A gay man’s journey from TRA to GC

I think you have every right to still be annoyed!

I wonder how many other women got thrown under a HR bus, only for the thrower to eventually realise how wrong they were? Bet it’s far more common than any of us realise.

My feminist friends plugged away at me for ages before I got it (I was stuck in a ‘just be nice’ groove for ages and refused to even look into it further). I’m not a tattletale, thankfully, but I imagine if I‘d done a Mermaid’s style training course, rather than been woken up by all that gentle plugging, I could’ve been one.

I have watched the interview with Morty before but rewatched the section flagged.

I'm still annoyed that's he's peddling the line that HR ignored his complaint and put it in the bin - they didn't, they had a meeting with me about it!

I'm also still annoyed that he was willing to believe me as massively bigoted/hateful, then a close friend said the same things to him that I'd been saying, and suddenly he's a convert to the GC cause.

He seems very genuine, and I'm pleased that's he's finally seen sense.

I watched the chat between Duncan and Morty just yesterday, actually (Morty is on Glinner’s regular stream) and I thought it worth watching (Duncan’s thoughts on AGP, from a gay male perspective is particularly interesting).

He does seem genuinely repentant, and somewhat ashamed of his willingness to jump to what he now realises were misogynistic assumptions but that’s easy for me to say because I’m not the woman who was personally affected.

I shan’t assume you will be particularly interested in hearing the whole thing, Furious but I’ve time stamped from the relevant lead up to where he talks about reporting you, and then explains how he’d been taught to view t**fs as a hate group and how JK Rowling and Giraffe made him see sense. Give it 5 minutes or so from the time stamp and see what you think?

I don't think he's forgotten as he refers to it in a later tweet reply:

"In general no, there is no case here. I mean... read part one of my essays, I have done this...

But it’s extremely rude to try to tweet someone’s employer you found by looking up on LinkedIn."

Maybe he thinks it isn't the same 'cos he didn't have to look up my employer on LinkedIn?

Or maybe he's genuinely repentant?

Who can say?

Oh! I saw that this morning @FuriousAndFrustrated - I had forgotten about this whole debacle. Perhaps he's forgotten that he tried to get you fired?

Oh the irony.....!

That’s great Furious, sorry you had to go through all this.
Your HR colleagues sound like they’ve got the measure of this now.

Thanks all. I'm feeling more relaxed now, but still unforgiving

Great news Furious

That’s brilliant newsFurious

And their comments are very interesting - it’s a pity they couldn’t tell you that sooner to ease your mind.

Are you feeling relieved and relaxed now or still a little furious and frustrated?

HR meeting went well.

They confirmed that there is nothing to expunge from my record.

Nothing was put on there as a result of the original complaint after their December discussion with me.

(HR person confirmed that they didn't consider my comments to be in any way offensive, and had checked their understanding with their line manager who agreed, hence the lack of recording.)

So I'm reassured that nothing would show up should anyone request a reference/details for future employment (either internally or externally).

ChattyLion
I didn't get a mail about it. It was only 'cos I went back to the first page to send a link to someone that I spotted the deletion. I had no idea that the hill climbing phrase was taboo!

I'd also be interested to know if my post was reported and then deleted, or if a moderator was just doing routine checks and spotted it.

Having said that, I wouldn't have thought they had enough time to read everything, so either rely on reports or have some kind of bot which trawls posts checking for certain words/phrases.

I really wish my first post deletion had been for something more dramatic!

ThePurported
I agree. It reads as though he doesn't mind my name still being smeared but wants to make sure he's squeaky clean. I'm due to talk to HR on Monday so will clarify the position.

I came on to say that HR confirmed that the case has been marked as withdrawn. (Still discussing with them as I want it expunging entirely from my record.)

That's good Furious

I have to say, the wording of the email bothers me. He withdrew his complaint and no longer wanted it to be recorded as raised by him. So he gets to erase his name, but you are potentially still left with this on your record? That can't be right!

Did you get an email about the it Furious? (I’m still not sure why my post was deleted on this thread- no email). I thought your posts were factual too and it’s been very informatjve to read how you’ve been affected by another colleague’s politics and how your employer has handled their complaint.
I also think it makes a really important record for our personal stories to be able to be posted on FWR even if the reality of those experiences doesn’t always fit within the Talk guidelines. I had thought that was possible. But in any case, I didn’t notice your posts or mine breaking guidelines in the specific deleted instances on this thread.

The Talk guidelines do not seem to explicitly exclude any specific words or phrases- context for using those words is supposed to be taken into account. So if deletions are being given solely for using specific words or phrases then that fact should be flagged in advance prominently. It would be good also to get an email explaining about why a deletion has been done in each specific case.

Anyway- for what it’s worth thanks for posting and I am really sorry that you had a colleague report you at work. It must have been stressful and have affected your working relationships with other colleagues much more widely.

Apparently my use of a particular phrase wasn't '"especially conducive to civil debate."

So beware - the phrase relating to someone having climbed to the top of a hill on this issue might get you in trouble! I had no idea it was so controversial. Yet another one to add to the list.....

I've noticed a few odd posts being removed this past week.

I came on to say that HR confirmed that the case has been marked as withdrawn. (Still discussing with them as I want it expunging entirely from my record.)

Then I noticed that my first post on this thread has been removed! I can't remember exactly what it said but I don't think it was anything other than entirely factual, so I'm a bit annoyed.

Part 3 is now up:

medium.com/@duncanrailton78/how-i-became-a-trans-rights-activist-then-turned-gender-critical-part-3-eddcedb13cef