SANDS sorry if upsetting

Just to reinterate - where a baby died due to premature birth calling the mother the 'birthing parent' is to tell the mother she is the one responsible for her baby's death.

It is actually really sad - but you should see the abuse JK Rowling got in twitter because she objected to an article much like this one. I mean truly horrific abuse. It is very upsetting. It is so easy to be inclusive without disregarding 'mother' x

I hope the tweet stands. If it goes people will lie even more about what the responses said.

All across twitter, people are accusing bereaved mothers of abusing Freddie as it is.

I don't give a shit what terminology they use, they are an amazing organisation and if you are ever in need of their support, then believe me you will have more on your mind that fucking words they use

Yes.

And it isn't about transmen, either.

The aim isn’t to include, its to distance.

It's almost like 'mother' and 'woman' are dirty words

Yes, this is the effect.

‘Birthing parent’ isn’t inclusive language, it’s just a way of depersonalising a woman’s role in the reproductive process to a level that somebody suffering from dysphoria might be able to bare.

It should be obvious why denying reality isn’t beneficial to most women.

The apology is a good one.

We are so sorry that this tweet has upset some people. Our tweet should have included the word mothers. It was an error and we apologise from the bottom of our hearts. Sands is here for everyone.

They recognise that the word 'mother' can be especially important to one who has empty arms. Inclusion is 'as well as' - not anyone's erasure.

It's almost like 'mother' and 'woman' are dirty words. Men and father are still ok though.

Not necessarily Awning, sometimes it is senior management or trustees who work their way round charities instilling destructive ideologies whereever they go.

Hopefully someone will be getting some further training (or have their access to social media accounts curtailed)

Tweet appears to have been removed.

Could be. Or people moving within the sector.

Do we suspect that this is the result of organisations/companies/ charities bringing in outside agencies to give training?

I really don't think anyone here wants to drag, cancel or attack Sands. But it wouldn't be the first time a good charity went badly off course. It's wonderful that so many women care enough about their good reputation and the need for them to continue their work to tell them when they've got something wrong - at some cost to themselves. This has been caught in time for the charity to take a careful look at what they're doing and refocus on the people who need them the most.

Absolute drivel, I have lost my patience with this bullshit

Because that’s not the point is it?

Maya helpfully reminded me that Freddie lost Freddie's appeal because:

the Court of Appeal upheld the term "mother" is inclusive of all who grow another human being inside their body even if they identify as men (or non binary)

Judgment quotes:

The status of being a "mother" arises from the role that a person has undertaken in the biological process of conception, pregnancy and birth.

Being a "mother" or "father" with respect to the conception, pregnancy and birth of a child is not necessarily gender-specific, although until recent decades it was invariably so. It is not possible, and recognised by the law, for a "mother" to have an acquired gender of male, and for a "father" to have an acquired gender of female.

So the Court of Appeal came down on the sensible side of sex versus gender. Yes Freddie's "gender" is "male", but that does not change the reality of Freddie being a mother.

As, thanks to recent gender reforms, the gender people have got what they asked for - "mother" is not gender-specific. (But it does remain sex-specific, due to reality, of course).

Yes Sands do good work but they need to think about the very people who they are supposed to be supporting and who I'm sure make up the bulk of their donated income - mothers.

And Freddie McConnell can describe himself however he likes. However his child's birth certificate is clear that, as Freddie gave birth, Freddie is that baby's mother.

I will not have that word taken away.

Oh my goodness, you are right! He said:

"The backlash to this isn't a fear of cis women being excluded.

It's a cynical attempt to erase trans and nb birth. And to essentialise/police womanhood in a way that hurts all women."

That's what it's about. Whoever is pushing this language change views natal women keeping the words that identify their experiences as being "hurtful to all women" or. Trans-women.

In the history of women giving birth at no point were they referred to as just "the birthing parent" rather than "mother" for fear that it would hurt infertile women or single women.

Why do trans-women want to take these words from us?!