Disappointed in dh female manager

Similarly, women can be more suited to entering small, confined spaces than men, because we tend to be smaller and more flexible.

Men are stronger than women, and have very significantly more upper-body strength than women due to physiological differences between our sexed bodies. So it's fine for men to do more of the heavy lifting.

It is not comparable to making tea, because neither sex has a physical advantage in making tea.

It is not the same as being "asked to hold a baby, since you're a woman", as again, both sexes can equally well hold a baby. Gestating a baby, or breastfeeding a baby, on the other hand, requires female physiology. But men are just as capable of "holding" one.

It's about efficiency. Men can lift heavy things much more easily than women, so it makes sense to use the people who are best equipped for that job.

Sure, she's a sexist and a bad manager.
I'm still not really seeing what relevance this has to feminism though. It just seems like a fairly banal instance of Women Do It Too - the flip side of the equally tedious NAMALT.

He shouldn't so it just because he's a man. But I think it not being in his jd is a bit much. Surely we all have chipped in moving bits in the office or setting up a room for training or a conference?

This is very poor work practice.

Either the objects are so heavy that an average woman would struggle to lift them. In which case a proper risk assessment needs to be made. All the people involved in heavy lifting need training, and possibly protective equipment and/or lifting equipment. Some of the men may have hidden medical conditions which makes heavy lifting dangerous, and forcing them to disclose these conditions in front of their colleagues is all kinds of wrongs.

If the objects are light enough that the average woman could pick them up with little effort, then the manager is clearly being sexist. This kind of behaviour can be detrimental both to men and women. The men are burdened with the tedious job, but maybe another manager passing by would notice them "pulling their weight", and they're the one who'll get remembered for promotion, etc.
And again there's the fact you can't just bundle individual employees into "averages" based on their sex. Even for light lifting, some people may have conditions which make the task unsuitable. Using sex as a shortcut for physical ability is very poor practice. Even if yes, on average, the men can lift more, and the women may be pregnant, etc. People in the workplace must be treated as individuals, not stereotypical aggregates. Anything else is discrimination.

Of course it's wrong for jobs to be allocated based on stereotypes, but was his pay reduced? Was he harmed

You say that and the answer is no. But when a female employee is asked to do something like 'take minutes in a meeting - because she's better at it' or 'bake a cake - because she's a woman' that doesn't reduce pay or harm, but it does suddenly seem to discriminate against her, this isn't that much different. Just happens to be a man who's been asked based on him supposedly being better equipped.

Can you imagine if a car had been dropped off and he'd been asked to park it in a small space - because he's a man and can park better. I'm sure he'd have loved it but the women in the office would have been up in arms.

I find it quite difficult to take a complaint of sexism seriously from a person who uses the word "lady", to be honest.

Of course it's wrong for jobs to be allocated based on stereotypes, but was his pay reduced? Was he harmed? Or just a bit annoyed? I'd definitely file this under M for "Meh!".

So do the women in his office make tea for everyone.

She sounds a sexist knob tbh.

You can't lift a table or box? Really?

There are many objects my DH can lift which I can't. This is the usual pattern because humans are dimorphic.

Would you be ok with this as a one off thing if someone said to you "you can look after this baby because you're a woman". It's still sexist even if it happens once.

As with the example of tea making, men are not inherently less capable of looking after a baby.

It's difficult isn't it. I mean, on the one hand, if you've got a table that needs moving, it's easier and quicker to ask an employee to do it than it is to call in Pickford's; further, stands to reason that with a man and woman to choose from to do this you would ask the person with the bigger frame, longer limbs and 30% greater muscle mass ie the man.

On the other hand, your husband is not sufficiently robust as to start his own thread and speak for himself so therefore the line manage made a poor choice.

If he considers himself to have been treated less favourably on grounds of his sex he could raise a grievance with HR and get advice from ACAS as to how best to protect his rights if his employer does not respond well to this.

Why didn't he say no?

I understood it as she meant op.
That someone would go on a huff about so insignificant thing.

I mean apparenty even the husband is upset.
Seriously?

Things like what? One woman - who may or may not consider herself a feminist - asking a bloke to do a job he's probably more physically capable of?
If you think that makes the whole of feminism a joke you seem to have a rather shallow perception of what feminism is about.

Things like this are what make people think feminism is a joke nowadays

My husband can lift things better than me. I'm 5 foot tall, he's 6 foot and must stronger. I'm happy to lift what I can but he can physically lift much more than me. Some women are stronger than some men, but in general, men are larger and stronger. Obviously if your DH objects to lifting things as it's not his job he should raise this, but calling it sexist that he's being asked to in the first place is nonsense.

Making the tea is not remotely similar. Either sex is equally capable of making tea.

I wonder how much stereotyping this woman has been on the sharp end of, maybe on issues where there wasn't any conceivable inherent difference between her capabilities and a man's?

Sure, WDIT but get more castigation for it.

" 'because he's a man' "

Not acceptable these days. Either sex should be more than capable of shifting some tables and boxes. If they were that heavy then they should have some removal people in. If he hasn't had the appropriate training it puts the employer at risk if he hurts himself. Also just because he's a man don't assume he's not got some other issue. My DH's friend looks fit and healthy but is weak down his left side following an accident when he was much younger, much more suited to making the tea than shifting furniture.

we would all get the hump if we were told to MAKE THE TEA for a meeting as we were the sole female there (different if we were the most jumior person or if we were employed as receptionist)

Being told to lift things so heavy that a woman could not do it, is not really a sensible thing to do at work is it? Would need a few people to do, which could include men and women - someone needed to hold doors/work out how to get through the door at best angle. Unpack the desks to make easier to move. a team effort. Not just "some blokes"

one has to fight against gendered things like this a bit, even if it means you helping with the task.

(and at 6 foot tall, i am probably far stronger than some of the shorter men in our tech office)

I think if it’s a one-off it’s ok - especially if the things needing moving were heavy. It also depends who else was around to move them - ie was she saying it could only be a ‘man’s job’ even though there were plenty of women who could have done it? If so, that would be bad, but if not, I don’t think it would have bothered me.

Sometimes people season requests with little jokes, so perhaps she was just trying to be lighthearted and ironic?

It's tricky isn't it.

On the one hand you're absolutely right, it's shouldn't be as simple as "you men do the heavy lifting". (And it definitely shouldn't be just foisted on someone at work - that's how my dh managed to hurt his back a few years ago.)

On the other, men are usually more strong and muscly than women without even trying, there's no point pretending otherwise.

I don't think the kettle thing is analogous because men are capable of doing that as much as women. I'm sure there is an equivalent, I just can't think what it is.

Meh, I ask the men do the heavy lifting in work (they generally do it without asking anyway). They're a lot stronger than me 🤷‍♀️ and I caused a whole load of work for my line manager last time I tried to move something heavy and injured myself 😂

I would say just that, I’ll move the boxes you can get the kettle on with a big