I've really noticed this last few years.
When we see my boyfriends family they gush about how hard he works, how busy he is and how hes making good money and ask lots of questions relating to his work and I just get comments like "so...keeping busy"?
When we mentioned a nice holiday we have planned to a relative he said "lucky lady" to me, indicating I was being treated to it and proceeded to ask if my boyfriends work was going well to afford a holiday like that.
It feels like every time we are greeted by people the 'go to' statements to him are things like "been working hard?" "Putting those hours in?" And then look onto me as if I am meant to just stand there looking proud of him.
I've done loads of exciting and interesting jobs, in the last year I've gone self employed split between contracting and developing my own service, it's starting to go well and I'm looking to match my boyfriends salary (and the salary isnt even what it's about to me) and I'm putting in a lot of hours. I dont expect a fuss or recognition or anything like that, its just when I compare the comments and questions my boyfriend gets compared to what I get it just sometimes makes me feel like I'm just seen as my boyfriends cheerleader and whatever I do will always be seen as secondary.
Theres been a couple of people though when they have asked what I do for work and I say I'm self employed before letting me finish they say "aw well are you looking for permanent work? At least your boyfriend has plenty of work". I just dont imagine anyone would have that response to a man, it's as if as soon as I've mentioned being self employed because I'm a woman they assume I'm in an mlm or just doing a little hobby or something.
Rant over