Titles

I prefer simply my first name, but otherwise use Miss. I could use Dr or Mrs. I’m in my 40s.

I don’t imagine I’m young or single, and have experienced no confusion with my independence (I have not been supported by either the government or a partner at any stage in my life; every last bill has been paid by me since the age of 17).

I like the bluestocking spinster connotations.

I’m afraid I’m not terribly interested if others feel I’ve failed to grow up.....their mistake is of little concern to me. Most people of my age and education have grasped that ‘words mean things’.....and appreciate the historical connotations that connect me to generations of women whose primary pursuit was a career.

I lived in France for years before I got married, way back when Mademoiselle was the standard title for any woman under 25 (or thereabouts). After marriage, I styled myself as Madame husband's name or Mrs. After we divorced, I kept the Mrs husband's name for awhile but now use Ms. It's unnecessarily complicated, IMO. Ms makes it easy and is an obvious equivalent to Mr.

Miss was one of the things I hated about living in the UK. It's still on my UK bank cards from when I was in my 20s and 30s and it makes me shudder! I find it old fashioned and infantile. Much prefer the North American usage of Ms. though I'd also be perfectly happy if we used Mrs for all adult women, after the French fashion.

(Are adult women in Germany still called Fraulein? Surely not??)

Do we even need titles any more? I'm okay with the entire world using my names without adornment.

Because "Miss" as a title was originally developed for unmarried women during the 18th century (roughly; it didn't become a settled rule until about Austen's time). The traditional convention is that a woman who had been married but is now single again was known as Mrs Formerhusband's name.

If you are going to buy into an old-fashioned set of rules, as decribed above, then you really have to use "Mrs." If you are going to reject these old fashioned rules and go with modern practices, then you need to go Ms all the way. Trying to use "Miss" as a formerly married women or a married does not really satisfy either of these systems, and frankly I am not surprised that people are struggling a bit with it. They are probably thinking "She obviously meant to say "Ms" but her pronunciation is a bit off, so I'd better use Ms"--I know I would!

I have been Ms since I was 16 and as someone who lives outside the UK, I find it baffling how the UK continues to cling to Miss and Mrs. In most other English speaking parts of the world, they are falling out of use. For business purposes (and in most other contexts, let's face it, it's mostly first-names these days!) you use Ms unless the person has made it clear they use another title.

If I have to address someone in the UK and I don't know their title, I use Mrs for any married woman over about 65 (= my mum's friends, basically!) unless corrected, as I tend to assume that they probably prefer to use Mrs in most cases, but anyone under that age I'll use Ms as the default choice.

I really think Mrs and Miss need to die a gentle death. They serve no practical purpose, and it feels so impolite and judgmental to have to look at someone and have to start making judgments about how old they look and whether they "look" married or not.

I’m married but I use Ms because it’s the equivalent of Mr. Nothing about my marital status can be determined from Ms. As it should be.

Same here if I have to use a title (I manage to avoid it 99% of the time, as I sign off like many female professionals... F. Hand). Miss has always IME been an unmarried young woman (just into or before actual adulthood and before the journey of adult maturation) or a child while Ms. is a woman of any age of any marital status. It is almost like a rite of passage to move from Miss to Ms. (girl/young woman to woman) or Master to Mr. (boy/young man to man) - it conveys adulthood and independence.

Claiming Miss at 40yrs old while engaged to be married with intent to hold onto Miss once married seems like someone doesn't want to admit that they are not young and not single. You aren't young at 40yrs old you are mid-life (great age); and you aren't single. You also aren't 'old' at 40 as this is the beginning of your peak years from sexuality to career (in most cases). For posterity sake, once you are married you aren't a Miss - because words mean things. Once you are married you are Ms. or Mrs. (by definition) - your choice or none at all - but the definition of Miss has always included 'unmarried'. The title Ms. applies to mature women of any age irrespective of marital status.

OP, your 40s are the decade of IDGAF IMO. I am three years older than you and couldn't give any less fucks about how any random person describes me, what pronouns they use, or what title they think is right. If I don't feed them, fuck them, or work with them their opinion isn't relevant/important in the scope of my existence.

The insistence of Ms. over Mrs. makes sense to me - it disassociates our marital status from our names. Miss does the opposite it announces that that you are single i.e. unmarried, without a committed partner, etc.

Call yourself whatever obviously, but you asked and I am wasting time atm so there you have it.

I’m probably one of the people that struggles with the “Miss”. I think of Miss as little girls and Mrs as meaning adult women. That’s the original meaning for most of the history of the word. The meaning of married woman is a recent aberration IMO. In France now where they have standardised titles for women, and adult women are Madame. Mrs is the English equivalent.
But you can use Mx (men or women); Miss; Ms; or Mrs. I’d try to remember which you preferred.

I have no idea what I would do if I got married. I always assumed I'd become Mrs Hisname. But I also assumed I'd be married long before I was 36 . Clearly I'm too amazing to handle

I'm with you on that OP! I have a couple of acquaintances who insist I should be known as Miss as, in their words "your marital status is no one else's business so why should your name show that you've never been married?". To me that looks like I'm hiding it!* I've always been Miss and probably always will be. I'm 36 now and probably never going to get married anyway.

• I have no issue with women who chose to be Ms, but I don't want to be!

you should be what you want.
actresses are always Miss Gloria Smith, even if they are married to Mr Jones. let alone being divorced.
even in the old days, that style of address seemed to recognise the professional status of the actress herself. which remained, quite irrelevant whether she married or not.
or maybe it was because for simplicity; they couldn't keep up with all the various marriages some had eg elizabeth taylor !
what do people think about the Mx title? i haven't seen it used.

I’m married but I use Ms because it’s the equivalent of Mr. Nothing about my marital status can be determined from Ms. As it should be.