This board is (wonderfully) much busier than it was even just a year ago

Yes I am glad I fond these pages too! In the 70's I read a lot a lot of feminist stuff but these pages have really opened up my eyes.

A few things pushed me into coming to mumsnet. It was mainly because I wanted to look into trans issues on a deeper level. These are the contributing factors that brought me here:

1. Back at the end of 2009 a close relative of my husband hanged himself by mistake while dressed as a woman. He was in his 50s at the time. After his death it transpired that he had been cross-dressing for many years and had at one stage sought medical advice about transitioning to be a woman. We found out from medical notes he had kept that he considered himself to be a woman trapped in a man's body, and that in the mid-1990s he had even started hormone treatment and was considering surgery. No one in his family had had any idea that this was going on. (He was not married and was not in a relationship so although this was a shock to the people who had to deal with the aftermath of his death, it did not affect a wife or children.) Clearly, my husband's relative chose not to go through with transition and by the late noughties that side of his life was a well-kept secret. However, I often wonder whether that would still be the case if he had lived longer. I noticed the rise to prominence of trans issues in the mainstream media in 2014 because I kept thinking 'but where was all this 5 years ago...?' At the time I believed the notion that one could be born with the wrong brain in the wrong body and presumed it applied to my husband's relative, although I found it very hard to reconcile the person I had known with the idea that he was actually a woman. It seemed absurd. However, I spent many years assuming there must have been some degree of truth to that claim and picturing how hard it must have been for him to go through life in the wrong body.

1. On Facebook towards the end of last year someone posted an article about trans people having the wrong brain in the wrong body. I skimread it, vaguely approving of the content. Then a woman I know, who I like and respect very much commented on the article saying something like 'just be careful - there have been very few scientific studies done on this and there is no proof that someone can be born with the wrong brain'. That's all she wrote, but suddenly I felt like such a fool. I had blindly accepted this narrative and had never once properly questioned its validity or looked into its claims in more detail.

1. Also at the end of last year I was asked to fill out a diversity questionnaire at work. I had to say whether I was 'cis', what gender I 'identified' as and what gender I had 'been assigned at birth'. It also asked me what race I identified as. The whole thing made me really quite annoyed. I didn't complete the survey out of sheer irritation and came away thinking that I needed to do more research into this subject.

I was vaguely aware of the term 'TERF', although did not know what that meant. However, I had heard somewhere that Mumsnet had a reputation for being terribly TERF-y, so I thought I would come here to see the arguments and then look into the rebuttals. I'm not sure that it was LOJ himself who effectively directed me here, but it would have been someone of his mindset.

Anyway, I got here and discovered a lot of well-educated women whose views stand up to scrutiny. Our MPs look hopelessly out of their depth and uninformed in comparison to the women on this site.

It was through this site as well that I was introduced to the existence of AGP (albeit obliquely, as threads discussing it in detail tend to get taken down). Once I knew about that, and had done some further research, everything about my husband's relative - the cross-dressing, the manner of his death, the hormones - made complete sense. A lot more sense than him having the wrong brain in his body, anyway.

I'm also glad to see on this site feminist arguments about pornography and prostitution. The views on these subjects chime with mine, but they are not often presented elsewhere.

So, thank you Mumsnet. After I started reading these threads, I wrote a thank you note to JKR when she stood up for Maya Forstater. JKR has since said that it was the amount of thank-yous she received that gave her the confidence to speak up further. I expect Mumsnet inspired a lot of people to do the same.

I was actually first over at BC, where I joined up as I was pregnant (is that still allowed?) About 2 1/2 years ago, where I got into their AIBU. As it was so small I jumped over to MN and I don't really remember what brought me to FWR but it was a few weeks before the whole JKR thing.
My recent ex hated me on any of those pages, because he said they 'changed' me but what it really was, was that it opened my eyes to how much s* he gave me, including a few outbursts of verbal/physical aggression, so pleased to say I've left that environment and my DD, just turned 2 is asleep next to me with her hands behind her head and all stretched out

It is wonderful to see how people like LOJ and DR have brought people to this page.

I used to recognise nearly every user name, unfortunately some very valuable women have gone but it looks like each one has been replaced by ten.

I've been lurking for years, 2016 maybe?

There's US based message board I lurk on also where they're discussing JKR. They're so pleased with themselves but my God the posters! They wouldn't last a post or two on here. Before I discovered MN I thought they were pretty smart. Thanks to MN my expectations are way higher now.

To this day I feel so ashamed, as she showed me her scar I had a panic attack and left the room. It was the brutal reality of her disease. I let her down when she needed my support and I have never forgiven myself.

You need to be more kind to yourself. This is an understandable reaction. You were frightened, like anybody would be. I can't imagine that your Mum was as unforgiving of your reaction as you are yourself

I'm lurked for some time, but I don't post much. I found these boards quite terrifying tbh when I first joined MN about 5 years ago... but it was through these boards that I've discovered Posie Parker, Magdelen Burns (RIP) and a few other significant GC women. I've learned so much. I'm terrified for the future of women. This feels like a relatively safe space. For now.

I came across the Womens Rights board as a Feminist MN user and it's certainly opened my eyes. It's been an education, and one I am so grateful for.

I hope this is ok to post, I think it's related. Yesterday I went out for a walk by the the river, there were lots of teens hanging around and swimming. A couple of lads in board shorts and a girl in a bikini were walking towards me. I glanced at them, didn't really pay much attention until they were closer. One of them was speaking loudly and their voice sounded - strange, so I glanced over and immediately saw he had top surgery scars.

My dearly loved late mum died of breast cancer. As part of her treatment she had a mastectomy. When she came home after surgery she asked me to clean her wound. To this day I feel so ashamed, as she showed me her scar I had a panic attack and left the room. It was the brutal reality of her disease. I let her down when she needed my support and I have never forgiven myself.

When I saw the top surgery scars on the teen yesterday (I know what I am saying, I am using the terminology used now but it is what it is) it took me straight back to that moment with my mum. The scar as visible evidence of her disease, the desperation of her situation, hoping against hope that she would recover, survive. And I saw these scars on what looked like an anorexic girl once I'd looked twice, not just a skinny boy in board shorts. And I was so fucking angry. I hope this teenager has found peace in their life. But at what cost?

It really was them going “Transphobic!!” at Jk Rowlings sound reasoning that set it off for me.

Sad that DR used the situation as an opportunity to deem himself good and her evil in his speech just to promote donations for Trevor Project. (self portrait and all)

Glad it didn’t work. They expected a lot more consequences for her ala Nick Cannon. (That was brutal but he did something awful)

I've been on MN for a number of years now, not really posting but reading various trending threads from the emails but I did not know about FWR until seeing what was going on with JKR, I can't even remember how I found my way here but I'm so glad I did!

The sainted Owen Jones sent me here. He said that the site was full of hatred and bigotry which seemed just a little unlikely so I popped over to have a look. What joy! What japes! And, more to the point, what a wealth of knowledge and courage. I have learned so much (including from excellent contributors who have now been kicked off for talking about biology or occasionally getting too pissed off to give a bugger). Thanks to all of you.

I used to post quite prolifically on mumsnet for about 4 years until 2017 and I used to lurk on these boards towards the end so I was aware of the trans issues but I decided to quit mumsnet at that time. I stopped all social media, only listened to headline news every so often, turned away from popular culture and concentrated on other things.

During lockdown, we had a total news ban in the house for our mental well-being. I joined a discord group around Harry Potter books and one day they they were slating JKR. I researched and found out why. I tried to discuss the issues with them but they were so woke (I didn't know that term then) I felt isolated and felt I was going slightly mad. I suddenly remembered mumsnet feminism chat and here I am. Sanity at last.

Hi. I have a couple of glasses of wine so hopefully this makes sense. I have been a lurker (not sure if that's what I would be called) on Mumsnet for 8 yrs since I had my ds. I have learnt so much since been on here, and yes it was because of JKR that I have come on the Feminist threads. I passed her one morning going to work in Edinburgh it was in a quiet area and because I didn't recognise her at first it was one of those "was that really her" moments. But god I wish it was now, I wish I had spoke to her then even to say thanks for the support she has given to single parents, I am one. I have reached the age of 50 and I have found out that I am a CIS woman, I breastfed my ds BREASTFED and I am now a chest feeder and whatever else has been thrown at us. I would never have called myself Transphobic, I would accept anybody whoever they are, I have cried watching Paris is Burning, binged watched Pose. But I would now be called Transphobic because I am Pro-woman, pro who I am. And fuck been told but it doesn't matter you are still a TERF. But I suppose I have to admit I am probably GC. But what does GC really mean, I'm not critical of your gender, I accept you as being a Transwoman. But what conversations would there be about periods, menopause and smear tests. In a conversation with my boss, who is a liberal well read guy, (whatever that means but you get my drift), I was discussing what has been happening and then I said " I will remember that I am a CIS woman, a cervix haver when I have my legs spread and a probe up my fanny when I am having a smear test". Yep I don't know who was more embarrassed after I said it.

I have now become one of these woman who when I was younger I would have eye rolled at " what does she know" but now I know how they felt and probably thought she will learn. All these young girls who haven't really started out yet who have not read but jumped on the bandwagon will have to go through certain things in life because they are a woman. Lets see if there views change. Who knows if it will an equal society, it is changing slightly but it has taken YEARS and still more needs to be done. I would like to ask some of these guys a la Daniel Radcliffe, tell me son what is a woman and would they deep down date a Transwomen if they didn't have surgery. That sounds harsh I know.

But I just wanted to say thanks and reading my rant and my ramble , you have opened my eyes to what is going on and I have read so many brilliant articles. Unfortunately I cant make the Edinburgh meet tomorrow but hopefully it goes well.

Reading about the assault on Maria MacLachlan in Hyde Park, in 2017, woke me up to the trans issue with a shock, and I started reading what was happening to women's rights.

For a while, I tried to raise issues like the loss of single-sex facilities in comments on Guardian opinion pages. But my comments were so often deleted (despite never breaking the written rules) that it was pointless.

After that, I can't remember where I read about the vipers on Mumsnet, but they sounded saner than whoever who was ranting about them. So I had a look, and realised I had found my people.

Now I check the FWR boards every day to see what's happening and what needs doing (crowd-funders, email-writing etc). I get more information here than from the news media.

I wish I had been here in the old days as I'd love to see how it all unfolded. It'd make a good collection. I'm here about a year and a half

I turned up just as rubber-wanks-at-work-man made the news.

It’s never been quite as fun since, but I’ve loved reading the thoughts of so many smart women.

I'm loving this group, I started with no idea of current issues. Now I do and am happy to say so, even have my partner interested and making comments about everything to his friends & family

I came here by mistake. I was going into hospital and wanted some advice on that issue. Whilst here this board caught my eye. I have learnt a lot and glad because my DD is going into year 7 and I will be keeping a close eye on what will be thrown at her on certain issues.
I had seen the some of the stuff going on with JKR but it hadn't really registered properly. I don't think it has with many tbh.
A long standing green voter I now don't think I will vote for them again given there current stance on the GRA

It is great to see so many new names and every so often a name will pop up from the threads I used to lurk on that have posted much less since the banning of Lang.

It's great to see so many new faces as so many more women realise just what's happening to women's rights and children's safety. It's a bit of a shame that so many informative / brilliant threads disappear down the board because of the sheer number of posts - it's always worth taking a wander onto other pages to see what's been missed.

I have gone from thinking you were a bunch of bigots (sorry) to reading the board and seeing that you had a point. I only started posting after seeing the disgusting abuse levelled at JKR.

I have been a victim of abuse and I can see the abusive behaviour of the tras too clearly. I also know someone who has detransitioned and seen the way the world treats her.

Something else that I've recently noticed, is just how many FoI requests have been made to various organisations, regarding Stonewall and its spurious fees and memberships.

And it warms the cockles of my heart that members of public are now asking these questions.

I've been here for about a year now and have learned so much. It has given me the armour to take on the patriarchy in all its current guises.

Its my mumsnet Landing Board, but when I take a look at Active, it's always nice to see two, three, sometimes even four FWR threads showing there.

Hi. I confess that it was JKR and watching the Jamiedodger video about her essay that a friend recommended that directed me here, via Glinner. So late to this particular party but an old school feminist- you know, the type that focuses on women and patriarchy!

But I'm trying to make up for lost time by challenging my council's equality policies etc. And spending on various crowdjustice appeals. My partner's slightly baffled by my apparently new and vehement convictions, as on most other things I'm pretty easy going. But we've decided that he's feeling a bit sensitive as his PhD was heavily based upon Foucault, and that aspects of Foucault's work have created a bit of a monster!

I'm really enjoying (if that's the right word) being in the thick of it and learning a huge amount on here. Just wishing it wasn't in these awful circumstances.