Just for a second I really hated my husband.

Sorry you've had those experiences. I've travelled alone a great deal and have mostly been fine, but have also had some bad experiences, so I won't pretend it's entirely risk-free. I think it's a bit like how Gloria Steinam talked about when back in the day, women were told it was too dangerous to walk about campus at night so they were given a curfew, and feminists argued for "the right to be raped" or at least to take the risk for themselves if they wanted to. That's basically the way I've looked at doing stuff as a woman alone - being aware that there may be a risk, but deciding that I'd rather experience life to the fullest than not do things because of the possible risks. I would say it does take a bit of confidence to eat or drink alone and although many women on this thread are happy to do so, I know a number of women in real life who never would. So you're not alone - but you should certainly feel free to do it when covid-ready!

I don't know what you're talking about. This is not the impossible thing you are suggesting.

I do this all the time and always have. Never had a random drink appear on my table or had a room full of people laughing at me for cutting a burger in half.

In fact I'm debating whether to go for a pint in the sunshine on the way home and watch the world go by

I used to have to eat alone in hotels while I was on work training courses and it was ok until a friendly waiter started chatting to me in one restaurant and then started making inappropriate comments and suggestions so I left and went up to my room. Later on that evening he was knocking on my room door (I ignored it) so after that I always ate in my room. I probably should have reported it but assumed that I'd given out the wrong signal somehow . Nowadays, I'd be straight down and give the manager what for!

That's an awful experience.

Where did you/do you live? I've gone for beers on my own in London/Dublin/Amsterdam/Barcelona (prob other places as well) - I always sit at the bar and strike up conversation with bar person (lol pre-covid obviously) in case of weirdos, and tbh I have had men being creepy, especially Dublin, but I have no problem telling them to get the F*CK AWAY from me (I'm Irish). I've been called a bitch and a psycho...but I don't really care!

I have been assaulted by strangers in the past - though this was during nights out with friends, strangely, not when I am on my own. Though also as PP have said - the worst things that have happened to me have been from men I thought were friends.

I've NEVER bee approached while eating alone. Bring a book. I'm in my early 30s and a nice meal alone is one of the great pleasures of life, please try it!

OP, I'm guessing you are a pleasant looking person, you know, you seem like you would be nice no matter what and you're also a little self conscious? This attracts the entitled as you come across as low risk and the violent reaction is that they'd already "cashed the cheque" in their head.

Practice your resting bitchy face and do it from within. If you're willing and ready to say "fuck off" when required, predators sense it. It's honestly life changing shit for a woman.

I’ve spent many a happy hour or even hours sitting in pavement bar/cafes in Paris waiting for my husband to finish work or in our home city of Birmingham waiting to meet him.
I sometimes purposefully arrive at a bar early so as to have an hour or 90 minutes people watching.
I’ve never felt unsafe. Your pity is misguided.
I hate dining alone, but seated with a book or a phone and a drink I’m perfectly happy.

Surprised you stayed after being called a bitch by a fellow diner.

Cross post. That's a terrible experience, OP, and I'm not surprised you feel the way you do. But that's just one experience and don't let it put you off. Good luck.

I can't identify with this at all but I'm sorry you've had those experiences, I wouldn't think twice about drinking or eating alone in London or elsewhere, I've travelled alone, been to gigs on my own, turned up to parties where I've only vaguely known one person. I've met some brilliant and interesting people by being alone in bars!

Where the hell are you that this regularly happens. I do this all the time and this never happens to me?

I've dined alone, gone to cafes on my own. I was very uncomfortable the first couple of times and I'm still getting used to it. I will talk to people and can end up chatting to all sorts (people are endlessly fascinating). TBH, I've never been chatted up by men.

I'm sorry but what? I'm a woman and I sat in restaurants, pubs and cafes alone a bunch of times, in fact I'm doing it as I type this. I'm afraid it's only your own fear keeping you from doing this.

PS good luck with your gin and wasp swatter, that sounds like a great plan!

I've always done this. The only time I've ever been "chatted up" was when I was days away from giving birth. Which was odd 🙄

Blimey, OP, I'm not surprised your awful experiences have impacted your ability to enjoy what should be a simple thing. I'm really sorry that has happened to you.

It is stories like yours that just make me so angry with the bloody trans ally women. People who do not have the ability to understand that just because they are not threatened by, for example, penises in women's toilets, it doesn't mean that other women are happy with it, and for (depressingly) valid reasons. I am really grateful to MN for helping me to understand this.

Yesterday my MIL said “who’s that whistling?” (knowing it was me - PA)

I said, “it’s me... were you always told it was not ladylike. My gran used to say that, too.”

She didn’t say any more.

(We get on fine actually!)

You feel how you feel, we all have different experiences.

Sorry those things happened to you.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say here really but it makes me so sad for young girls and women that they can’t just watch life going by on their own

But they can. What you are describing isn't the norm.

Before my thirtieth birthday I had a bucket list and on it was to dine alone. I tried it once, it was excruciating

What was "excruciating" about it? I'm on holiday with my husband at the moment. I've added 2 extra nights on at the posh country hotel specifically for me to be on my own. I'm looking forward to it.

Do you do anything on your own? E.g cinemas, concerts