Writing to restaurants and cafes with single-sex loos - anyone want to join me?

I'm very squeamish about sharing with men, from privacy, safety, security and cleanliness. I've occasionally been in a gross female loo but am sure from the smell outside the door the mens was worse. I've been spied on before and the thought of cameras and the like make me want single sex facilities. I'm with you OP.

I am with you OP. I would hate to use mixed sex facilities of the kind you describe and wouldn’t return to a restaurant with that set up. Happily I have never come across them. I would be glad to have more of the kind of toilets which are large single lockable rooms with a basin in and room to fit multiple children, space for baby change etc in addition to the usual women’s and men’s. Trying to fit several children into one of the usual cubicles if they don’t want to wait by the sinks is a challenge. If the toilets were mixed sex I would not feel happy to leave children by the sinks to wait, or to let them go in unaccompanied.

Or would I be too much of a conspiracy theorist to think there's a creeping agenda coming up on this board?

There is a clear agenda.

Nightclub toilets are dire.

I have flashbacks to being at a place and the two women's toilets were horrific. It was a choice between peeing in one smeared with blood, and one containing a sweatshirt in the toilet bowl.

Many cleaners on here have pointed out that the state womens loos are left in is often no better than mens

Agree with this, a lot of women tend to hover over the seat and can't be bothered to clean it up. I used to clean nightclub toilets, the men's were not even half as bad. That said, sharing sinks isn't good, and the cubicles should be from floor to ceiling in that kind of set up. I wouldn't sign against unisex loos, but I would against those who don't have the correct set up.

Or would I be too much of a conspiracy theorist to think there's a creeping agenda coming up on this board?

Judging by the numbers of deletions on threads recently, I don't think it's necessarily too much of a stretch.

What's at stake here is safety and privacy, and toileting space in restaurants is often limited. I've no issues with secure integral units containing basins, provided they're clean. If it's a question of non-secure adjoining cubicles without floor to ceiling doors and with communal, unisex washing facilities than I'm far from happy with that and would be less inclined to be a repeat customer. I wouldn't call to check the exact layout of their facilities before visiting though.

The Magpie Cafe in Whitby is one example I can think of that has floor to ceiling integral cubicles, each with its own basin, AND they are segregated by sex. And space there isn't at a premium, so it can be done.

To put it another way - I would say that a bus station with multiple stalls should always have separate facilities. But for a restaurant I'd be disinclined to comment on their toilet arrangements unless I actually went to the place and saw what it was like.

Or would I be too much of a conspiracy theorist to think there's a creeping agenda coming up on this board?

Yes you would. I actually really dislike single sex cubicles with paper thin partitions with gaps although not enough to actively campaigning for unisex/ mixed sex.

In the context of a restaurant I really don't care and I'm certainly not joining in a letter writing campaig or phoning up in advance to check the toilet configuration.

I'm also not joining in with the "heaven forfend the person in the next cubicle might hear me unwrapping a tampon" nonsense.

I think maybe people don't see small restaurants in the same light as larger toilet blocks.

I mean, really small places sometimes just have one toilet for all customers and you just take turns.

I think that you find people more concerned about change rooms, showers, and those kinds of facilities. Toilets are just quite varied in design and usage.

OP- do you also boycott small restaurants/cafes that only have space 1 or 2 unisex cubicles???

No, I won’t be joining you
I don’t think I’m that bothered by this issue

And I don't honestly see why it's s feminist act to hide away menstruation like some kind of shameful secret that has to be hidden from men.

Neither did my Mum . If you observe, carefully, you'll see that not talking about it is much more what men want. So much so that it's become a trope in comedy.

I know many local and small restaurants that only have one or two cubicles in the bathroom due to space limitation or the building being listed.

I wouldn't want to put a good restaurant out of business for no good reason. Just seems petty and spiteful. What do you do if you go round to a friends for dinner and all guests of all sex use the same bathroom?

Nobody objects to small boys going in with their mums, it's true, but if the thought of using a cubicle that's been used by a man is apparently too much for an adult woman, then surely little girls shouldn't have to use the men's loos.

And I don't honestly see why it's s feminist act to hide away menstruation like some kind of shameful secret that has to be hidden from men.

My workplace, my favourite café, every house I've ever lived in - they all have loos which are not segregated by sex, and it's never been a problem, and is frequently mire convenient.

I can remember back to my own teenage years and being mortified if any of the boys knew I was having a period - the rustling packaging is a giveaway from the outside of a cubicle

Or the rustle of taking out a new pair of tights or an incontinence pad. I really have no time for this sort of nonsense about periods and women continuing to perpetuate it.

You , general you , are in a toilet doing the things that happen in toilets.

*no idea what the my h is in my previous post...gremlins.

Although I my h prefer toilets separated by sex, I've cleaned supermarket loos and to be honest, women are as filthy as men. The only issues are urinals which stink, as there are always drops of wee on the floor in front. One cafe I know (near Carnforth) actually converted both its toilets to unisex and left the urinal in, no woman wants to use that loo as it stinks.

Is this really about the state men leave the loo in? If so I'd have just complained about the cleanliness, though it feels like you have a wider agenda here.

I actually like having the individual cubicles (don't care if unisex or not) with the basin inside - makes it far easier to sort out sanpro, especially with a mooncup.

As long as they don't open directly onto the restaurant/public area.... but that's a different matter.

Many cleaners on here have pointed out that the state womens loos are left in is often no better than mens. I'm also fascinated what mess you get into with San pro. Even at my heaviest it was nothing the couldn't be wiped with loo roll.

A lot of restaurants where I live have only single person toilets anyway, usually two or three. So two small rooms, totally separate with their own toilet and sink. Often both are accessible as well.

Larger places have cubicles but they seem less common now, there seems to have been a trend to smaller restaurants.

I don't have a problem with the former arrangement.

With 3 toilets, one for each sex and one mixed should be fair enough.

Although my experience is still that in a lot of places, women will wait for the women's rather than use the mixed, for exactly the reason you saw - the state of the mixed.

Either that or they just need to be cleaned more often, and that's because for whatever reason, it's rare to find a frequently used mens that doesn't smell bad.