part of the instruction. They’d have to be completely lacking in self awareness to interrupt you on a live meeting to insist you do it. If they do, however, you ask them if they wish to postpone the meeting and discuss this privately.

SonEtLumiere · 29/10/2020 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheElementsOfMedical · 29/10/2020 11:40

Just introduce yourself, your work area, and then stop there with a politely firm expression on your face?

joanwinifred · 29/10/2020 11:40

Just give your name and don't bother with the pronouns. If they press tell them you don't think it's appropriate and you don't feel comfortable with these kinds of questions.
If they want to truly be inclusive of everyone, that will include those who know women's pronouns are sex based like their oppression.

AfterSchoolWorry · 29/10/2020 11:39

I'd totally ignore it.

Goannaforanna · 29/10/2020 11:39

I have sworn that if I am ever asked to do this I will say that my pronouns are he/him- I am not going to emphasise my femaleness to my own disadvantage and it makes as much sense as any other option.. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

ChaToilLeam · 29/10/2020 11:37

I’d just skip the pronoun bit and move on. I bet others feel like you too. Will the organiser have the nerve to press this during the meeting?

ArabellaScott · 29/10/2020 11:37

I'd just ignore it. They'll look like idiots if they try and force the issue.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 29/10/2020 11:37

Message the organiser and say you are not ready to discuss your pronouns publicly and how do they intend to prevent you from being outed in this way?