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Original poster

Just ‘be kind’

38 replies

SmallPug · 24/10/2020 13:27

How do you counter all those ‘be kind’, or ‘it’s just being nice’ comments. They drive me absolutely nuts. It’s not kind or nice to divorce meanings from words - it has unintended consequences. It’s not kind or nice to erase women. It’s not kind to insist women tolerate men in their spaces. I’m so FURIOUS at the implication that I’m just being a big meany.

OP posts:
OwlOne · 24/10/2020 14:38

They annoy me too because what the people using them mean is don't challenge me, agree with me. And if you challenge my views you're ''not nice''.

OhHolyJesus · 24/10/2020 14:34

I'll be kind when it applies as a two way street.

Accusing women of bigotry and silencing them, removing our language, opportunity to play sport fairly, misrepresenting our views and deplatforming is not kind. It's not even fair.

Fuck being kind. Being kind never got us the vote.

Original poster
SmallPug · 24/10/2020 14:27

Thanks everyone. In this case, it was a woman. Apparently it’s kind to teach children incorrect words to describe people, when I think it’s dangerous. Ffs. It’s like the whole ‘why don’t you want to be inclusive’ thing. Every time I see the word inclusive it makes me want to scream these days. Especially when feminism is inclusive of 50% (51?) of the population but people discredit it by saying it’s ‘cisheteronormative white feminism’.

OP posts:
yourhairiswinterfire · 24/10/2020 13:45

Be kind these days just means shut the fuck up women, and do/think whatever the men tell you to.

Nope, I'll carry on being that utter bitch that sticks up for women and girls, thanks.

Chersfrozenface · 24/10/2020 13:42

Modern English definitions: kind (adj.) = doormat

SophocIestheFox · 24/10/2020 13:39

Exactly, errol. I have nothing against kindness, and I spread it around to:

Women. Girls. Gender non conforming children. Autistic teenage girls. Girls who have been sexually abused. People with English as a second language. Trans widows. Children of late transitioners. Sportswomen. Women in public life. Trans people (yes. I don’t think that terrorising trans people with distorted statistics on suicide, insisting that no trans person needs help with their mental health,and accepting substandard and untested medical treatment is at all kind.)

I’ve got a massive fucking list of people I’m kind to.

NecessaryScene1 · 24/10/2020 13:39

I like Helen Joyce's Twitter bio, which concludes:

"Not your support human; not a supporting actress. And no, you be kind"

terryleather · 24/10/2020 13:34

"Be kind" etc is generally directed at women to take advantage of our female socialisation to put everyone but ourselves first and to worry that others might think badly of us. Many women are very invested in being seen as being "nice" and "kind" etc.

"Be kind" in this context is a request or demand to submit. No, Fuck that.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 24/10/2020 13:33

Kindness goes both ways. How is it kind to try to undermine legal sex based protections.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/10/2020 13:32

You can retort that you are being kind. You're being kind to women and girls. You're being kind to gender-confused children being pushed into a lifetime of medicalisation and sterility.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/10/2020 13:31

Agree with Arabella though, it's a diversionary tactic which is probably best ignored.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 24/10/2020 13:30

They're using it to shut you down. That's not kind, so you are under no obligation to be yourself. I would ask where the kindness is to women.

ArabellaScott · 24/10/2020 13:28

Rise above. Ignore it. It's irrelevant. Focus on calm, factual statements and sometimes questions. Large parts of this debate are just diversionary tactics.

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