Writing to restaurants and cafes with single-sex loos - anyone want to join me?

Which is why, when women are in a vulnerable position, away from the crowd, or with their knickers round their ankles, or getting changed, they are more at risk, and therefore generally more comfortable in a female only environment.

And what about those of us with buggies and toddlers

There are many people who find tiny cubicles prohibitive. These include people with mobility issues who don't need the disabled space (if there is one) people like me who don't drive but who use a market trolley and so on.

The issue here is that cubicles need to be bigger. Not that they need to be mixed sex.

Oh the drama!

? my dc were frequently parked in front of the urinal whilst their dad could wee, which did not require him to remove/half mast his lower clothing. He was no more vulnerable with the dc than without. A woman, sitting to wee, has herself and her dc more vulnerable.

And my husband has taken a buggy into a toilet.

Men also look after children.

Did I stumble into a trad-wife forum?

No, obviously, I do not want to make it easier for a man to rape a woman. I simply have a different opinion to you regarding unisex toilets and the risk it poses to women.

Is it ok to have a different opinion here without being accused of being ‘pro-rape’? Or are you ‘one of those’ who likes to throw accusations like this around when somebody doesn’t bow down to your opinion?

As someone who is a victim of sexual assault by a man (in a kitchen) and a woman (in a bedroom) I really fail to see how a unisex toilet in a restaurant is any more dangerous than any other place.

I do wonder whether some people just enjoy the drama of a cause.

Don’t tell me.... you’d rather a transgender woman didn’t use the same bathroom as you either?

And what about those of us with buggies and toddlers.

Sometimes we have to leave the door open as there is no space to get us all in

Or should we just stay at home.

I'm in agreement. I don't want to share restaurant, bar or any public toilets with men. I'm even no longer happy to share changing village spaces with men at pools since a man was found filming under the tiny gap under the changing cubicle wall at my local pool (this is a bit of a tough country area in Northern Ireland so he did get a hiding before the cops arrived).

the most disgusting toilet i have ever been in was after giving birth, and the woman in there before me, left her sanitary towel out in the open, blood every where. Absolutely disgusting - I too had just given birth, but managed not to leave the area in such a state. She was plenty able to clear up after herself, as was evidenced by her behaviour in the ward (but thats another story) and worse case that she wasnt. she could have reported it and asked for a cleaner, but no she was just disgusting

Op, It's my understanding that all unisex toilets need to be completely enclosed and the basin, with hand drying facilities, must be inside.

Why is the restaurant choosing to do it? Who is it benefiting?

And yes, there are plenty of statistics to show that spy cameras are on the rise. So for people who seem surprised that men like to listen to women urinate, one might ask why sales of these cameras, are so successful.

But a spy cam could easily be placed in a female only toilet by someone determined enough to do so

Aaah so men will do it anyway so we don't need to worry we are making it easier for them.

Ruth is that you?

Spy camera porn is huge.

Theres a documentary on iplayer Amroth Stacey dooley featuring a family who lost their daughter to suicide as she was so ashamed of having been filmed.

Guess she was just paranoid though ...

Never mind males are already posting pics of themselves in womens loos, with swords and laughing about all the women who leave

Mess left by men (I don't care that some posters claim women are equally messy. In my experience, that is rarely the case).

Agreed - in a spirit of inclusivity, I decided to use the ‘gender neutral urinals’ toilets at the Young Vic. Technically for females too so I thought sod this, my toilets aren’t free from males, so I will inflict myself on the men.

Easily the most grotesque toilet I have ever been in - even when I don’t count the men standing at the urinal, completely perturbed, trying to do their business - very discreetly.

Not sure if it counts as a win over the patriarchy or me normalising mixed sexed toilets. However - the men were very uncomfortable and I figure the more people against mixed sex toilets, the better.

I don't frequent places that have unisex toilets and where the women's toilet is not somewhere safe. This is both about safety and hygiene.

I've only ever complained once. This was at an art gallery where the toilets were floor to ceiling etc. but with outside sinks and down the end of a corridor with no staff. They were NOT clean. There was a larger cubical with a baby change table - this was the only one that was clean so I used that (probably wrongly) - but I was in and out lickety-split and I complained in the visitor book and later on TA.

Yes indeed Roswellconspiracy

And it reminds me of how some people’s feelings and needs matter very, very much and we should be kind to them and give them whatever they need to feel “safe” but other types of people, as I said they are just over sensitive and really ought to toughen up, stop being silly and worrying about things that will never happen anyway.

But a spy cam could easily be placed in a female only toilet by someone determined enough to do so.

Honestly, the paranoia here is weird. You really think everyone is so obsessed with watching you take a piss?

Happy to take all the rights similar hysterical uppity women fought for arent they though daisie

I find it interesting that some here seem to be implying that those of us who support the OP are hypersensitive, delicate flowers who ought to calm down, toughen up and stop making a fuss about nothing.

Search your local authority. Nationwide links are in here womansplaceuk.org/toilets/

If they have an alcohol or entertainment licence tighter rules apply, for example
www.north-norfolk.gov.uk/media/4063/toilet_provision_in_premises_open_to_the_public_policy.pdf

Real world

I'm with you op

I also agree that between excessive deletions , certain posters definitely being targeted even by hq staff theres a very definate agenda here.

Ironic how so so many posters on MN refuse to send their boys into the mens but have no concerns about unisex toilets for their dds . I doubt they are still going to the toilet with their 12 year old children.

No one in the feak world wants usnisex toilets. Certainly not ones where all thats changed is the sign on the door. Cos that's what most of the ones now seem to be. Like that theatre. Like Swanmore college, like all the schools kids go back to after the holidays. They aren't all these self enclosed units

W9men generally prefer single sex . The fact that this choice is being increasingly removed is worrying, as are the comments of those who either don’t care or a vested interest . Why are so many people invested in refusing to see any problems at all? Let me see....

I feel the same way as you OP, and am also v suspicious of the points raised by @kantastic.

It is not clear whether the set-up you describe is fully enclosed cubicles like rooms, with no gaps in walls or doors, or whether it is more traditional cubicles. Either way is illegal, as for facilities to be unisex, they have to be fully enclosed, and must also have their own sink etc.

However, even if fully enclosed, with separate sinks, I STILL want single sex facilities, for these reasons:

• Risk of spycam placement, which is on the increase.

• Mess left by men (I don't care that some posters claim women are equally messy. In my experience, that is rarely the case).

• Risk of being pushed into one of these rooms and assaulted.

I much prefer one large, single-sex room with multiple cubicles, because it reduces waiting times, it feels safer to be with other women, and if someone collapsed in a cubicle, others could easily see that and access for help.