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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Do any of you dress etc 'gender free' or have tried to in the past?

353 replies

SoulofanAggron · 21/10/2020 12:23

I'm going a bit more 'gender free' in my look. Did try it once years ago for a couple of years. Have any of you tried it/done it?

I know a lot of women have quite a 'gender free' look anyway.

OP posts:
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lazylinguist · 21/10/2020 15:03

I think it's a really interesting topic though. Because when we talk about the idea of removing the cultural convention of having men's clothes and women's clothes, what do we mean?

Do we mean a situation where it would be totally normal for both men and women to wear everything from frilly dresses to... well, actually I'm struggling to think of any men's clothes that would look culturally that weird on a woman. Or do we mean that clothes themselves should becone more unisex (which, let's face it, actually means 'more masculine')?

OperationallySound · 21/10/2020 15:02

Pretending that's not the case does not gain you woke points

I think the last thing most of us who don't understand the OP want is woke points Grin Quite the opposite really.

The thing with all this non binary gender free nonsense is that it is based on a premise of breaking free from stereotypical sex based constraints in the first place. That's the issue I have. I grew up with 'feminine' boys, and girls who likes short hair and DMs. David Bowie, Marc Bolan, Boy George, KD Laing, Alison Moyet. They all were whatever they wanted to be and that was absolutely fine. We're going backwards.

2Rebecca · 21/10/2020 15:01

Surely most people just buy clothes that they think they look good in and that fit? My t shirt is a unisex fit because I dont like women's fit t shirts, my boobs don't need accentuating. I do buy women's cycle jerseys because they are meant to be tight and usually buy women's shorts and trousers because we are a different shape to men. I usually buy men's gloves because I have large hands made larger by arthritis. I have never bought anything just because it looks gender neutral. That seems a strange idea.

diplodocusinermine · 21/10/2020 14:59

Errol, the secret is to jump up and down and you can hear which pocket your keys are in!

CoffeeTeaChocolate · 21/10/2020 14:56

lazylinguist, you are right. OP I apologise if I was snarky. I am just so fed up with clothes used to signal some inner, unspecified gender identity.

OP, this is how I view it. I am a woman because of my sex. Nothing I dress in will change this. Very rarely I wear a nice dress because my husband likes it. Almost every other day I wear something comfortable, that fits me well and that is suitable for whatever plans I have for the day. I don’t use my clothing to signal my gender because I don’t believe in gender.

If you want to support feminism or women, I believe there are so many other areas where you can have a bit impact. Clothes are just clothes.

It does seem like you are dressing in a way that you feel is too stereotypical female for you. If that is the case, find some clothes which you are happier with.

Melroses · 21/10/2020 14:54

"Gender free clothes" always reminds me of these two Grin

Do any of you dress etc 'gender free' or have tried to in the past?
WellThisIsShit · 21/10/2020 14:53

I love the idea of ‘trying to’ but not quite managing it and ending up dressing up as a lady instead! Damn it those little pink net skirts get everywhere And they don’t lie flat over my ‘genderless’ (male) trousers either Grin

Sorry OP, I think you probably meant something quite different and perfectly earnest!

Frequentcarpetflyer · 21/10/2020 14:52

Apart from plain navy socks (although mens' socks tend to have a longer "shaft") I can't think of any item of clothing that isn't gendered. Perhaps a duffle coat?

DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 14:51

Agree with pps that it was excellent in the early 90s when our clothes were often interchangeable with the boys

Doesn't that answer the OP's question to some extent. Those clothes were gender free/unisex or whatever you want to call them.

Personally I would hate to have clothes which were interchangeable with boys or mens.

Gooseybby · 21/10/2020 14:51

I dont buy into clothes defining gender, im biologically female and gender is bs. Sometimes i wear dress and heels, other times i used to borrow my ex husbands suits and considered i looked better in them than him. At all times i was female and gender was bs. I'm in leggings trainers and my bfs jumper today.

2Rebecca · 21/10/2020 14:51

I'm wearing trousers trainers and t shirt because I'm at the allotment and a long floaty dress would get torn and mucky. I think the idea of clothes signalling your "gender" is very retro. Let clothes be clothes etc

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 21/10/2020 14:50

I wear what's on the top of the clean clothes pile, I don't really put a lot of thought into what I wear day to day as long as I'm warm, comfortable, and don't smell bad, so generally it's jeans/joggers/leggings, with t-shirt and a jumper of some sort (hoodie/knitted/cardigan)

I do own some tops that my DP wouldn't wear (the odd flounce) I suppose, which is because of gendered expectations around looking smart (thank god with lockdown that's an even rarer occurrence than it was before).

And I am an obviously female shape, so the shirts I have are a female fit - but I don't see why that is any less gender neutral than one made to fit a male body.

DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 14:48

@lazylinguist

I think some people are being a bit snarky and disingenuous in their responses. No it's not necessary for all clothes to be 'gendered', but they largely are. Even with a pair of trousers or jeans it is obvious more often than not whether they are for women or men, because of the cut and/or other design features, including little 'feminine' patterns, pocket designs etc. Pretending that's not the case does not gain you woke points.

Blatantly presumably the OP is asking whether any of us make a deliberate effort to avoid clothes which have a design or cut aimed at women, i.e. clothes from men's shops or departments or from women's ranges but which lack those design features. I'm not sure why people are pretending not to know what she means. It's utterly ridiculous to claim that 'clothes are just clothes, they don't have a gender', when evidence to the contrary is all around us.

I prefer unfussy, clothes in fabric that's not highly patterned. I like skirts because I find them comfortable, but not dresses so much. I often buy men's jumpers, but I'm pretty curvy with biggish boobs, so other men's clothes don't fit me.

I agree about the snarky responses. It seemed to me quite obvious what the OP was asking. My answer would be no- quite the opposite in fact.
ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 21/10/2020 14:46

I probably won’t go as far as androgynous as I’d be afraid of being criticised for not being conventionally attractive (I had a lot of that sort of bullying at school, plus I’m quite sensitive)

Agree with pps that it was excellent in the early 90s when our clothes were often interchangeable with the boys

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 21/10/2020 14:42

Yes, I make myself look more ‘feminine’ currently as I’m on the lookout for a husband/long term partner. Once in an established relationship I’ll probably wear less makeup and have my hair shorter (still long, but not as long)

That’s my honest truth, am saying it here as I’m anonymous.

If he loves me in the way I’m hoping for, it’ll make no difference to him. But I want to be able to attract ‘his’ attention and I happen to live in a highly populated young city. That’s why I’m making more of an effort to be feminine right now.

I look forward to saving the (admittedly small, but still) time, money and effort on looking different to how I do naturally.

Cailleach1 · 21/10/2020 14:35

No, if clothing is cut to accommodate women's larger hips and breasts, that is cut to accommodate the characterises of sex. Not gender.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/10/2020 14:35

And we don't care Dido

Feminism can wholly embrace whatever clothing choices you make.

The problem with the OP, partially clarified in her follow up post, is the idea of clothing having, representing a gender. We all know the stereotypes and most if us have long chosen to ignore them for clothes we like. Some of which will be as pretty and feminine as the clothes you probably wear.

We don't care until someone starts using those choices as additional labels or a stick with which to beat us... as you seem to be doing.

Cailleach1 · 21/10/2020 14:33

My clothing decisions are based on the lines of any ideology or religion or cult. Most certainly not according to one which I don't belong to and view as false. And offensive.

Scots men must really upset those people who follow the 'gender' ideology.

lazylinguist · 21/10/2020 14:33

I think some people are being a bit snarky and disingenuous in their responses. No it's not necessary for all clothes to be 'gendered', but they largely are. Even with a pair of trousers or jeans it is obvious more often than not whether they are for women or men, because of the cut and/or other design features, including little 'feminine' patterns, pocket designs etc. Pretending that's not the case does not gain you woke points.

Blatantly presumably the OP is asking whether any of us make a deliberate effort to avoid clothes which have a design or cut aimed at women, i.e. clothes from men's shops or departments or from women's ranges but which lack those design features. I'm not sure why people are pretending not to know what she means. It's utterly ridiculous to claim that 'clothes are just clothes, they don't have a gender', when evidence to the contrary is all around us.

I prefer unfussy, clothes in fabric that's not highly patterned. I like skirts because I find them comfortable, but not dresses so much. I often buy men's jumpers, but I'm pretty curvy with biggish boobs, so other men's clothes don't fit me.

Lweji · 21/10/2020 14:32

I dress for comfort, for occasions, for whatever I'm doing and according to how I feel on the day.

So, I can go from a floral dress to jeans, comfortable shoes and a t-shirt.

I wouldn't change my wardrobe to be more or less gendered.

Holothane · 21/10/2020 14:28

I’m dammed if I’m getting told clothes must be gender this gender that, I live in t shirts and jeans they are comfortable I wear what I like. Yes I. In jimmies today still getting over a bad back.

DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 14:28

Or do you mean not dressing according to sexist stereotypes?

I assumed that is what the OP meant. I'm sure I dress, so far as FWR would be concerned, according to sexist stereotypes.

ColleagueFromMars · 21/10/2020 14:26

I'm currently wearing a hoodie, tracksuit bottoms and walking boots. The bra and knickers are 100% female though.

I bought a load of skirts because I really fancy wearing more skirts, but since they are hand-wash only I now just have a pile of laundry I haven't done yet Blush

Why are you putting thought into if your clothing is gender free? What is your goal?

DidoLamenting · 21/10/2020 14:25

I'm not quite sure why you are all so puzzled by the question. It seemed obvious that OP was asking whether you deliberately avoid anything which is obviously socially or conventionally considered "women's clothes" or "men's clothes"

I would not be seen dead in anything which was bought from the men's wear section or if bought from the women's section would not raise any eyebrows if worn by a man.

I don't own trousers, jeans, sweatshirts, t-shirts , hoodies , or trainers or anything unisex or any clothing with logos or words on it. I find masculine styled/ unisex clothing deeply unattractive.

OperationallySound · 21/10/2020 14:22

Do define gender free dressing for us OP, I'm fascinated.

Or do you mean not dressing according to sexist stereotypes?