Just for a second I really hated my husband.

I'm not surprised that it put you off OP. What a horrible experience. Don't feel ashamed. Your natural reaction to that experience is totally valid.

I eat alone all the time now but didn't as a young woman because I hated being stared at by men. One of the pleasures of aging is becoming invisible. I love it.

I'd love to be able to jog alone, especially at night, like my husband. Sadly it is not safe for women to do that where we live.

I can completely relate to your Dean Street experience and I think eating alone can be quite intimidating, as can men like the ones you experienced. Just because others haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean you haven’t had a horrible experience that’s knocked your confidence.

But maybe it is time to reset that memory and challenge it? Some places are certainly worse than others to go to alone, I know there are pubs where I live that I’d never drink or eat alone in because it wouldn’t be very nice and it would be intimidating.

Mammatino what absolutely horrid people! I'm sorry you had that experience, how dare they spoil your meal like that!
I do wonder if it's got worse? A general expectation that anyone young or youngish is just up for it all the time? (So tempted to say 'in permanent kemmer' - reading The Left Hand of Darkness)
My best ever holiday was a week walking alone in the Peak District, and I encountered nothing but kindness and friendliness. (It was 1988 and I was 23)
I'm fortunate not to be shy, I've always talked to anyone - even on the tube!

thb I would have complained to the bar staff for even serving the drink in the first place and definitely about what happened later.

Going to the cinema alone has always been one of my great pleasures in life. I've always been astonished at how many women have said they wouldn't do this

I prefer going to concerts, gigs, opera etc on my own. I can concentrate on the experience without having to worry if my companion is enjoying it and/or having to discuss the performance with them.

I absolutely refuse to waste the price of a ticket just so my husband can come with me if it's not something he will enjoy. For example even regional opera companies can be £60- £80 per ticket and he isn't a fan .

I don't mean to sound unkind but this doesn't seem like a rational fear and it's stopping you living a happy life. Is there anyone who you can talk to about this to her help? You shouldn't have to live like this

I've never experienced this or felt like this op. Sad for you that you feel this way

In fact, to "punish" DH for all his carefree pub stops I'd make him drop me off and pick me up several wines hours later

Do you want to do it now OP? With social distancing and pre-booking tables it might be a great time to start.

Choose somewhere nice, country pub, wine bar, cafe whatever you fancy. Book a table, take a book or a magazine and your phone and just relax. Honestly, it's a really "normal" thing to do. Nobody would bat an eyelid.

Going to the cinema alone has always been one of my great pleasures in life. I've always been astonished at how many women have said they wouldn't do this. Always done lots of things alone, and only the odd bit of hassle from men. If you completely ignore them, they usually get the message.

*Takes the view

Really must proofread better

To be fair, our Krav Maga instructor was ex army and tough as, but he said that even he tales the view that the best self defence is not to be there in the first place, so he is always situationally aware and does not go down dark streets etc

I have found the advent of kindles to be a godsend for eating out/having a drink alone. I may be reading, I may be watching the world go by, but looking like I'm reading definitely drops the likelihood of unwanted intrusion. Getting older and fatter probably helps, too...

Get a dog? Solves all the awkwardness and anxiety of doing alone things for me

I guess it's not just the fear of what could happen but the fear of victim blaming if anything did happen. And the fact that a lot of women are told since girlhood not to go out alone after dark, to never walk home alone etc etc. It's completely understandable that many women feel unsafe about doing this.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed op, this has been your own valid response to the ever present threat of Male violence. Hopefully this thread expands your perspective, but I don’t begrudge you how you felt.

Ha, I must be far uglier than you!

I'm 45 and have been going to gigs, festivals, restaurants and pubs on my own since I was 20.

I've never been approached by a single man in all that time. I've had plenty of women attempt to draw me into their social group to protect me from the men but its never happened.

That's not to say I've never been on the end of vile, sexist behaviour, just never when I've been out alone.

I don’t walk in the countryside alone, and it kills me that I can’t

Just do it. The chances of anything bad happening are incredibly small. I've been walking alone, including walking late at night, for my entire life. I've had one bad incident in over forty years - and even then, I wasn't actually touched or hurt. I honestly think many women allow fear to restrict their lives.

Could you try in a small way first - pick situation that seem less threatening to you (e.g. coffee outside) then work up to posh restaurant on your own. Personally I go out a lot on my own especially as I travel a lot for business (pre-Covid19 obviously). It's never worried me, sometimes I get an approach by a guy but I've not had a problem.