Am I non binary?

Non binary is a bit like star signs. Vague enough to include pretty much anyone who wants to believe in it.

Why cant people just be who they are, a different gender reference/name change does not make a person happier.......being honest and true to yourself does.

The world is going nuts......

Non binary makes absolutely no sense. If it refers to sex, no one is non binary. If it refers to gender, everyone is non binary as I've never met anyone who is 100% happy with either make or female gender roles.

OK, firstly sorry, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be and possibly outing. But first time I have actually had the guts to say something on this subject.

I'm still trying to work out if non binary is just the new name for gender non conforming where gender is just stereotypical behaviour.

I have always been gender non conforming, a tom boy from birth, my family nick name was Butch. Did not have many female friends as a child. Always played with the boys, ignored by the girls as "weird," embarrassment to my very traditional mother. " Why couldn't I be like all the other girls!!!!"

Best subjects math and science but also drama ( always given male or the adult roles in all school plays or musicals, as was adult height and build at 11/12 but playing teen/adult female roles in amateur dramatics outside of school during the same period ) & art. Dyslexic but not spotted until I was an adult because..... well I was a girl and in the top set for everything. But you know what. THANK GOD I grew up in the 70s and 80s.

Joined the WRAF after A levels, but was seriously injured in a freak accident during training and had to leave. Ended up in the banking sector for over 15 years. Only full time, working mother in a team of 70 stockbrokers. (Whole other story on sexism in the workplace, but for another day, hey!)

Now I have always liked the alternative boys, loved long hair and makeup on men ( giving away my age here). DH ( and best man) had longer hair, more jewellery and make up on than me at our wedding.

Dh ended up as SAHD, we started off both working part time around the 3 kids, but I could earn a lot more than him, so why not have one of us at home with the kids. He did work part time around me and the kids so we'd have extra money for Xmas or holidays or just to escape the 3 mini monsters for a while .

My view female/male is simply words we have applied to Sexual dimorphism species.

Woman is female of the human species. Just like doe, vixen or ewe is the word we have given to describe a female deer, fox and sheep.

Everything else is just personality, abilities, personal traits and society's pigeonholes.

Sorry this is so long, but final thought, looking at the female names for mammals, god they seem so depressingly sexist. Or is it, that so many are used as an insult? Really not the same for the male versions. Funny that!

I think that a new way of categorising ourselves has been foisted upon us and there are now two systems of categorisation. One is your gender identity (what you feel in your head) and one is your bio sex (no feelings required). Anyone who is trans is using the gender identity system of categorisation. If we are forced to use this new system of categorisation I would be a non-binary (Agender) person. Although I don’t really see the point of categorising myself as something I am not.

the whole 'non binary' thing actually serves, in my opinion, to reinforce gender stereotypes rather than break them down. i've seen parents who are like 'oh my child (female) likes playing with trucks so i thnk they are trans! it's so damaging! why can't a girl just like playing with trucks???

this sort of thing annoys me, your family seem very woke and a bit annoying. so they think that because you don't 'conform' you are non binary? why can't you just be a female person who happens to like 'male' things? it makes no sense.

Can you ask them what a woman feels like so you’ll know if you are one.

You’ll get lots of stereotypes and intangible shit.

Proceed to strongly imply they are sexist but end the conversation saying you’ll think about it.

every time a non conforming woman declares themselves non binary they reinforce the extremes of gender expectation and narrow the definition of woman

Yes absolutely this. Im going to say this to my dd

So, youre an ordinary person then op, who doesn't fit neatly into a box of stereotypical criteria. I'd love to meet someone who actually did!!!

Women have protested, lobbied and even got themselves killed to get away from this sexist bs.

Being a woman or a man isn't a feeling or a tribe, it's JUST WHO YOU ARE.

By definition I would be non-binary because I don't exhibit (sexist) feminine traits that (old-fashioned, sexist) society puts upon me. But most women I know are like me. We work in areas that women were once discouraged from working in, we wear clothes formerly only men wore, our hair is shaved, or short, and heavens! we own property and pay our own bills! We paint our own walls and unblock our own U-bends! Who knew this meant we might be non-binary! I thought we were progressing women's rights for the past 100+ years! Silly me!

Although since men can’t cook (unless they’re a chef which is better naturally ) they may not need the loo as much?

Always looking for the bright side (but not in a single woman’s house, because it’ll be dark 😉)

Yes, by their definition you are non-binary - but so are most other people.

It's the poor binary people who really need the special recognition.

Just think of all those men living in squalor because their gender identity means they can't clean a loo.

What about all those women living in darkness because they can't change a lightbulb?

[er, my very patchy understanding of Christian theology might be completely wrong there, apologies if so].

It's bollocks, OP, an invented 'thing' by people who want an identity to cling to.

Agree with PP that I'd just not bother getting into it with them, though. Pointless. The thing about identity politics is that it is a form of tribalism, which pushes people further and further into their respective 'tribes' and can be incredibly divisive. This leads to more and more intense arguments and personal attacks, to the point where somebody can make the absolutely ridiculous assertion that 'They told me that my beliefs are like racism'.

These are people trying to win a (totally pointless) argument, not actually work anything out. When you see that clearly, you can see how much of a waste of time it is engaging in said argument. They're trying to place you on one or the other side of an imaginary line that you don't believe in.

I suppose it's akin to a Christian insisting you are protestant because you don't buy into transubstantiation, whereas as an agnostic or atheist the label just doesn't apply at all. From within the mind of a true believer, everyone must be labelled according to their invented parameters. Outwish that worldview, the labels just are meaningless.

A shrug is probably the best response, to be honest.

It's all a load of rubbish. You are you and you have a personality, that's it.

How exactly do you feel your gender anyway? I'm me and I happen to be female, no more no less.

All these grown adults coming out as non binary must have too much time on their hands and nothing better to do than gaze at their navel.

Yes you probably are non binary. As much as we all are. I’d avoid getting into it with them as much as you can.

In some African tribes the height of masculinity is long braided hair, lots of beads and feathers and painted faces. Meanwhile the feminine woman will shave her head and wear an animal pelt.

If non-binary means rejecting gender stereotypes then non-binary will have a different presentation in every single culture and period of time. What is non-binary in one culture will be entirely conformist in another.

If non-binary is shorthand for "being uncomfortable with current Western masculine and feminine depictions of gender" then yes I (and probably you) are non-binary. But it doesn't mean that. It's supposed to mean some kind of special inner essence which is narcissistic nonsense.

Your family should ask themselves how many African tribeswomen, especially those who have experienced forced marriage or FGM, wake up in the morning celebrating their gender. Are these women non-binary too?

I think it is your family who is unusual. None binary is so normal it's a none event

Except when people start forcing stereotypes at me when none binary can be the easiest way to escape

Everyone ever is/ was non binary. Non binary is everybody, yet it is nobody.

I‘m quite happy being a woman, and would probably be quite happy as a man if I had been born male. But I dislike the inequalities, eg the endless struggle for genuinely equal pay and equal job prospects.

And I hate the ridiculous sex-stereotype expectations that the ‘gender identity’ crowd are now trying to force on us.

Like most of my friends, I’ve always worn trousers and practical shoes, don’t bother with make-up, work with both women and men, do things men or women can do .... These days we could all bd called non-binary!

I wake up exhausted and drag myself out of bed (or procrastinate and check Mumsnet!).

Never have I ever woken up and celebrated my gender. I'm not sure I've even woken up and thought about it.

I have woken up and thought about my sex though when I realise my period has just started, catching me unawares, and I'm going to have to wash my sheets.

I also woke up in labour, so was extremely aware of my sex then.

But my gender identity?! That's just hilarious!

Your family are talking shit, you stick to your guns. You can be whatever you want to be, as a woman. No need to change any name or pronouns etc. They don't get to label you.

If I was asked if I was non binary, I’d need to know what the binaries were first, otherwise how would I know.

And I guess I’d also need to know if the binaries where universal, and fixed. If they are location or time dependant, I’d need to know all binary classes for any place I visited, and would need an ongoing, updated list as I aged to check if the label non binary was still applicable.

Or I could just say I’m a woman, where woman is female human regardless of age.

I think we’re all non-binary.

The problem with the terms trans and cis is that they are too binary. They restrict us into either identifying with the gender assigned to our biological sex or not.

Whereas really very few people are like that. Most of us have a complex collection of personality traits.

Non binary could be the new gender critical. The trans-accepted way of gender-critical.