Conveyancers- man's name first

There should not be an automatic assumption that men are to be addressed first. This is the shit we've been fighting to change for years.

I’m really shocked by this too. It sounds like how things would have been here 30 years ago.

He’s still not relenting on the order of names on the files though, but I’m hoping we’ve at least planted a seed in his mind that it’s offensive to a lot of women. Hopefully he will mention it to his female boss tomorrow.

He also justified it on the basis that men are usually the higher - or only - earners and are usually named first on the mortgage and other relevant documents.

Ask him how he would feel in my situation described above? The downpayment came from my pay, the mortgage based on my income, the interest rate based on my credit rating... to be erased as if a tool in the handing over of the property to my DH. As if I were subhuman, a mere vehicle to substantiate purchase on an otherwise unwritable deal.

This pisses me off to no end.

I bought our home, using my salary as the income metric, my credit rating as the credit metric without using any of DH's info. We added DH name to mortgage as the second responsible party and to the deed as the second deed holder. When refinancing the same was true.

I handle all of our finances - DH couldn't tell you what is in the bank or what debts we have or what our ROI are (he has access to everything but trusts me more than himself to handle all of it - I work in the finance/accounting arena and have my realtor license for business brokerage).

The county property appraisers and tax collectors offices don't even list me as an owner and refuse to speak to me without DH's vocal approval on the phone or physical approval in person (even after multiple requests from DH and myself in writing over 20yrs), mortgage company lists DH as primary, and homeowners insurance lists DH's name first and require his 'approval' to submit claims since the mortgage company lists him as 'primary owner'. FTR, DH name did not appear on any home records until he was added; when he was added I was basically erased.

Bothers me massively. Just brought a house and my partner has had 0 input on anything, was second on forms etc... yet our case number is his last name. There was a period of about a month where no correspondence was coming to me on my email at all and it was all going direct to his, despite clearly telling them he does not monitor his emails and all calls/emails to go through me!

The bank (mortgage) puts me first. Ditto gas & electricity. Just had a communication from a political party who put DH first, despite him being second, in every name, alphabetically. Guess who won't be getting my vote?

Its currently driving me absolutely nuts - I'm selling my late parents property and am dealing with everything on the estate. The only contact my brother has had with the conveyancers is to confirm that as beneficiary he approves the sale. But yet all generated letters (which are emailed to me) are addressed to me at his address or to him. I have now had to ask 10 times for corrections as obviously I need everything recorded correctly for the estate accounts

I wonder if this is something the Equality and Human Rights Commission could be persuaded to take up - it’s an undue burden on women when dealing with administrative matters to have to constantly correct companies that do this. Similarly with schools who default to the mother instead of following designated primary contact Requests.

Yes and I’ve noticed the “opposite” of this Which also drives me Nuts.

Whenever my husband and I sign up for school related things We’ve Always put his name first as he has been our designated “point person” for our daughter for various reasons. Yet I keep getting emails sent only to ME and he gets nothing. I usually reply all putting him back on and ask him to answer, but it keeps happening.

I can just imagine the providers/teachers thinking “why does this woman keep bothering her husband?” Arghhhhhh.

I've had this happen to me loads around conveyancing/rentals/landlord/bank accounts, even though it's always me that does most of the contact, and it annoys me every time.

In fact, the couple of occasions it hasn't happened have actually stood out and had me use the solicitors/conveyancer/estate agent/whatever again.

Yes, this also annnoys me. HMRC and government bodies do this as well and uses envelopes that only show the first name so my DP gets all our joint correspondence from them, even though I'm first by surname alphabetically (and DP is crap at passing stuff on that often needs dealing with urgently). The local council do this with our Council tax too, the male name ascendant! I wondered if it was because my DP's forename is first alphabetically or ift he software is "sexist".

It was annoying when claiming back stamp duty as I do all the paperwork but the refund was held up because dh was first on the land title but I had claimed the money to go into our joint account (because I always do the financial paperwork). They wanted to give the refund to the 'lead' purchaser which had been put down as dh even though I did the majority of the moving management.

It annoys me. Especially, as PPs have said if I’m the one having most contact with them. My first and surname are both before my husband’s alphabetically. One company that I’ve noticed does keep my name first is SSE so despite them pestering me constantly for a smart meter, they get something right. I think our water bill is sent to DH, even though I set up the account and DH has never contacted them.

Another thing that annoys me - DH will he asked if his title is ‘Dr or Mr’. I will he asked if my title is ‘Miss or Mrs’. Neither of us are Dr but I’m more likely to get a PhD than my husband is and it’s a route I’ve considered many times. DH has absolutely no interest at all in doing a PhD.

It’s usually the case a management software used by law firms that does this. It’s irritating but very hard to change unless the fee earner amends every letter / document manually - which they simply don’t have time to do.

@SofaSurfette - The thing is that if it was random, or without any tought into it, then 50% of the time will be the male, 50% female. Which does not happen. Why?

It annoys me immensely always has done. I'm disappointed this is still happening.

Its currently driving me absolutely nuts - I'm selling my late parents property and am dealing with everything on the estate. The only contact my brother has had with the conveyancers is to confirm that as beneficiary he approves the sale. But yet all generated letters (which are emailed to me) are addressed to me at his address or to him. I have now had to ask 10 times for corrections as obviously I need everything recorded correctly for the estate accounts

It would bother me and I once moved my business with an estate agent when they did similar.

It annoys me if I’m the one who has all the contact with a company and they address correspondence to my husband

I always put the woman's name first, on principle.

No-one ever questions it. It's my small act of defiance

It annoys me if I’ve been doing all the contact.