Just ‘be kind’

Channel Swearygodmother & #fuckkind keep standing up for women & girls

‘why don’t you want to be inclusive’

I do. I want to include transmen in women's spaces. And I fully expect men to be inclusive by welcoming transwomen in their spaces.

Being kind gets sands tweeting about them birthing parent’. How bloody ‘unkind’ is that?

Be kind is an industry now. I saw a range of t shirts, gym bottles etc - all aimed at women with #bekind on. I often see it on clothing aimed at little girls, teen girls and women. Rarely on male clothing yet it’s men who need to be kind to other men who are “different”. It’s mainly men who are unkind to gay men, to feminine men and to trans sexuals. Traditionally, these men sought friendships with women. There’s a word for it - “fag hag”.

"In a world where you can be anything, be kind"

Fuck off.

"Be kind " to individual trans women, go in hard on the lobby groups and the institutions that are blindly accepting this ideology.

According to Companies House, Stonewall Equality Limited which is now primarily a trans rights agenda group recieve yearly funding from the Department for education, the foreign and commonweath office, NHS Scotland, and the Scottish and Welsh government. It's not huge sums, but enough to employ a large staff of professionals to push the agenda and this has been going on for years. We are literally paying taxes for our rights to be eroded. Over the last few years they have been consulting and installing "mentorship" programmes in all the country's key infrastructure under the guise of inclusivity, it's very Orwelian.

Freely available to view.
find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/02412299/filing-history

It has a yearly budget of £10million (not all publically funded) By contrast fairplay for women is croudfunding to reach £30,000.

"Protecting my children from harm takes precedence over being kind imo"

I have found this a helpful phrase in the past

Kind. It seems like such an innocuous word but it's become a real wolf in sheep's clothing, used by the vacuous and the intolerant to shut women up. Ignore or respond with another less oblique four letter word of your choosing.

My kindness, like my feminism, is primarily concerned with women's safety, rights and protections.

It's good to work out in your own head or discuss why 'be kind' is irrelevant.

But honestly, if someone uses that line then generally whether they mean it to be or not, it's just a diversion, don't go there, there's no point arguing it. It's meaningless.

'Women's prisons should be single sex for their safety'
'be kind' - in what way does this address the issue? It's meaningless.

'Women should be entitled to ask for and get a female HCP'
'be kind' - this is not relevant.

'Children should be given factual information about sex and not be told their clothes/toys have any bearing on their being a girl or a boy'
'be kind' - again, it's just meaningless.

I suppose it's a kind of tone policing. A way to stop the issues from being discussed.

It's also not 'kindness' to suggest that 'transitioning' will solve childrens' problems - as far as I'm aware the Tavistock's own research suggested mental health outcomes were worse after transitioning.

'Kindness' isn't always about pandering, or pretending, or going along with something. Kindness (which I value greatly) sometimes involves upsetting boats, telling the truth even though it's difficult, asking questions instead of turning a blind eye. Real, genuine kindness means connecting with honesty and compassion, not just doing what you're told in case someone gets upset. That isn't kindness, it's emotional manipulation/blackmail, and no good for anyone.

We live in a country where a law has had to be passed to stop men effectively blaming the woman they killed during sex for their own death.

Fuck being kind.

Being kind leads to women/girls losing out to males on things set up to help them achieve parity.
Be kind? You first!

This is more to the point:

"Do better" is the one that makes me rage.

Being kind leads to housing rapists (of women) with women inmates
Being kind leads to women losing sex discrimination cases because now “men” can’t do those things either

You could point out the massive sexism in assuming female athletes ought to be "kind" rather than competitive.

It's not kind to lie to people. It's not kind to lie to children and promise them something they cannot have.

It's also not kind to lie to vulnerable people and pretend that they are not seeing what you are both seeing.

It's not kind to take someone's right to privacy and dignity away from them.

The blasphemy label is just being recycled as far as I can see.

There is a growing body of flat earthers - they have their own netflix movie. I don't agree with them but there they are, entitled to their different opinion.

Anti - science is a growing trend, anti - intellectualism seems to be remarkably popular in all aspects of life now. Maybe "be kind" just needs the added social context.

"Not your support human; not a supporting actress. And no, you be kind"

Exactly.

Although it's quite useful to hear it trotted out, as it illustrates beautifully that whenever used in this context there is never a visible concept of or sincere holding of kindness as a value - or inclusion, or respect, or tolerance, or diversity, or intersectionality, or any of the other Big Words that get used. They're merely used as empty, hollow sounds because they are perceived as buttons to press that make other humans do what you want.

There is no intention of reciprocal values, what is meant is purely "Give me what I want. Now." So yes, useful, as it illustrates many of the key views involved by those who use it in this way.

What's kind about a rape survivor having to use a service headed by a male? Where's the kindness to women jailed alongside rapists? To sportswomen told they must compete against males, and smile nicely when they are robbed of success?

What's kind about removing our own language from us, and our privacy, safety, and the right to be a collective?

This is a land-grab by male people, of female rights and provisions and even our ability to identify who we are, so we can work together as a group for our own betterment... and when we protest, we are told to be kind?

It's extraordinary, really. The sheer brass neck of it.

Yes, we should be kind,

But if someone is unkind to me, then I won't go out of my way to be kind to them

I also will not lie under the guise of being kind, especially when I think that would be harmful to the person concerned