"They've made two girls unhappy to make one boy happier."

This happened to me at school! It hasn’t scarred me or anything, but I still remember the injustice!

I was sensible, my best friend was also, we were split so I could sit next to a naughty boy and be a “good influence”. He was gross. He used to loudly fart on purpose to get a reaction, and pick his nose and wipe it on the table near me.

I have no memory of whether or not I was a “good influence”, but I missed sitting next to my friend!

I remember this from my day, I don't think I managed to positively influence a single badly behaved person I was paired with

I have a couple of friends who moved their kids for this reason. No sooner would one kid calm down then they would hand her another one and it started all over again.

Teachers were thrilled at their easier to handle class. Meanwhile the child was in tears at home every day ...

In dds case the teachers got bloody greedy and sandwiched her between 2

She was small at 10/11 so they were alot bigger than her and they just shouted at eachother through her ears and she had to work on her lap as tgey took up all the space

Teacher did this to me in year 5. Put me next to the worst behaved boy because I was a clever, nice girl. He whispered and jiggled and irritated me until one day I went absolutely ballistic and stood up and screamed and screamed at him in front of the whole class. The angriest outburst of my whole life. May have hit him with a softish book, but it was all a red blur. An extremely unexpected thing for me to do. I remember the frozen horror while they all watched. I was very surprised that I didn't actually get into trouble. I like to think that both he and the teacher were better for the fright they got. He was moved, and next year (same teacher) we sat in ability groups, which was much better. I certainly was better for realizing that I could also be BAD sometimes and tell penis-owners to fuck the hell off.

I remember this from my day, I don't think I managed to positively influence a single badly behaved person I was paired with. I'd just do my own work as best I could in that situation.

There's far to many schools doing this whoke boy girl boy girl seating plan thing for it to be a coincidence

Absolutely.

My PGCE was in computer science, my first placement there were no girls in the GCSE classes, in my second about 1/3 of the class were girls.

The girls were all in girl boy girl boy arrangements, when I was allowed to do my own seating plan I put them all together because all the boys at some time had been next to another boy but the girls had not.

Then deal with the bully surely ? Not pass them on to another child?

I think I'd want to hear the teacher's perspective on this. Are you quite sure that your daughter and her friend were working together well? Girls are perfectly capable of being disruptive when working with their mates. And perhaps the boy was being bullied and it was felt that he needed a break from that?

Whatever way round it is surely the behaviour needs dealing with? As in actually properly dealt with. Not hidden or absorbed by placing select children who will keep quiet and do whatever the teachers ask of them without question.

By yr 5/6 they really dont give a crap about reflection rooms and surely by then you have basically run out of kids who's parents haven't had enough of their kid being prevented from doing their work and asked to have them moved?

I often do a boy/girl seating plan to begin the year - not to get girls sitting next to boys, but so that all are in a position where they are less likely to go off task because they are distracted by friends.

I absolutely agree about not using compliant girls to absorb any bad behaviour - I have one such DD myself and it worries me - but in small classrooms with limited options for seating plans, it would be madness to group those together who may be looking for opportunities to play up and go off task. They are separated, which means they have to sit next to focused students. In my classroom, the sex of said focused student is irrelevant.

Your DD learning would be much more disrupted if there wasn’t a seating plan and everyone sat next to a friend- equally they would spend for ever after each break trying to work out where to sit, and the shy quiet child would stand there not knowing where to sit and would look embarrassed and sad.

Like I’ve said 3 Times but no one seems to want to read, it isn’t just the hard working girls being sat by disruptive boys.... it works both ways. Lots of hard working clever boys sit next to more disruptive girls, but I guess as this is the feminist board people aren’t willing to accept that. Trust me- I see it daily.

Its happening to my daughter. paired with a "naughty boy," but when asked to do maths with cubes and show their results everytime he batted it away so it looked like she/they hadn't done any work :(

I can see why private schoolsn hrive if they can actually get on with their work.

I think boy/girl is sad too. I worked much better and happier as a child if sat with a friend as it was a shared experience and I wasnt anxious about the person next to me. As an adult I still prefer a conference or work training if Im there with a friend...

The theory behind it is it helps both the more able child - in this case you daughter - and the weaker student

No, it just holds the more able child back and the weaker student copies their work without learning anything. How do I know this? I know this because I’m a primary school teacher. I do my very best not to use girls as buffers because of the societal expectations on women to act as buffers for men in general and because I know so many other teachers will do it. It’s difficult if you have a girl-heavy class. Generally I switch the children around frequently so that no one has to put up for too long with being next to a child who is very hard to work next to. That’s inclusion for you ... and don’t think I’m being mean to the latter either - the less they annoy other children, the less they will be ‘othered’.

@malloo

Because girls often behave better so they're sent in to moderate the bad behaviour of boys

That just isn’t true. Most the kids in my classes with major behaviour needs are girls

It might not be a girl/boy thing..... but it probably is. Because girls often behave better so they're sent in to moderate the bad behaviour of boys, DD is one of them. I have every sympathy with teachers who are doing a difficult and stressful job but that doesn't make it ok. Imagine how far and fast they would progress if we let the quiet well behaved girls get on with their work instead of holding them back to the level of the worst behaved boys? I don't agree with private schools but sometimes I wonder if I would send DD to a girls school if I had the money. That isn't the solution of course, the real issue is what is going on in our society that means girls are conditioned to be quiet and well behaved and boys are not.

Obviously if I had violent children or attempts at bullying I will modify this and try to sit on their own. You have to find a solution that works for the majority which is not always all 30 children

So having admitted you pick the quieter children to place the more disruptive kids next to, how do you keep on top of the bullying when these quieter ones are far less likely to say anything?

Sounds a bit like you are happy for there to be collateral damage as you know you can't keep everyone happy anyway.

Not saying that's what you meant but it is the quiet kids that often end up in this situation and that means they could well be tolerating all sorts

Back in the mists of time when I was in reception, I used to be desperately anxious to get to school early (which didn't always happen as I had 2 younger siblings).

If I didn't then someone called Barry used to sit in my place.

I was on a separate table with three others, as because of demographics etc, we had been at school a term longer than the rest of our year group. There was me, Elizabeth, Jackie and Richard.

Apparently Richard needed a friend to sit next to because he was the only boy .

I ended up next to Tina who was quite a bit younger and not much company (sorry Tina x).

It changes the dynamic of the class. I teach Y2 and have moved seats around nearly everyday to try and create an environment which is the most conducive to learning. I've moved one very chatty boy four times and have finally found a seat where he's not going to turn around or shout out as much thus disrupting the whole class and slowing everything down. Yes that has involved being beside the quieter girls and boys but they're still working hard. I don't think my prime consideration when seating is the social connections of every child and whether X is sitting beside their bff. Playtime is for time with your mates. Obviously if I had violent children or attempts at bullying I will modify this and try to sit on their own. You have to find a solution that works for the majority which is not always all 30 children.

It really doesn't help the more able child - studies have repeatedly shown this. The reason grammar schools are a huge issue is that if you take away the more able kids the others sink lower because they're not "pulled up" by the bright kids. The bright kids do better because they're not "pulled down" by the less bright kids.

So really more of the expectation of females to put others first?

No because the pairing works both ways, I pair hard working sensible boys with ‘less able’ more distracted girls

How exactly is it helping the more able child?

lnstead of able children relying on each other they have to use their abilities to help less able.. So teaching them to be relied on and not rely on others? So really more of the expectation of females to put others first?

Yes its clearly happened enough for her to have noticed it and feel confident to point it out.

There's far to many schools doing this whoke boy girl boy girl seating plan thing for it to be a coincidence and therefor already pre decided that boys will be a pain in the arse which I'm sure fir some is a self fulfilling prophecy and it isn't good fir the boys either to not he set higher expectations, and that the girls will just absorb it. Taking full advantage if the fact that girls don't speak up .

Sorry I'm.on.your side op just trying to explain that parents aren't usually that precious they expect their kids to he sat next to heir friends all the time, so clearly its a behaviour management thing ajd that's not what kids are there for. To absorb bad behaviour even when when it's to their detriment