"They've made two girls unhappy to make one boy happier."

@sashh
That sounds really good thanks. I will definitely look into it. DS’s P5 teacher was the first teacher who ‘got’ him. DS would empty the contents of his school bag onto the table, find what he needed, then try to work on top of all the crap! His teacher got him into the habit of just one pencil and one sheet of paper/book. It took time but it kind of uncluttered his brain at the same time as his desk. He was a great teacher and I was grateful he put the time and effort in with DS as it was a large and ‘energetic’ class!

To be fair - is this about girls or about behaviour? My unruly DD doesn't seem to have this happen to her but my very well behaved DS1 does, he's already been moved from his (male) friend to have a (male) child with very challenging behaviour sat next to him, it's really upset him too.

*helpful not help

sashh Thank you for the information, my son is past that now and it is more about organising himself for revision etc. This is help though and I hope it assists someone else.

@ClinkyMonkey and @ThePankhurstConnection

Off topic but have your sons tried / used a 'Desk map'? Basically a piece of paper about A3 with a map of where everything should be?

So you have a rectangle with 'pencil case', another for 'ruler' and 'text book', exercise book etc etc.

You put it on the desk and put the equipment in the right spot so when you nave finished with a calculator or ruler it goes back to its 'home'

Depending on the child and their needs you can have a small one in a planner.

I know of one school that does this for all children in year 7 to help get them organised.

It sounds like that was the wrong 'solution' for you son Clinky my son is the same (ADHD) and he would have been mortified by such an arrangement. Also agree with your last line we shouldn't be teaching young girls in any case that their responsibility is to organise, be a monitor for the behaviour of others, or be responsible for the work of others. Girls are not responsible for boys - OTOH my son is also used as the buffer - should he be taught he is responsible for the behaviour of other boys too as he isn't the teacher or the type to be stopping someone being unruly as he would fear repercussions.

It doesn't help the more able children to sit next to irritating, badly behaved ones unless the more able child is one who really likes teaching. The more able, quiet, well-behaved child usually just wants to get on with their work.

Thats fab!

My daughter's teacher actually came to find her at break to say similar. Iwas impressed she raised it before it became a problem.

Maybe they've all been reading mumsnet.

Oh, excellent! That's a good result, Greebo.

By the way, DD is sixth year!

My DD and her friend were moved to help two boys in their hospitality class. She said she felt like his mother. Not sure if it is a boy/girl thing but she and her friend were getting on just fine.

I agree it’s shitty that often well behaved kids get put next to those who are disruptive etc, but disagree totally that this is a girl/boy issue.

Nothing wrong with calling a girl bossy either, my niece is bossy as hell, as is her brother.

Nice little girls are taught to placate naughty boys from when they are old enough to talk and they get called 'bossy' or 'rude' if they ever complain. I'm so sick of a lifetime of it THIS!

I agree that in life, people try to keep males happy, but not sure if that is what's happening here. My dd is in an all girl class, and sometimes partners are swapped if someone is disruptive or isn't happy, and yes it often is to the detriment of other pupils who are happy with their partners.

clinky

I think it does have to he said though that there is an awful lot of kids in high schools with anxiety. Alot more than there ever used to be. I do think we have failed to teach this generation ways of dealing with things and resort to saying they have anxiety and given a time out card.

Not saying we should tell them to toughen up and get on with it but 2 out of dds friends all have these time out cards its certainly more common than it should be really. It does raise a few questions about whether we are contributing somewhat by , indulging is the wrong word really but you get the picture.

I was friends with kids who had all sorts going on and they were not acting this way.

@MsTSwift Crikey - weeping and wailing in a corridor - there's some empathy for you. It's disgraceful that your DD was placed in that position, but have a heart.

Hmm not necessarily a sex issue we had to approach school when I realised dd was basically being used as a support worker for one of her friends with anxiety. I helped out on a school trip and couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Dd was missing out on important things herself to support this child weeping and wailing in a corridor.

It’s very hard when you have a “nice” decent kid who you want to help others but not at their own expense. She was missing maths which she could ill afford to do! We found this hard to deal with tbh. School immediately stopped it they knew it wasn’t right but was nice easy solution for the girls parents who were very vocal and school staff were busy. Didn’t work for me though 🙄

Last week my son and his friend were separated and the troublesome girl in the class was sat next to him. Happened again in another class. In his new class- 4 troublemakers 1 boy and 3 girls. It happens to him all the time as he is bright and gets on with his work. Same thing all through PS.
It was really irritating when it happened every term in PS though it was usually boys then as they were boy heavy in that class. It's just a shitty thing that good kids end up dealing with.

I think the difference I've notice is that yes it happened to both DS and DDs and even DH and I - but when problems were voiced boys are listened to and girls have to reach crisis point - melt down with DD1 or point blank refusing in tears with DD2- or are expected put up with the situations even if parents complain as well.

So I do think it worth mentioning and being aware of it happening more to girls.

This thread certainly brings back memories of my primary school in the 70s, where I was apparently a little snobby goody two shoes because I did well in lessons and as an only child had been brought up to be polite and quiet around adults.

We had country dancing as part of PE and I well remember being paired with the class male "scallywag" to "help him" I used to spend those lessons trying to keep his wrists in a vice like grip and myself out of the way of his sly kicks whenever the teacher wasn't looking. I hated every minute, it did zero for my dancing skills but did make me wonder if I'd make a good bouncer. If things did go awry, it was my fault for not being "nice" enough and good partner. Still makes me cross thinking about it.

Not quite the same thing I know but I get where you're coming from OP - completely.

Bloody hell. Boy/girl/boy? I used to seat my students (FE) on tables according to ability so I could set them team tasks dependent on their skills. The more able students hated having to mentor as they just wanted to get on with their work and I could then focus on behaviour on the less able ones.

I never gave a stuff about the sex of students unless I was doing pshe or tutorials, then once or twice a year I would give a separate one to each sex on dv ( coercive control/ emotional violence etc) as the boys did tend to annoy the girls with their " Its only banter, innit?"

they do this routinely in my sons school, boy, girl, boy, girl... its just so friendship groups of boys and girls aren't sat yabbering all day.