For anyone who thinks calling pregnant women 'birthing people' is not a big deal, here's where that leads

🤷‍♀️🙈

There’s really no need to get angry about this. The people who come up with is language are so silly and desperate, I actually pity them. It’s like in the film Mean Girls when Gretchen tries to make the word “fetch” happen. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

So what are midwives going to be called in the future? Midspouses, I guess.

'm not really concerned with those women who genuinely are saying it to be kind. It will take a conversation of about 30 seconds to make them see the issue.

I have had two conversations with women who wrote those articles where my gender identity is replaced by calling me a body part owner.

I emailed them to inquire further and explained why I found what they did problematic (!).

Both stated in their answers that transgender people are so much more abused and assaulted than bog-standard women that they have decided being nice is more important than any discomfort this might give me. So I wasn't able to make them change their views.

Makes me mad. Women's reproductive health issues aren't a fucking political tool. Neither are they a validation tool. They're real things, happening to real women.

There is nothing that won't be appropriated. What else is left???

I agree @WhataFarce76
In my own terrifying experience of pregnancy, the midwives were so amazing. I took great comfort in their help during this profoundly female experience. There is just so much support and understanding and just 'knowing', so much of it unsaid. All my experiences with the doctors and obstetricians were terrible, but that's another matter...
If the 'female' is removed from pregnancy and birth, we really have nothing left that is ours.
That is not to say trans people shouldn't have babies by the way. Just do not strip us of our identity in (everything but mainly) this very profound thing.

"Yeah, it’s secret community for midwives in the making fb group which is probably the biggest student midwife group on fb. One of the admins is trans and anyone who mentions anything remotely against the party line is kicked out."

(Above quoted from JacobReesMogadishu, sorry, quote button isn't appearing. )

The above is fucking awful. Will this person be training to be a midwife then? The mind boggles. Presuming the 'non-trans birthing person' will not know that the person assisting with their most intimate, personal, significant and sometimes frightening event of their lives is actually a non biological female. Before anyone jumps on that, I have nothing against male gyn doctors or midwifes, but that is when the woman (oops) is fully aware that they are male and agrees to be treated by them.
The fact that this person is influencing and dictating what can and cannot be said in a group primarily about female issues is fucking terrifying. The fact that women are rolling over and letting them do it is even more terrifying.

Coffee

RE Sands... my baby died before she was born, so what does that make me? I'm not a woman (obviously, duh), and I'm not a mother (don't exist) but I'm not a birth-giver and I'm not a menstruator either.
Am I even here??

It's those who do see the issue, but still don't care. Or those whose internal misogyny is so concreted in they dig their heels when it's pointed out. Those are the people I'm speaking about.

I’m currently pregnant. If anyone refers to me as a birthing person I shall not be accountable for my actions.

am I allowed to use the C word?

It's so dehumanising.

Clearly that should read lib fems but who knows what words mean these days?

I do agree Datun and Michelle but I think there are some supportive lib female who will actually believe that just because they don’t mind being called “(insert offensive term here)” then we should all be good little girls and make life easier for the Poor Oppressed Ones (insert trademark symbol here.). I know the main posters here are doing a bit of territorial pissing but I think there’s actual women feeling guilt over a perceived “privilege”’they have been told they have that chirp up without really thinking.

Anyway, today I am a “smear test haver” and I will be discussing my slide into becoming a “post mentruator” I’m sure I’ll sound sane if I ask the non-doctor practitioner like that.

Indeed. The SANDS language was what was unkind.

Whoever was responsible for using it in that organisation, and the leadership team, should reflect on who they’re seeking to help and raise funds from and for.

And really, anyone who has the nerve to rock up here and innocently say “oh hey, it’s not a big deal what’s wrong with being kind etc”

That's an incredibly kind way to interpret what was actually an aggressive, rude and notably un kind statement phrased as an order. It did not involve any questioning or interest in what anyone else thought or their reasons for thinking so.

Which is typically characteristic of those who go around snarling "be kind"; oddly they never embody or model the orders they like to give to others. I'm also endlessly confused as to why females should wish to 'be kind' to their own detriment towards those who have no belief in reciprocation or equal kindness in return. Because who would? Other than some kind of masochist?

SANDS are in the news for having used this horrible, dehumanising practice too - just today. SANDS. A charity who exist to support grieving mothers, who are already doubtless traumatised having had their status as mothers unexpectedly ripped from them along with all the hopes and dreams they have for that child. Then they see that experience erased by the very charity put in place to help them. It's a horrible betrayal which to me stings more than any of them.

The bereaved women who dare to object are, incidentally, being referred to as 'transphobic bigots'. What they are is grieving mothers. Really, I despair.

Its not kind inclusive language, its dissociative language.

It should be possible to understand why more obscure, less accurate language is harmful, even if you can understand why it would sometimes be appropriate in situations that only involve trans people.

Meanwhile "Whatever you grow will save a bro".

And really, anyone who has the nerve to rock up here and innocently say “oh hey, it’s not a big deal what’s wrong with being kind etc” after reading the comments from women on this thread YET AGAIN discussing personal and traumatic experiences as to why language matters

Many of them aren't doing it out of ignorance, though. Because they haven't been told, relentlessly how offensive it is. It's precisely because it is offensive that many people still do it.

And really, anyone who has the nerve to rock up here and innocently say “oh hey, it’s not a big deal what’s wrong with being kind etc” after reading the comments from women on this thread YET AGAIN discussing personal and traumatic experiences as to why language matters should just be fucking honest with themselves that they don’t care how much women are excluded, othered, reduced or erased and own their misogyny.

This thread perfectly illustrates what “be kind” means. “Be kind to men or face the consequences.”

Thanks Errol.

No worries Marzipan I thought it would be obvious but we do get some types round here who would write that with a straight face.

I’m as disgusted as every other WOMAN here. But I still want to make the point that treating women like shit is what passes for kindness and inclusivity these days.

EverydayDrudge this paragraph of yours

For the sake of everybody, the term woman to describe a biologically female adult human needs to stay. All this trying to skirt round it is making it more of a triggering and loaded term than it ever was.

Is so so true....but also made me laugh because of the phrase 'skirt round the issue'.... perfect metaphor for this whole mess