Why are we meant to respect sex workers?

A 15 yo girl was working for an agency. Apparently she looked older and managed to trick the agency. The whole article focuses on her lying and how much money she made and how much more she could've made.
Not one comment on the punters that paid for sex with a child!
15 FFS!

Is that still ok? She made a choice. She wasn't on the streets. She worked for an "agency".

Still a valid choice? A valid job?

There was a scandal a few years ago in Scotland if I remember correctly of 14/15 yo girls being prostituted on the street. The police knew. The punters knew. But what can you do? Shrug you shoulders,move on,nothing to see here...

how is it that people who see themselves as feminists are at the front cheerleading this.

Internalised mysoginy and myths.. like the happy prostitute, men have needs, it keeps us "safe" from the men and a conscious or unconscious belief that prostitutes are disposable.

It's easier to sleep at night if you think about it all as happy,fluffy, rainbow clouds, full of choice and money and options rather than the massive majority of children and women who are trafficked, who are vulnerable, victims of abuse, substance users,homeless etc.

To see sex workers as 'seducing' married men infantilises men and puts the blame for their choices once again on a woman

It's clearly nonsense to blame a prostitute because her punter is cheating on his wife.

Have you heard of Laura Lee? She was a prostitute who posted regularly on here attempting to normalise what she did.

Because they're human beings and all human beings deserve to be respected and not looked down upon.

Female sexuality has been demonised where the johns male sexuality was not. If the customer is married or otherwise taken then it is his fault he has cheated in his marriage not the service provider.

To see sex workers as 'seducing' married men infantilises men and puts the blame for their choices once again on a woman.

Why don't people talk about the men who buy women more. It's starting to be seen as almost normal for men to buy a woman's body. Years ago it was seen as shameful but not so much these days

We do talk about the men on here. Most posters view them with utter contempt- quite rightly so. In these discussions someone who is /was a prostitute will usually pop up to say how lovely the punters are, how respectful they are and we have got it all wrong. This isn't borne out by what punters say themselves on punter review sites/ research.

What more do you want to be said about the punters?

I agree that it's starting to be seen as normal and weasel words like "sex industry" assist in that.

Making prostitution acceptable damages society- not just the individuals.

Give it a rest. Attacking individuals who are sharing their stories and thoughts is not productive at this point.

Focus needs to be on the men that drive this trade and how and why society focuses on the women, and sees it as an it inevitability etc. Also the drive to normalise paying for sex is really worrying, how is it that people who see themselves as feminists are at the front cheerleading this.

Obviously women, girls, men and boys who are trafficked are not acting as "handmaiden" but the ones who have a choice - they are handmaidens.

Even worse, are the ones who wouldn't touch the "profession" with someone else's barge pole, but shout loudly about how acceptable , admirable and empowering it is.

Nothing made me work in prostitution except maybe greed

The only person I was hurting being a hooker was me

Your actions do not exist in a vacuum. You were helping prop up the idea that it's fine for people to be bought and used for commercial sex.

You and your punters harm society in general because you give validation to that attitude . As long as prostitution is seen as natural, inevitable, just another or even desirable (e.g the offensive rubbish which usually gets thrown in in these discussions about helping men with disabilities or preventing rape) will never be equal or safe.

It's a term I don't like but women who actively collude with the "sex industry" when there are other choices are the real handmaidens.

Obviously women, girls, men and boys who are trafficked are not acting as "handmaiden" but the ones who have a choice - they are handmaidens.

Is this meant to show that a bloke pimping out his female relatives / family is a okay because...?!?
And you agree with this?

😳🤯

I knew a family where dad was a pimp and mum was a prostitute. Son became a pimp and 2 daughters became prostitutes. Not main stream perhaps but presumably the parents were happy with the choices.

I've also known a mum and step dad prostituting teenage daughter, including demonstrating for her what was expected.

That's one of the hypocrisies that always come up in discussions about prostitution.

It's a valid choice...as long as it's someone else's daughter,mother,sister etc.

[quote ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble]@Fieldofgreycorn would you be ok with your daughter choosing prostitution as a valid work choice? Why? Why not?[/quote]
No I wouldn’t. I’ve already indicated as much up thread.

This is what I’m struggling with. I’m questioning if I have my own prejudices and beliefs about what sex is and should be. And whether it’s possible or valid for someone else to truly think about It differently in terms of their own personal boundaries etc.

This is an eye opener: www.spectator.co.uk/article/the-sex-worker-myth/amp

@Fieldofgreycorn would you be ok with your daughter choosing prostitution as a valid work choice? Why? Why not?

Or are we saying that only a person with no self esteem or who is damaged in some way could do something like that because sex is normally an intimate thing. But how do we know that is all true and this attitude towards sex is the ‘correct’ one?

Prostitution or whatever we call it should never be OK.

Can we look at why? I’m not entirely disagreeing. I’m not 100% sure what I think about it.

If there is no abuse or coercion or trafficking, why logically is it wrong? People work in shops, cleaners, (real) massage providers, hairdressers warehouses, all using their bodies one way or another to provide a service. If a woman (or man) wants to provide sex for money why is that wrong?

Taking the assumption that no one could possibly freely choose to do it out of this, because it is already a value laden assumption (based on a belief you have that no one could possibly want to ie it’s circular) why is it wrong for an adult to sell sex?

Sex is not a human right. Paying a woman (or a man) to let you fuck them is just grim.

^ what NiceGerbil said 1000%

This recent post on Twitter feels appropriate. Even those people/institutions/publications that claim to respect sex workers don't really respect them that much do they? Or at least not as much as men's feelings/needs.

I think prostitutes should be respected the same as anyone else.

Why don't people talk about the men who buy women more. It's starting to be seen as almost normal for men to buy a woman's body. Years ago it was seen as shameful but not so much these days.

A few years ago when trying to keep away from my sexually abusive asshole of an ex who forced me to have sex with him every night (later found out he was using prostitutes too). I worked night shifts in a supermarket. I was the only woman working overnight on a team of 8 of us. Most of the guys where young and openly talked about paying for prostitutes one even talking about how he booked one abroad and when she was in the room all his friends came in to "have a go" too. They were disgusting and just saw it as completely normal. They also couldn't understand why the teenage day staff weren't interested in them. I spent most nights working with my headphones in so I didn't have to listen to them. There was one old man working too who just didn't talk to anyone so no idea what his views were. Before anyone asks it wasn't a 24 hour store so we didn't have customers in.

Just before I left there due to not coping with nights and daydreamed about crashing into trees on my way to or from work to get me away from the men I worked with and lived with. We were told a new woman was starting and so I had a whole night of them discussing how they hoped this one was young and good looking not another over 30s mum. (I was 30 at the time).

I never met the new woman as we were on different shifts but she was another disappointment apparently.

So getting back to my point why doesn't society talk about these types of men. It's always on the women selling the service not the men buying it who are stigmatised.

...but feel no solidarity to those who do it to pay uni tuition or have a better life style as they show no solidarity to women who's husbands they are fucking, most men who visit prostitutes are married or in a relationship.
Surely it’s the married or partnered men who are the problem here?
Where is their solidarity to their partner? Why are the prostituted women
responsible for other people’s relationships?

So no, I do not respect prostitues, just as I don't respect drug dealers, they both choose immoral occupations which is harmful to society. Respect must be earned.
And what respect are the men who use prostituted women showing to the woman who they are paying to rape, or to their partner?
And I’d question using ‘choose’ regarding occupation for prostituted women.

My main concern is for the women in this to be fair. When it comes to the men, I don’t have one size fits all answers. I have seen the fallout in the relationship board both over the betrayal far too often over the years, especially when posters were pregnant or just given birth and feel particularly vulnerable and found out their partner paid for sex. Not to mention the misappropriation of what should be family money on top of it all. It’s those personal stories that make this discussion real and show that it isn't 'victimless'. Of course, it isn’t the women’s fault who offer the service. The personal tragedies that may result of men paying for sex means it is no longer something theoretical to discuss. But then again, not all the men are married or in relationships. I am aware of some men who are long-term carers who have not been able to have a sexual relationship with their DW for a long time. In an ideal world they should not have sexual urges but I personally don’t feel ok to judge. Ditto for some relationships where there is no intimacy. If this isn’t a mutual decision it isn’t always black and white. However, in many cases, men who pay for sex actually have a full sex life in their relationship. They are just ‘greedy’. There are a few directories that connect disabled people with sex workers. Again, in an ideal world, everyone should be able to meet a sexual partner but they often don’t. Overall, in spite of my long post, I am concerned with an imbalance of economic and social power and abhor the fact that men would exploit vulnerable women. I doubt that many men would be unaware of someone forced and trafficked when they pay extremely low rates. So, when it comes to the men who pay for sex, I feel pretty conflicted.

Well that's a long post about the women.

I'm more interested in talking about the men who pay for sex. What are your thoughts on them?