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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Jk Rowling and trans issues... talk to me!

490 replies

bunters · 20/10/2020 10:17

Ok mumsnet, please talk to me. I’ve noticed that the feminist section of mumsnet seems disproportionately preoccupied with trans issues and I’d like to understand it. I opened the feminism chat today and topic after topic related to trans this, gender that

It is an indisputable fact that women suffer horrific domestic violence in this country (and worldwide), at the hands of men. Women are regularly beaten, raped, controlled, murdered and otherwise abused by men every single day. It’s so standard that it barely makes news when it happens, unless the crime is truly shocking.

This whole trans hysteria feels to me like if the government were to start a huge campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of choking on peanuts, while ignoring the huge damage caused by alcohol and tobacco.

JK Rowling has started a bizarre war around the language used to refer women, in the name of women’s rights. With her money and popularity she could have done any number of things to help women in a huge way. What has this achieved, other than pitting feminists against each other? Even if you believe she has a point, surely you can see that whatever ‘danger’ trans people pose to women is minuscule compared to the very real danger men openly pose to women every day?

We all know that men have felt entitled to take what they want when they want for centuries, and they don’t need to dress as a woman to do it. The women gang raped to death (can you even imagine the horror) in India weren’t attacked by men in dresses. I’m despairing of the fact that attention has been diverted from these horrors in such an extreme way.

When I look at my beautiful, tiny daughter I don’t worry about some trans person hurting her, I worry about the very likely situation when a man hurts her. In fact, I’d worry more that she’ll be trans and be hurt by someone before I’d worry about a trans person hurting her. When I walk alone at night somewhere, my mind isn’t imagining trans people waiting in dark doorways to rape me, it’s men. Men being bloody men.

If we accept that men don’t need to be trans and gain access to women’s spaces to hurt us, and we accept that trans people are way more likely to attempt suicide than the rest of the population (and so really are in need of help and protection as much as women), why do trans issues continue to cause such anger?

And if you do feel justified, what tangible thing are you doing to help women, besides moaning on mumsnet and signing petitions?

OP posts:
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ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2020 18:46

@Quaagars

I think that poster was taking the piss, hence the amiright at the end?

Yep, I thought so too but it's the way it's insinuated that anyone who doesn't always agree with "GC" must think that.
When nobody's said that at all apart from a GC poster!

Well who was it who started on the bits between the legs? Ok, so maybe that shouldn't have been taken at all seriously either but if not then it was a weak deflection tbh.
Quaagars · 20/10/2020 18:43

I think that poster was taking the piss, hence the amiright at the end?

Yep, I thought so too but it's the way it's insinuated that anyone who doesn't always agree with "GC" must think that.
When nobody's said that at all apart from a GC poster!

Quaagars · 20/10/2020 18:40

I've already noted it

Good good Grin

yourhairiswinterfire · 20/10/2020 18:40

I think that poster was taking the piss, hence the amiright at the end?

Says it all that we can't actually tell.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2020 18:38

Worth noting that that comment you're saying is silly is one made by a "GC" poster, nobody on the other "side"

I've already noted it.Grin

Quaagars · 20/10/2020 18:36

@lazylinguist

biology is only your outside part of your body not your skin but like your penis. whether you are man or woman depends on whether the inside of your body (eg your lungs and liver) aligns with your penis

Grin Of all the daft comments I've read about the biology/gender debate, that is definitely the silliest. Human beings are born as a complete item, not assembled from separate bits which may or may not 'match' or 'align' with each other.

Worth noting that that comment you're saying is silly is one made by a "GC" poster, nobody on the other "side"
KiposWonderbeasts · 20/10/2020 18:28

@Quaagars

Is birth sex on the outside then? Confused Well, yes, your birth sex, what's between your legs on the outside, that's your birth sex, right, surely you know that?
First I thought Quaagars was being absurdist and I laughed.

Then I thought “where do you even start with this nonsense?”

Now I’m at “sod this for a lark, is it wine o’clock yet?”

Birth sex on the outside. Like a meat suit we wear. Angry I’d to return mine because peri menopause is making it malfunction; do you have an address I can contact, Quaagars?

Winesalot · 20/10/2020 18:27

Since my post was deleted.

I like to think that some posters on this thread are providing a live FAQ stream for people reading who might have had questions or have similar opinions to the OP.

It is important to keep this discussion going as it is always helpful to hear new information and get a different view point. And in this instance, to see just how much our speech is controlled.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 20/10/2020 18:14

Errol
You can certainly define 'Cis' without reference to men or women because it's got nowt to do with them. Cis has no connotation at all of moving or not. It means objects literally, spatially, being on the same side. That's all.

Ah, in the same way that 'gender' is properly defined as 'a set of classes that together include all nouns, membership in a particular class being shown by the form of the noun itself or by the form or choice of words that modify, replace, or otherwise refer to the noun,' without any gobbledegook about feelz.

(In Dutch the genders are 'common' and 'neuter'.)

jellyfrizz · 20/10/2020 18:10

I think I see what you are saying, my next question would be why is acceptance of trans people as trans invalidating or denying their existence? Surely it is the polar opposite yet those accusations are flung round with alarming regularity.

I don’t know, I don’t understand it either.

Like SunsetBeetch I think transphobia isn’t going to go away until trans people are accepted as trans people and that being ok.

Katgolde · 20/10/2020 18:10

If you identified as a cup of coffee, would you literally be one? If someone ordered a coffee in a cafe and got you on a tray instead, would it be 'phobic' to send you back and ask for the real coffee they ordered? If you identified as next door's cat would the neighbours be phobic if they did not let you in and give you cat food? Of course not. Same goes for transwomen pretending they are women. Be who you are, wear what you like, but don't claim something is true when it isn't.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2020 18:10

@lazylinguist

biology is only your outside part of your body not your skin but like your penis. whether you are man or woman depends on whether the inside of your body (eg your lungs and liver) aligns with your penis

Grin Of all the daft comments I've read about the biology/gender debate, that is definitely the silliest. Human beings are born as a complete item, not assembled from separate bits which may or may not 'match' or 'align' with each other.

I'm pretty sure that poster was indulging in reductio ad absurdum, not writing that seriously. But, Poe's law being what it is, it can be hard to tell..Grin
RuffleCrow · 20/10/2020 18:09

"Sex is only the outside of your body"

JFC.

I don't want to sound unkind but i do wonder sometimes whether we're engaging with (and perhaps being unduly harsh at times towards) people who would be benefit from some professional support to help them access this topic area in a meaningful way.

lazylinguist · 20/10/2020 18:08

"If you've met trans people, you know they pose zero risk to anyone else

What, you've met all of them? That's about as logical as saying "If you've met dogs, you know they don't bite people" or "If you've met women, you know they have long hair".

lazylinguist · 20/10/2020 18:06

biology is only your outside part of your body not your skin but like your penis. whether you are man or woman depends on whether the inside of your body (eg your lungs and liver) aligns with your penis

Grin Of all the daft comments I've read about the biology/gender debate, that is definitely the silliest. Human beings are born as a complete item, not assembled from separate bits which may or may not 'match' or 'align' with each other.

vesuvia · 20/10/2020 18:05

Dogsareus wrote - "If you've met trans people, you know they pose zero risk to anyone else."

Safeguarding rules should not be based on how lovely you think your friends are.

PostItJoyWeek · 20/10/2020 18:05

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CoffeeTeaChocolate · 20/10/2020 18:02

I would very much like to know how the transgender issue is benefiting girls in Wyoming.

I believe that a bill pushing back a ban on female genital mutilation was pushed back due to concerns from trans activists that minors would not be given sex reassignment?

I feel deeply sorry for the girls who are at risk for FGM, but maybe they don’t matter?

RedDogsBeg · 20/10/2020 17:52

@jellyfrizz

Why is it so hideous to accept transmen as transmen and transwomen as transwomen?

Actual transphobia.

How is it transphobia to accept trans people as trans?

I agree, it’s transphobic not to accept trans people as trans.

I was answering the question, actual transphobia makes it hideous to accept transmen as transmen and transwomen as transwomen?

I think I see what you are saying, my next question would be why is acceptance of trans people as trans invalidating or denying their existence? Surely it is the polar opposite yet those accusations are flung round with alarming regularity.
Katgolde · 20/10/2020 17:52

biology is only your outside part of your body

Wrong. All of your cells contain DNA with 23 pairs of chromosomes including the chromosomes XX (female) or XY (male). These were decided at conception and remain fixed throughout you life. The only exceptions are the sperm or egg cells because each parent provides one set of 23 chromosomes to make 23 pairs.

Winesalot · 20/10/2020 17:50

Are you going to share a report of your recent discussions with the Indian government summarising your plan for how they should solve the Indian rape crisis and how they have responded so far to your ideas

Good point vesuvia.

Also OP while you are answering my earlier question on what you have done to progress women's rights, maybe you should also include how it is helpful for activists to abuse and harass victims of FGM about using the term 'female genital mutilation' to describe the horror of what was done to their bodies?

You have seen that in your extensive reading on the conflicts of women's right haven't you? You do realise that even girls and women who have suffered such atrocities cannot talk about this without being shut down, and harassed off social media. Apparently, they do not have the right to discuss their trauma in a way that a) is helpful to them, b) enables accurate discussion of their needs and the need for protection and c) allows them to concentrate on getting something done.

And.... it is NOT actually women that are trying to silence them.

RedDogsBeg · 20/10/2020 17:45

The illogicality of this ideology is here in bucket loads.

Quaggers states that they accept no-one can change sex but that transwomen are women and a subset/part of the female sex category - BUT a transwomen's birth sex is male, that can't change therefore they must remain a subset/part of the male sex category.

SunsetBeetch · 20/10/2020 17:43

@jellyfrizz

Why is it so hideous to accept transmen as transmen and transwomen as transwomen?

Actual transphobia.

How is it transphobia to accept trans people as trans?

I agree, it’s transphobic not to accept trans people as trans.

I was answering the question, actual transphobia makes it hideous to accept transmen as transmen and transwomen as transwomen?

Oh I see.

I really think accepting trans people as trans is key to ^reducing' transphobia, as it will hopefully normalise being trans. And then trans people aren't so on edge about whether they pass or not, or if they're going to be outed.

Helmetbymidnight · 20/10/2020 17:42

Clearly you don't think it has anything to do with biology so what is it then?

biology is only your outside part of your body not your skin but like your penis. whether you are man or woman depends on whether the inside of your body (eg your lungs and liver) aligns with your penis.
and thats the key word aligns
so eg if your vulva aligns with the rest of your insides your a privileged cis.
amiright?

Winesalot · 20/10/2020 17:41

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