Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Writing to restaurants and cafes with single-sex loos - anyone want to join me?

162 replies

williammorris · 23/08/2020 13:14

We had a lovely meal in a local restaurant last week - four of us - so the bill was around £130 and on a day when it wasn't eat out to help out, and they were relatively quiet.

Went to the loo at the end - and the three cubicles were single-sex with the wash basins outside in quite a limited space. One of the cubicles was in a mess, with the toilet seat up.

I'm fed up with this. I have a decent disposable income and from now on, I'm boycotting all local restaurants and cafes that don't separate by sex, and I've written to this one to tell them that, spelling out why - e.g. women and teenage girls don't like dealing with sanpro with men in close proximity and the mess you inevitably get.

In future, I'll email to ask about their toilets before making a booking.

Does anyone want to join me in doing the same? I'm guessing it's often men who decide the layout without thinking about the impact, but if we start writing and asking, it may dawn on them they could lose business because of it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
minnieok · 24/08/2020 09:11

The problem was the allocated space, lack of basins in the cubicle and cleanliness not that they were unisex. In establishments with 2 or 3 toilets, self contained cubicles make sense.

Zeugma · 24/08/2020 09:11

I too very much agree with Kan. And OP.

Kit19 · 24/08/2020 09:06

the spy camera thing is well known

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-spy-cameras-hidden-public-places-peeping-toms-a8689626.html

a small cafe or resturant that has one mixed sex toilet completely self contained including sink is one thing and pretty much the norm. That's very different to multiple toilets opening out onto the area with sinks being mixed sex which is not acceptable

with something like this I'd focus on the latter

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 24/08/2020 09:02

The gaps under single sex toilet cubicle doors are partly for safety. If somebody collapses it can be seen. I often think that unisex floor to ceiling toilets are unsafe in this regard

And for getting out!

Ive climbed out of cubicles before and when we went away for a week many years ago dd got locked in every single loo we went to. It was on a coach tour thing and by the end of the week EVERYONE was joking about it

williammorris the shared sinks doesn’t seem ideal at all! It would be interesting to see if it was a repurposed ladies loo and why the change, extra storage needed , covid or whatever

And can people please stop with the ‘multi sex toilets in house’ argument please. Its honestly the stupidest argument ever, unless obviously you let complete and utter strangers who have not been invited into your house use said toilet at any time of the day. In which case I apologise...but its a very weird thing to do

DialSquare · 24/08/2020 08:54

is = are illegal

Noneformethanks · 24/08/2020 08:54

@DialSquare

My understanding is that unisex toilets with the sinks outside the cubicles is illegal. Mixed sex toilets have to have floor to ceiling walls and and doors with washing facilities inside the cubicle.
Is this definitely right?
Knobblybobbly · 24/08/2020 08:53

Lol..... spy cameras? Seriously?!

Quillink · 24/08/2020 08:50

Do you think you possibly have too much time on your hands?

What a strange comment. What is your own opinion on concerns about spy cameras, safety, privacy and dignity?

DialSquare · 24/08/2020 08:47

My understanding is that unisex toilets with the sinks outside the cubicles is illegal. Mixed sex toilets have to have floor to ceiling walls and and doors with washing facilities inside the cubicle.

DialSquare · 24/08/2020 08:44

FFS! Fat fingers. Ignore the added G in Kan!

Knobblybobbly · 24/08/2020 08:44

Do you think you possibly have too much time on your hands?

DialSquare · 24/08/2020 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it quotes a deleted post.

Noneformethanks · 24/08/2020 08:41

I saw the thread in active. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone

gardenbird48 · 24/08/2020 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it quotes a deleted post.

Wecandothis99 · 24/08/2020 08:36

Christ! Isn't there something else you could be doing with your time? Guess not if you're on the feminist board, this is your hobby hey. Confused

TheFleegleHasLanded · 24/08/2020 08:25

Yes the spy cams are an issue for me too BlueBooby, so much easier for men to place them in mixed sex or unisex toilets.

And you are quite right Kantastic; it’s very noticeable.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 24/08/2020 08:23

Currently in France where it seems to be the norm. Got so used to it now it isn't a issue. Full-size doors though.

However cleanthiness is very important but I don't think that is factor as to whether it is uni-sex or not but a combination of clientele / establishment.

Bl3ss3dm0m · 24/08/2020 08:17

Being wheelchair bound, I would never be able to eat out again, as not many places have more than one disabled toilet (except for shopping malls and airports!) Also, I need my husband in with me to help me, so single sex disabled loos would also make me unable to go out.

Kantastic · 24/08/2020 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BlueBooby · 24/08/2020 08:04

I'm not so worried about cleanliness. Both really can be as bad or good as each other in that regard. My worries are safety and privacy. Experience of assault and knowing how popular voyeurism and spy cams are on porn sites. For schools particularly I am strongly against mixed sex toilets for children over 8. I understand small venues when one small toilet is all they can provide and it has to be mixed sex, but where space isn't a worry then I would expect single sex toilets.

Noneformethanks · 24/08/2020 08:03

I’m going out tonight.

The restaurant only has 2 loos one ordinary one and one disabled one.

I won’t be boycotting them.

Quillink · 24/08/2020 07:58

If the toilets were mixed sex I would not feel happy to leave children by the sinks to wait, or to let them go in unaccompanied.

Also this. And the fact that it is easier to drag a woman into a unisex enclosed toilet and lock the door behind.

The gaps under single sex toilet cubicle doors are partly for safety. If somebody collapses it can be seen. I often think that unisex floor to ceiling toilets are unsafe in this regard.

AuntieMarys · 24/08/2020 07:58

No, not interested at all in your campaign. I have been in some grim female only toilets and am not remotely concerned by a man knowing I am menstruating. Neither is my dd who is in her 20s.

Quillink · 24/08/2020 07:53

I hate unisex toilets and will join you. That's a great idea. In my experience they are dirtier and there are plenty of studies showing that men are less likely to wash their hands.

Also I am concerned about the documented rise in spy cameras in unisex facilities. Placed by men. I don't want to encourage this.

I'm surprised that you have had such resistance on FWR OP.

maddy68 · 24/08/2020 04:44

Definitely will not be joining you.
They are unisex toilets , what's the issue? You have seperate cubicles. If you don't like it, don't go to that restaurant
Makes me smile, I no longer live in the UK, all the toilets are unisex in restaurants here. Really not an issue