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Original poster

Writing to restaurants and cafes with single-sex loos - anyone want to join me?

162 replies

williammorris · 23/08/2020 13:14

We had a lovely meal in a local restaurant last week - four of us - so the bill was around £130 and on a day when it wasn't eat out to help out, and they were relatively quiet.

Went to the loo at the end - and the three cubicles were single-sex with the wash basins outside in quite a limited space. One of the cubicles was in a mess, with the toilet seat up.

I'm fed up with this. I have a decent disposable income and from now on, I'm boycotting all local restaurants and cafes that don't separate by sex, and I've written to this one to tell them that, spelling out why - e.g. women and teenage girls don't like dealing with sanpro with men in close proximity and the mess you inevitably get.

In future, I'll email to ask about their toilets before making a booking.

Does anyone want to join me in doing the same? I'm guessing it's often men who decide the layout without thinking about the impact, but if we start writing and asking, it may dawn on them they could lose business because of it.

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VirginiaWolverine · 23/08/2020 14:23

No. My preference is for unisex loos. It's much easier to supervise opposite-sex children. I would expect all loos in cafés and restaurants to be clean, regardless of who used them, and I would certainly refuse to eat somewhere that didn't maintain good hygiene standards, but that's a different issue.

SerendipityJane · 23/08/2020 14:18

I should have thought to suggest they ask customers what they think

Like M&S ?

Original poster
williammorris · 23/08/2020 14:15

I'll report back if they reply to my email.

I should have thought to suggest they ask customers what they think - it's in a wealthy area with a lot of older people. I'm guessing most of the ladies wot lunch wouldn't like it

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SerendipityJane · 23/08/2020 13:58

Be prepared for them to lie.

I have many friends with accessibility issues, and even trying to confirm facilities in advance is a lucky dip. Quite a few times we've got there and there's a step into the building. Making it academic about whether they had disabled loos or not.

And that's before the ever-vanishing disabled loo, as they all get converted to "gender neutral".

It really is much better for the soul and spirit, if not waistline, to get used to not going out.

OneEpisode · 23/08/2020 13:51

I think you should complain to this restaurant and explain why you won’t be visiting again. Suggest they ask their customers about reinstating the arrangement.
I went out during Covid and they had a loo usher managing the queue. All doors were accessed from outside and the usher was outside standing well back. They had two self contained disabled loos, one usually men’s entrance which contained Shared sinks, urinals and partial partitioned stalls, and one usually women’s With shared sinks and partially partitioned stalls.

We all had an entire area to ourselves, and the usher kept everyone safe. I was sent to the usual men’s for my exclusive use, and it was immaculate. Dd was sent to disabled and DH to the usual women’s.
This was fine, attraction was functioning at low capacity.
It’s quite clear that it is more cost effective at full capacity to have loos divided by urethra location though.

highame · 23/08/2020 13:42

I just don't want to go into Lavs that men have used. They have zero regard for hygiene and yes I bloody well am stereotyping

DidoLamenting · 23/08/2020 13:39

No, I won't be joining you in this.

My personal preference would be for all public toilets to be mixed sex/ unisex cubicles with floor to ceiling walls with individual wash basins in the cubicles. I'm not actively campaigning for that but if asked my preference there it is.

I'm certainly not going to boycott a restaurant over this. If the toilets need cleaning then tell the staff.

highame · 23/08/2020 13:36

I'm in. Booking next week

Original poster
williammorris · 23/08/2020 13:27

And, yes, in future it will be something I check before booking.

It would be great if other women did the same toom

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Original poster
williammorris · 23/08/2020 13:26

Sorry, yes, I do mean unisex.

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COVIDKilledTheRadioStar · 23/08/2020 13:21

Do you mean unisex loos?

highame · 23/08/2020 13:20

Went to the loo at the end - and the three cubicles were single-sex with the wash basins outside in quite a limited space. One of the cubicles was in a mess, with the toilet seat up. did you mean unisex?

Good idea to do this before booking, then tell them why you're not booking if they have a unisex lavs