Pronouns at work - where do I stand? Advice

It's just reared it's ugly head at my work. 'Consultation'

I've told my boss all the arguments above. I suspect she's old skool and will resist. If we are forced, I'm theoretically agender and will be saying so.

I like to tell people that I perform femininity because of the patriarchy and if they choose to interpret that as compliance in c*s identity, that's their prejudice.

Do you have to say anything. this happened at my workplace earlier this summer. About 3 people added pronouns. Everybody else ignored it. Never been mentioned since.

If forced, I was going to but me/my/mine

That doesn’t make much sense. The vast majority of emails have names at the foot and the vast majority of names tell you what the sex of the sender is.

The evidence has been posted below.

Of course some names are typically male/female but not all.

When a name is "generic" the responses presume the person is male and act differently (with more positivity) than to a female.

Believe it or not your name matters and reinforcing women to state their pronouns is an issue.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/gender-inequality-man-woman-switch-names-week-martin-schneider-nicky-knacks-pay-gap-a7622201.html%3famp

I understand you feel pressure, but try to not ket them see that. You might be light, breezy, smiley and let it wash over you whilst you say no to it. If they sense that you're uncomfortable, they will see it as more of an issue. You don't have to explain why. Just don't do it or say a simple 'no'. Try pretending that you are the owner of the company and that these policies din't apply to you.

If that fails, say that you find the assumptions that someone would want to declare their pronouns on work emails the same as declaring someone's sexuality on their work emails. What if the person is working through personal issues? What if they're not ready to 'come out' with their gender yet? Even to say you're non binary or gender fluid would be outing you before you're ready.

I fucking bet you that if you say that with enough sincerely, they will slowly back away and hopefully shut up about it!

I think this is particularly good:

'I was keen on this voluntary initiative but I am unhappy with the pressure being applied which implies that not adding pronouns will be seen negatively - there are lots of reasons someone might have to not choose to do so and I dislike them feeling compelled or under pressure. Therefore respectfully I am going to decline.'

And this is particularly relevant:
I'm not being facetious when I say this is outing and they could be in trouble for insisting on it. Of course it's great for people who want to have the chance to declare their pronouns.

For others, it's akin to announcing your transgender status, which is something that the law sees as so private, there are separate DBS check processes to avoid anyone knowing, Girl Guide leaders are not allowed to tell other parents that people attending sleepover events have transgender status (have a biological sex different to their female gender), etc.

You would be in breach of the law if you 'outed' someone as transgender, which it seems like they're intent on doing if they insist.

"He's coming in, ready or not!"

If you identify as he/him/his in your compelled pronouns, don't forget to barge into the Gent's three times a day, shouting, "He's coming in, ready or not!"

If challenged, say you're exercising your human right to use the facilities that best fit your gender identity. They'll need to check the rules on this which might be useful in future.

I'd be coughing and grumbling about the stench and spraying floral air freshener around on every visit. If you introduce some pretty handtowels and bunches of naff plastic flowers for the windowsill, I think you'll find the demand for pronouns soon does a death.

Fight fire with fire.

Another good one is that stating your pronouns in your signature is personal data that is protected by GDPR as sensitive data.
When you leave the company, how is the company going to ensure all emails sent in your business capacity with the signature with personal sensitive data, is going to be wiped, as mandatory under European Privacy laws? The right to be forgotten.

Or ask them to explain completely what is meant by gender, please.

"I'm really not happy for my gender to be outed in this way"

I reckon in emails, the pronouns I use most are I/me/mine/we/our/ours and you/your/yours. I do use it/them a lot, but that's mostly referring to hardware or applications or processes.

I have tried to explain to some of my colleagues whose mother tongues are not English, that they should use Ms as a default title for women, but they mostly get confused, because they're used to using Madame/Señora/Frau, which everyone gets taught is Mrs in English.

No one has so far suggested we add pronouns to emails, and I haven't seen it, but I rarely read signatures anyway. We did recently a mail saying we should refer to master/slave hardware configurations as primary/secondary, and also connector pairs should be inner and outer, not male and female.

In the great scheme of things it is such a strange thing to be so obsessed with and for people to lobby so hard for.

We don’t have to disclose our marital status if we don’t want (I’ve never been made to choose Miss it Mrs) not sexual orientation, religion etc. These things are all pretty personal and of no relevance on the office.

You know the things you need to know - deathly allergy to nuts? Relevant
A very religious visitor coming in who can’t’ talk to/shake hands with women? Relevant
Have a disability that means you need something to help? Relevant
Just been diagnosed with leukaemia and are having chemo - well possibly relevant (maybe down to the individual to disclose).

What is the role of the people in the meetings asking you to think about it? Are they peers or LGBT reps? It's really bizarre for people at work to single out one issue they are obsessed with and browbeat people into participation.

I guarantee you most people will ignore this and it will just fizzle out. I work at a university full of trans obsessed people and I've only seen pronouns about 4 times .

If I become pressured to add pronouns, I will just say I find it triggering and do not want to talk about it. They're not to know that I don't want to talk about it as it would trigger me to say exactly what I think of all this bollocks.
I'm hoping to retire in around 8 years so just need to plod along till then.

I anticipate it at my public sector place. I intend to ignore.

As others have said, this whole trend is extremely pernicious and the absence of a ‘prefer not to say’ option is deeply troubling. If you don’t have authority in your workplace I’d go for something like:
“I applaud the wish to create an inclusive environment for all, but I don’t feel ready/safe to discuss my gender identity publicly and this request makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel that continued requests to divulge personal and private information about myself is bordering on harassment and if they continue, I will be obliged to turn to HR/the union for support.”

Obviously – for those of us with a bit of clout in our workplaces or who have nothing to lose – I think it’s really important to point out the problems with the request more robustly and without implying that you actually have one!

But however we do it, I think it is important that we voice our concerns as best we can. We must make plain to our employers and work teams that demands/wheedling requests for compliance with a pronouns policy are problematic and we can only do this if we speak up and say so.

Me / Myself / I

Call me what you like, I don't care.

And yes, I'd enquire about impact assessment, GDPR, confidentiality issues, and liken it to being forced to publicly state my sexual preferences, religion etc.

Failing that level of bravery (how sad is that?) I'd just ignore it, change nothing, say nothing.

There is/was a police officer with two warrant cards (just 2 genders, funny I thought there was supposed to be more)?

That’s not so outlandish. There have been people that use both and I’m not certain if it’s set days of the week or decided in a day by day basis.

Philip Bruce is an example of that. He is Philip on some days, then identifies as Pips on other days. Just in case I’m reported by the wokes, I’m not ‘misgendering’ because I used the correct pronouns when referring to Philip, as he also recognises his maleness on some days.

Personally I’d steer away from the Yogyakarta principles as they are nonsense and I wouldn’t give them any creedence.

Also, I think a valid response which is just a watered down extension of "sex based like my oppression" is:

Personally I like my pronouns to indicate my sex not my gender. My name indicates this already and I have never had any issues so I'm comfortable without stating pronouns. Also, I'm not concerned by how people refer to me in my absence. I can show solidarity with people who do want to state their pronouns by using their preferred pronouns, I don't think stating my own adds anything.

I would make a point of outing their passive aggression as bullying.

And I would actually want to highlight that not only do I want to opt out, but that I find it offensive myself when people who are not trans or nb add pronouns to their sig. It's gaslighting. A woman for example who is clearly a she and there has never been a problem with that. So why is she pretending I need to be told her pronouns? She is already likely to be facing sexism from people who have never met her if she has an obviously female name. She was chosen for that without having to declare she's female. Why does everyone need to theatrically pretend to be confused just because a tiny minority of others are? Humans are incredibly adept at identifying sex from infancy. This is just an exercise in overwriting sex with gender by stealth, telling everyone it's just being kind and the next thing you know you aren't allowed single sex spaces.

I volunteer at a domestic violence charity and my new manager has pronouns in her sig. I am very close to writing to her explaining how the ideology she has espoused is in direct contravention to advocating against male violence against women and girls.