More places asking me to state my prounouns. WWYD?

If you know someone is trans (but what definition?) then it’s your decision whether to call them by a gendered term or neutral one

How on earth is it up to me to tell others what they are or aren't? I'm not them. Why do I get to decide no you're not, I'll call you what I like?

there you go then - I don't see trans people lives as just playing a game, presumably that's why I don't have a problem with them using their own pronouns - it's no skin off my nose.

But that's not what this thread is about (from the OP). Not a single person on this thread has suggested they have a problem with other peoples choice of pronouns.

Now it is becoming a ‘thing’ that everyone ought to announce their pronouns and remember everyone else’s. We aren’t asked sexist on forms, it’s gender (or if you are unlucky gender ID). Why is this?

If you know someone is trans (but what definition?) then it’s your decision whether to call them by a gendered term or neutral one (in my opinion it’s not on to deliberately go out of your way to call them something that they don’t want) but can you be compelled to do this, or to believe that they have changed sex - whose comfort is the most important here?

I don’t buy into gender. It’s a nonsense made up term and most certainly not gender = sex, which is where some people are pushing the agenda. That is most definitely skin off my nose.

refuse to play this game?

there you go then - I don't see trans people lives as just playing a game, presumably that's why I don't have a problem with them using their own pronouns - it's no skin off my nose. Wouldn't affect me in the slightest in a zoom conference call, but can see why they feel the need to if people think it's funny that they don't look male, or female - surely that just shows that there is a need for them.

But in the context of a conference call - you don’t need them. And if someone has decided that they wish to be referred to something other than what you’d expect - don’t they need to also realise that people forget, get confused, refuse to play this game? You can’t make people believe what you do or say the words you demand they say.

Why do you need to use pronouns on a Zoom call? The participants are named.

Because of like this?

2 participants out of about 20 had pronouns next to their names on screen
What was funny was that they were both used to state the opposite of what our eyes told us or grammar dictates

Except I don't see it as funny, more like that this is why pronouns are important to trans people, but not so much to people like me who might feel "meh" about pronouns or WTF at first about them, but couldn't really care less about them.

If there were a 10 commandments of MN, that would be in the top 5.

Maybe I'm think, but those reasons are not obvious to me. Why is it a problem?

Because I say it is. No other explanation necessary.

I’d love to hear explanations - play the 4 year old ‘but why?’ ‘But why?’ ‘But whyyyyyyy?’ All they have is ‘just because’.

I think definitely start low key. Opening gambit is ignoring, escalate to dumb insolence by failing to get it if necessary, move to sterotype threat if carries on, but save the grand flourish of checkwoke by citing the Yogyakarta principles only if you really, really have to! Good luck.

‘Say what you see’

I think if I get asked I‘ll say :‘you can use any pronoun you like for me, it won‘t change material reality.‘

Why would they even need to know your pronouns? When talking to you, surely they can use ‚you‘ and they shouldn‘t talk about you, anyway. (And if they do they can still use your name). So what do they need to know your pronouns for?

legalfeminist.org.uk/2020/07/19/pronouns-compulsion-and-controversy/

I think name and surname should be appropriate.

Sandwich/elephant?

Glockenspiel/xylophone?

Nose/serendipity?

This could be fun.

But yes, if forced to state pronouns, the urge to say something random like lamppost/chi and just leave it hanging, would be irresistible.

Saw pronouns used for the first time on a Zoom call for a religious service the other day. 2 participants out of about 20 had pronouns next to their names on screen.

What was funny was that they were both used to state the opposite of what our eyes told us or grammar dictates. So someone with obviously make-patterned balding and a beer belly wanted apparently to be referred to as she/her, while the other participant, who was obviously female, but one person, wanted to be referred to as she/they.

Use of pronouns seemed totally unnecessary in the context, because no-one refers to anyone else in the service anyway. It's all prayers and no congregants are named or addressed directly, let alone referred to indirectly.

No-one was asking the rest of us to give pronouns, but I would not be thrilled if expected to either, OP.

Hope you find a way of phasing your dislike for the expectation in a way you are comfortable with.

I would prefer not to

If I really had to state my pronouns (or risk losing my job) I'd just say something really stupid and snowflaky. Or state male pronouns just for the hell of it.

You say it's a zoom call? If someone doesn't "pass" sufficiently as a trans man or a trans woman, surely it'll be helpful for them? Also people wanting to address them to their pronouns?

Why do you need to use pronouns on a Zoom call? The participants are named. If you are speaking direct to me you would call me "Dido"; if you are commenting about me to the meeting you would say "That was an excellent point Dido"

I don't get the whole "if you don't intend to talk about me behind my back then you don't need to know my pronouns" argument.
I mean, as a biological woman, I might think "eh?" at first on being asked to give them.
Then just give them as it's no skin off my nose so to speak.
You say it's a zoom call? If someone doesn't "pass" sufficiently as a trans man or a trans woman, surely it'll be helpful for them? Also people wanting to address them to their pronouns?
Only a problem if you refuse to acknowledge who they are and tell them what they have to be called instead.

If you do not intend to talk about me behind my back you do not need to know what pronoun to use.
Pronouns cannot function as correction fluid for those who are dissatisfied with reality.

no/thanks
fuck/off
something like that?

Works for me!