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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

News from the Changing Room

65 replies

FairytaleofBykerGrove · 15/09/2020 11:16

Just a bit of good news. A lot of you gave me great advice earlier in the year when my daughter was told there would be a male pupil who ‘is a girl’ in her communal changing room for swimming, just before lockdown.

Today I had a long meeting with the head teacher who listened patiently to all my concerns, wrote them down and then asked me if I would contribute to a school policy, to think about what it should include and to get back to her. She said she will bring in someone with an opposing view and see if we can find middle ground.

She also said I mentioned things regarding swimming that she hadn’t considered, and that it seemed likely that a new arrangement would have to be made. Overall I feel it was a very positive meeting. So thanks again to all who contributed and helped me clarify my thoughts on the matter.

OP posts:
AlbusSirius · 15/09/2020 12:55

Bloody hell, you're in Ireland. You're probably screwed so. Did you not realise that self-id has been operating in Ireland for years without a single problem, not one [sarcastic]

Your only hope is to find out how the parents of the other girls think, and demand a changing room for the group of girls that don't want to share with a boy. How old are they by the way?

If it's a block of just a few weeks swimming like many schools do, I would pull my daughter out.

SophocIestheFox · 15/09/2020 12:46

Good on you, fairytale! Proper, direct action to uphold girls privacy and dignity.

FairytaleofBykerGrove · 15/09/2020 12:31

She had never heard of Mermaids. I gave her the Transgender Trend website. I expect the other person will be another parent or a teacher.

I sought legal advice last month and was told there was no legal right to a single sex space (I am in Ireland). A lawyer would have to argue that the arrangements were “objectively justifiable” or not. The swimming pool themselves allow people to choose their own changing room. I believe there could be grounds for a legal objection but I do not have the time/strength/money to pursue this.

The opposing view is (I assume) that having a gender identity is equal to/more important than having a sexed body.

Ultimately I have made her think about the girls, which was my intention. I also criticized the ‘be kind’ motto constantly pumped out to the children and she listened to that too, and said she understood.

She seemed reluctant to put a policy in place. I said I thought they ought to have one.

OP posts:
CasuallyMasculine · 15/09/2020 12:25

Schools do have to work to the Children Act and the Equality Act 2010, as well as fulfilling their public sector equality duties.

But many have been Stonewalled, so they have been misled about what these laws mean in practice in a school setting.

I have personally been told by someone working for the Sex Education Forum, a charity which advises schools on RSE, that lining infant children up to go home with boys in one line and girls in another would be “problematic”.

JaneAustenWouldHateThis · 15/09/2020 12:11

Am I unusual in thinking it odd that schools (apparently) get to make these decisions ad hoc and on the hoof as it were?

As opposed to there being an actual law that they'd be breaking if they didn't follow the rules like all other schools were...

This can't be best practice.

CasuallyMasculine · 15/09/2020 12:09

Why would they need someone with an opposing view? It’s about safeguarding. No-one should have an opposing view about that.

LittleCabbage · 15/09/2020 12:07

Well done 🌟

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/09/2020 12:06

They might wheel in Jelly Baby Jan from Mermaids or similar.

DialSquare · 15/09/2020 12:04

Well done. Many people do not consider the full implications. I bet the opposing view will not have much substance.

ChakaDakotaRegina · 15/09/2020 12:01

Well done!

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/09/2020 11:56

Well done Thanks yes agree, be prepared to refute dodgy stats.

AlbusSirius · 15/09/2020 11:55

Well done, but I would be concerned who the "someone with an opposing view" is, and I would ask for advance notice as to which group they are representing.

That way, you can go prepared. The other person may well arrive with questionable self harm and suicide figures, incorrect legal advice etc.

Also, I would refuse to get into a discussion if the other person is the parent of the child involved. This is not personal. You are not objecting to this child, or suggesting that this child will do anything harmful on purpose, it's the policy in general you want looked at.

NonnyMouse1337 · 15/09/2020 11:48

Fantastic work! It must have been nerve wracking and intimidating, but you did it. Smile

Kit19 · 15/09/2020 11:45

well done Fairy! That's brilliant

langclegflavoredbananamush · 15/09/2020 11:43

Well done! This kind of action is the rubber hitting the road, really.

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