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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mermaids and the evolving understanding of gender identity.

313 replies

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 24/09/2020 20:11

Given recent events, I thought it would be interesting to trawl the Wayback Machine and see how the organisation has developed over time with regards to diagnosing children as transgender.

What is Gender Dysphoria?

2009
Gender Identity Disorders in infancy, childhood and adolescence are complex and have varied causes: in the majority of cases the eventual outcome will be homosexuality or bisexuality, but often there will be a heterosexual outcome as some gender issues can be caused by a bereavement, a dysfunctional family life, or (rarely) by abuse. Only a small proportion of cases will result in a transsexual outcome
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090307015630/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/gidca.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20090307015630/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/gidca.html

2010
Gender dyphoria, also known as Gender Identity Disorder, applies to someone who is unhappy with their biological sex and who wishes to belong to the other one.

Gender Identity is the sense of belief that "I am male" or "I am female". A child becomes aware of its gender identity before or around the age of five years, in many cases as early as 2 or 3 years of age. In most people their gender identity is the same as their sex, i.e. a woman or girl feels she is female and a man or boy feels he is male, but in a few people their gender identity and their sex do not match, and this can cause problems.

Gender Identity Issues vary considerably, some may be transient in nature, and some may not. They may arise when a child exhibits cross-gender behaviour to some degree or other. Some may be boys who prefer to take the female role or vice versa; others may have a compulsion to play with toys mostly used by the other sex (for instance, a boy who predominantly plays with dolls or a girl who always plays with action men and 'army toys'). Some children may only feel comfortable when playing with peers of the other physical sex, or may cross-dress from time to time.

Some children may be unhappy about their own biological sex and either wish to belong to the other one, or feel that they actually do; some adolescents may experience a crisis over a problem of gender identity or sexual orientation, or both. These situations can lead to considerable concern and distress for all those involved.
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20100718215911/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/New%20Mermaids/whatisgid.htm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20100718215911/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/New%20Mermaids/whatisgid.htm

2012
For example, your daughter may say that she wants to be a boy, or your son may identify himself as a girl. Or perhaps you are worried about your child's cross gender behaviour, but they won't discuss it with you, and instead are isolated and withdrawn.

Or it may be you, as a young person, and you feel that your body is wrong, and that you should have been a girl if you were born a boy, or a boy if you were born a girl.
(Added to 2010 description)
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20121109215055/mermaidsuk.org.uk/index.php/what-is-gender-dysphoria" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20121109215055/mermaidsuk.org.uk/index.php/what-is-gender-dysphoria

They seem to have removed their page about gender dysphoria sometime after 2016. However, we can glean some information about how to diagnose children from their parent testimonials

2019
"Kelly"
“From the age of two we started to notice that Evie didn’t quite fit in. I thought that my son was going to be gay, but it became apparent that there was something more than that.

“Evie always wanted to play with dolls, and never had any interest in traditional boys toys, like cars or dinosaurs. We had an older son and the two could not have been more different.

“Evie loved bracelets and constantly wanted to wear one, and when I bought the children Guess Who? to play she unclipped all the female faces and put them in a handbag to carry around with her.

“Evie would look longingly at other little girls who were wearing dresses or skirts, and every time I picked her up from the childminder she would be have raided the dressing up box for a princess costume. She would come to the door to meet me in a sparkly pink dress and a tiara with a big smile on her face.

“At other children’s houses she would love putting on the princess outfits, and would have a meltdown when she had to take them off as it was time to leave.
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190301090129/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/parents-voices.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190301090129/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/parents-voices.html

"Denise"
“We didn’t notice Sally having any particular problems or issues as she was growing up, but her primary school was very small and the classes were mixed together in infants, so there was no real distinction between boys and girls or age groups.

“But looking back I can see there were pointers. Sally always wanted to play with the dressing up box, and she always wanted to be a princess. She always wanted long hair too.
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190301090129/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/parents-voices.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20190301090129/www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/parents-voices.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/09/2020 17:31

Well this is confusing Hmm
mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/do-you-still-use-the-phrase-born-in-the-wrong-body/ ( archive.li/B46s0 )

We recently posted that ‘no child is born in the wrong body’, which is our broad position as a charity. Why? Because we believe that transgender people shouldn’t be expected or encouraged to reject their entire amazing, intelligent, beautiful, creative bodies, simply because of gender incongruity. Still, we also know some people – including some of our amazing patrons – do use that phrase to express who they are. It is your right to use whatever words you choose to describe yourself. As a charity representing lots of different people, however, we have to make sure our language is as inclusive as possible, especially for people who might be struggling with their gender.

Of course, the phrase is one we’ve used ourselves in the past and, at the time, it seemed helpful.

Model, campaigner and Mermaids patron, Munroe Bergdorf used to say she was born in the wrong body but then decided it wasn’t right for her

Film director and Mermaids patron, Jake Graf, is an extraordinary champion of trans young people, partly because he speaks so openly about his own journey. For him, language and understanding of trans identities has moved a long way over the last ten years and that’s something to be celebrated, but he still feels he was born in the ‘wrong’ body:

Still, and I cannot stress this enough, it is not for Mermaids or anyone else to instruct people on how to describe themselves and there is no judgement whatsoever if you feel it’s right for you to say you were born in the wrong body.’

As trans people, none of us became valid the day we had our surgeries or interventions so society needs to understand that we are trans because we’re trans not because of our bodies.’

That’s an important point. So often people fixate on bodies, rather than talking about people as complete individuals

The question of language and messaging is an important part of our work as a charity. We always do our best to stay attuned to our service users and supporters, and we don’t always get it spot on. Thankfully, we have junior and senior staff with lived experience who help to keep us right.

OP posts:
Kit19 · 25/09/2020 17:31

Maybe the UN had it wrong all along 🤔🤔 maybe rather than women being limitless & formless it’s trans ppl 😆

HPFA · 25/09/2020 17:25

This is an extraodinary read. No one validates my gender because no one even has the option of invalidating my gender.

www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/lgbt-transgender-trans-suffer-lockdown-18393677

TheElementsOfMedical · 25/09/2020 17:08

All the times we were told about being Born In The Wrong Body:

twitter.com/thespiralquirk/status/1309484475089383425?s=21

You almost have to admire the chutzpah of those saying "Well OF COURSE we never said people are "born in the wrong body".

Apart from: [Thread]

nauticant · 25/09/2020 17:04

It's another term that's been Humpty-Dumptied, and changed into an umbrella term wide enough not only to go from some degree of discomfort to crippling impairment, but also to embrace the euphemistic "gender euphoria".

TyroBurningDownTheCloset · 25/09/2020 17:04

Well, I certainly don't identify with the social construction of girlhood that's foisted on us by others from birth onwards. According to Mermaids I'm trans.

They'd make a lot more sense if they jettisoned the word 'gender' and explained in plain English.

'Gender dysphoria' is the function-crippling inability to meet the behavioural and presentational requirements our society attaches to our sex.

Perfectly easy to understand. To reduce it to "being uncomfortable" is like calling debilitating depression "being a bit sad". And reducing it to an identity renders any analysis of the causes off-limits.

Thingybob · 25/09/2020 16:55

Here's Mermaids' current position on their website:

‘gender dysphoria’ is the uncomfortable feeling some people get when their gender is different from the one they were given at birth.

Except that is wrong. Gender dysphoria is a psychiatric condition as defined in DSM5. It is used by NHS clinicians at gender clinics and it's a condition that requires "clinically significant distress or impairment" so not just an "uncomfortable feeling"

MondayYogurt · 25/09/2020 16:47

@RoyalCorgi

I feel the advent of the medical negligence solicitors could be the beginning of the end for this whole Stonewall-Mermaids-Gires gravy train. Doctors will be much more cautious about doing surgical or hormonal reassignment if they know they can be sued. Is it possible that some detransitioners will also sue Mermaids for giving them bad advice?
Roll on some group litigations.
AbsintheFriends · 25/09/2020 16:42

'gender dysphoria’ is the uncomfortable feeling some people get when their gender is different from the one they were given at birth.

But since no one has ever been given a gender at birth, this is as flimsy and ridiculous as all their other definitions

nauticant · 25/09/2020 16:41

If I was made to translate this into something comprehensible it would be that someone's sex is according to whichever sexed body they have, as seen at birth or before, and gender dysphoria is that they feel themselves to be a boy gendered entity in a girl's sexed body or vice versa.

How that fits into "No child is born in the wrong body" is another mystery.

RoyalCorgi · 25/09/2020 16:38

I feel the advent of the medical negligence solicitors could be the beginning of the end for this whole Stonewall-Mermaids-Gires gravy train. Doctors will be much more cautious about doing surgical or hormonal reassignment if they know they can be sued. Is it possible that some detransitioners will also sue Mermaids for giving them bad advice?

nauticant · 25/09/2020 16:38

Here's Mermaids' current position on their website:

‘gender dysphoria’ is the uncomfortable feeling some people get when their gender is different from the one they were given at birth.
...
If you gender identity matches the one you were given at birth that’s called “cisgender”.

Which means that "trans" is when someone's gender identity doesn't match the gender they were given at birth.

Also from the website, "gender" appears to be defined as whether you’re a boy or a girl, based on the way your body looks. Although I didn't find a definition of "gender identity" I suppose it's whether someone feels themselves to be a boy or a girl. (How that fits in with hundreds of "genders" is a mystery.)

They appear to be using the Judith Butler approach of making their position so incomprehensible they can make it mean anything they want it to.

FloralBunting · 25/09/2020 16:19

How long before the TRAs start denounicing reassignment surgery as an unnecessary medical procedure forced on trans people by the 'oppresive' cis medical establishment?

We're way past that. Like most things in TRA ideology, this one is a paradox. They want access to cosmetic procedures to change their physical appearance for the sake of achieving gender euphoria and anyone who suggests that someone needs to change their body is a transmedicalist gatekeeping bigot and we all need to recognize the existence of the female penis.

These paradoxes largely occur because 'Trans' is not one thing, it's a conglomeration of disparate causes and motivations, and the shifting nature of TRA arguments to piggyback on whatever cause gives them the best leverage for whatever they're pressing for at that moment.

ItalianHat · 25/09/2020 16:04

All about how "born in the wrong body" was a simplified explanation for people

You see, I can sort of understand the dysphoria around your body. I think most women can - we live in a culture which pressures girls & women's bodies in almost every way.

But the binary deluded thinking that if you're not happy in a male body, then you must of course"really" be female is odd. How do you know?

I think that you can feel that your body's "wrong" - but I don't think you can then automatically know what that a different body would feel "right."

Whatwouldscullydo · 25/09/2020 16:04

If that kind of thinking takes hold I can really see them turning on Susie for transitioning Jackie

Would also remove the last of the "ammo"

I mean if they don't need surgery or the clothes or the hair and make up then just how can people identify them as trans to beat them up in a toilet ir bully them to the point of being suicidal...

I mean no one would know would they.
You really would be seen once and for all to be lobbying for bots and meb to have access to all womens spaces and opportunities based on what they say that cant be defined

HPFA · 25/09/2020 16:03

@NotDavidTennant

I saw on a Twitter thread that some trans people are now saying that the transition is wrong because it's conforming to cis heteronormativity.

If that kind of thinking takes hold I can really see them turning on Susie for transitioning Jackie.

Sometimes I think I should just give money to the crowdfunders and stop trying to engage in the debate at all. It just makes your head ache.

I mean, people are telling you that you're a horrible bigot and reactionary and want trans people to die but when you ask a simple question like "what does it mean to be a woman if it doesn't mean biology or stereotypes or behaviour" they can't answer. How can they claim that people's identity as a woman is so important to them that they'll die if you don't affirm it but at the same time it's a totally meaningless word and they might as well identify as a table?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 25/09/2020 16:01

Surely Mermaids have to be very careful here - what happens when parents who have transitioned their children on advice from Mermaids read that Mermaids are now saying that they never said these things. How are these parents going to feel?

OP posts:
NotDavidTennant · 25/09/2020 15:55

I saw on a Twitter thread that some trans people are now saying that the transition is wrong because it's conforming to cis heteronormativity.

If that kind of thinking takes hold I can really see them turning on Susie for transitioning Jackie.

Melroses · 25/09/2020 15:43

@Melroses

Same here. Instead of being blue or pink, she was silver foil that reflects light. I don't know how anyone can take it seriously. I certainly wouldn't put it out as a promotional film.

Brilliant - this sounds as good as the dimmer switch spectrum - must watch!

I got past the silver foil, but it was doing my head in so I stopped.
HPFA · 25/09/2020 15:30

@NotDavidTennant

There is a logical consequence to all this that I don't think is going to play out very well for Susie Green. If trans is not about being born in the wrong body and not about gender dysphoria, then what is the purpose of reassignment surgery?

How long before the TRAs start denounicing reassignment surgery as an unnecessary medical procedure forced on trans people by the 'oppresive' cis medical establishment?

I saw on a Twitter thread that some trans people are now saying that the transition is wrong because it's conforming to cis heteronormativity.
RedDogsBeg · 25/09/2020 15:30

[quote HPFA]And now we have a firm of solicitors actively touting for business. These people can smell blood.

www.attwatersjamesonhill.co.uk/medical-negligence/transgender-treatment/?fbclid=IwAR34PYnrwGC-UhDHVbgHxLNIZYlgXpSInALxtOxTbWDnn5sQug1F1-pu0dg[/quote]
Once the sharks in suits start circling you know it's game over.

Datun · 25/09/2020 15:16

Don't forget they wanted the immediate release of all trans prisoners as well.

And they were asked to submit evidence and testimonials for the government's transgender equality report.

Dear lord.

Datun · 25/09/2020 15:14

It's not two minutes since Action on Trans Health in Edinburgh was demanding that trans people were given free training so they could operate on themselves.

Oh dear, that's just made me absolutely lose it. 🤣

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 25/09/2020 15:11

It's not two minutes since Action on Trans Health in Edinburgh was demanding that trans people were given free training so they could operate on themselves. edinburghath.tumblr.com/post/163521055802/trans-health-manifesto

I've just seen a desperate attempt on Twitter to explain the BITWB phrase as best avoided because we wouldn't be rude enough to say that someone was BITWB if they needed an operation for any other reason, e.g. gallstones, I suppose. Dear me.

Melroses · 25/09/2020 15:08

Same here. Instead of being blue or pink, she was silver foil that reflects light. I don't know how anyone can take it seriously. I certainly wouldn't put it out as a promotional film.

Brilliant - this sounds as good as the dimmer switch spectrum - must watch!