The NHS is run by misogynists, say women forced to give birth alone

It's a disgraceful policy and I didn't even realise it was happening. Fuming. How do we find out if it's our local hospital? Or just write to our MPs?

"I could go on but what's the point, everyone needs support. If we start a campaign for child birth, for parents with seriously ill children, for people with relatives dying and on and on and on none of them will be as strong as a combined campaign for appropriate support for everyone."

This is whataboutery and it's silly.
You could say it about everything.
The fact is that people campaign about single issues that they care about, and sometimes those campaigns are powerful precisely because they are focused on a single issue.
I'm surprised I'm having to point this out on the feminism boards, of all places.

@Getbettersoon I hope that your husband is ok

On the actual topic I had a lockdown baby, and I could not agree more that these restrictions ought to be eased. My husband has had a negative covid test As a condition purely of being allowed into the operating theatre for my Caesarean. However I was lying paralysed on the postnatal ward, unable to pick up my baby, unable to change or dress my baby, and unable to move into a comfortable position in order to try to breastfeed my baby. This had a significant impact on my postnatal experience. And everything went well for me, I can’t imagine what it would be like for somebody who had had a traumatic birth.

It's quite unnerving to think that at one of the most vulnerable times in your life you are not allowed your partner in with you (start to finish) to support you and advocate for you when you might not be able to.

It does feel like the abandonment of women

Giving birth is different because its more than one life/ person involved.

My DF received a cancer diagnosis and treatment alone during Covid. He’s an adult, he understood why that needed to happen and was stoic in facing it. He only had to worry about himself and his only priority in that situation was himself!

When it comes to labour and giving birth even he was appalled when I told him this was happening ‘that not right at all’ he tutted.

Women are patients and so are their babies, if the woman is prioritising herself as other patients are, who is there to care for the baby in those first few hours? It’s not the midwives... the short staffed wards where they only appear if you buzz them.

No other patient in the hospital is being expected to care for another person whilst also caring for themselves. It’s Absolutely not the same and sorry but DH is an intensive care Dr... UK hospitals are not being overwhelmed and are not any more stretched currently than they were pre CV. Sorry to burst all you misogynists bubbles

Oh and midwives and other health professionals can suffer from traumatic events

www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/traumatised-midwives-traumatised-women

@ancientgran One of the issues is the long term impact of women suffering birth trauma, not only does it impact the woman it can impact her family and her baby.

About 30,000 women a year, according to the most recent research, experience birth trauma in the UK.

www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/#

I didn't find giving birth one of the most difficult things that I've done.

And other women do.

It doesn't have to be either or and I wish we could look at how hospitals are for everyone. Women go into hospital for other things as well so why the focus just on giving birth.

I didn't find giving birth one of the most difficult things that I've done. I could list a few if it helps:
Sitting by my mother as she died
Watching my child having a GA and waiting for the outcome of the operation and then waiting for the growth to be analysed before finding out it wasn't cancer
Seeing a close relative saying the long goodbye with dementia

I know other people who have coped with things I can't imagine how I'd cope with, a baby they thought was healthy being diagnosed with a condition that means they will never walk, talk or do any of the things we all hope our children will do, a child going missing and never being found (the ultimate nightmare for me) or a partner dying.

I could go on but what's the point, everyone needs support. If we start a campaign for child birth, for parents with seriously ill children, for people with relatives dying and on and on and on none of them will be as strong as a combined campaign for appropriate support for everyone.

For the record, the #Butnotmaternity campaign was not started by the Tory MP, she is just supporting it. I believe it was started by the Doula Directory and it has received widespread media coverage and support from MPs and others.

www.thedouladirectory.com/butnotmaternitycampaign

The list of rules and restrictions for each NHS trust is here
drive.google.com/file/d/1LwCyr2pZk24LIGzdPUDM6RYCC_Nss1b-/view

You make it sound like all the current restrictions mean only women have cut a bad deal which is bull. You call it misogyny but there are current problems for anyone using a hospital. Someone on there own being told they are dying is IMO just as awful as a women being told she is miscarrying. Being a man Or woman and being given horrific news should not be downplayed because they aren’t giving birth.

"Personally I don’t like vaginal examinations or membrane sweeps, or induction of labour and agree that 4cm isn’t a magic number. But this isn’t a Covid specific Issue."

It was always an issue before covid, but covid has made it worse, precisely because of the rule about birth partners only being allowed when in "active labour", which necessitates defining active labour. Of course there are other ways to determine whether a woman is in active labour or not. But women giving birth (especially for the first time) don't necessarily know that, and may not have the confidence to decline the VE and request other means of assessment.

I gave birth to my two children in the late seventies without my husband being present, that's just how it was then.

@Yes, they have convinced some to change but I need to find a list. There’s not one in the article

That’s good news. I agree with some women having abandonment issues, and suffering from trauma. However I honestly believe the restrictions have been positive for a lot of women, it’s meant less visitors which some women find difficult to deal with especially if they’ve had a traumatic experience, and sometimes partners can contribute to women’s anxieties as they also feel responsible for their partners feelings

Yeah it’s birth partners so not strictly men. I’d imagine that among some groups of expectant mums (eg young teenage girls) that having their mother there is more common than the dad. Or women who have just come out of abusive relationships (and may also have sexual abuse trauma)

this essentially means that women are being coerced into vaginal examinations.

Yes this is another thing that has been picked up on as concerning. Essentially it’s ‘let this person put their fingers in your vagina or you won’t be allowed your birth partner in here to support you’

In fact I feel that the restrictions on birth partners has been positive for some women, especially for those in abusive relationships.