Woman thinks being beaten up is sexy

This is horrible. I can understand why more young women are choosing to be celibate if this is what young men are conditioned to expect them to do.

Pornography has definitely got progressively more violent since I was younger and it seems that having any sexual boundaries at all is frowned upon.

There just seems to be no way to fight against misogyny. Whichever way you fight it, the misogynists come back with violence - and they're physically stronger so we're screwed.

@isabellerossignol

I think this is part of the problem. As it became more 'frowned upon' to be physically aggressive with women in other contexts it was shifted into sex where any questioning about it is 'kink shaming' and 'conservative' and 'policing people in the bedroom'. Instead the progressive, liberal position is to not only to leave 'what happens between consenting adults' well alone but to protect it as a means of expression and individuality.
Encase behaviour in sex and it's basically untouchable.
It's like all the toxic patriarchal domination tactics that are now less acceptable in the public sphere are erupting in the most private of interactions.
Men just have to know they're in charge by humiliating women who are already weaker than them. It's sick and pathetic.

The idea of physical pain was never a turn on for me but I used to fantasize about being humiliated and treated in a dismissive manner by a man. I could relate to the words of that song "treat me like I'm a bad girl even when I'm good to you."

When I got older I realized I was imagining up a romantic partner who treated me the same way my narcissistic father had -- shaming me, humiliating me, treating my opinions like dumb girlie nonsense.
I decided it wasn't healthy to engage in these fantasies, and it was never the psychological pain that was a turn on anyway..only the happy ending when he proves he loves me after all.
After years of only allowing happy, truly loving thoughts of a relationship into my head, I find nothing about my old fantasies to be a turn on. That kind of thing really repulsives me now.

• I worry for the young women and teen girls who have been conditioned to this is normal but as a parent of a boy, I also worry for teen boys and young men who will associate sexual gratification with violence against women and how it would likely spill into other areas of the relationships.

We are already having discussions around sex, consent and porn when it crops up with our son. The violence in porn is another issue we are going discuss as he gets older.*

Same here.

50 Shades of Shit.

...is the correct title. Full marks!

This is a troubling trend and even more so when combined with the apparent decriminalisation of rape in the UK. I am beginning to see the vague outlines of something murky, like a misogyny monster slowly rising from the waves against a darkening sky.

(Then he embraces me, choking me violently, ripping off my hair while I tremble in orgasmic pain).

On dismissing the wisdom of older generations: I did that, too. But not completely and this saved me and made sex sometimes like touching the face of the divine. No choking necessary or wanted.

Well this is clearly not healthy, I was once involved with a younger woman who was into BDSM, turns out what she was really into was the “aftercare”, that is supposed to happen afterwards. Didn’t seem to occur to her that intimacy and tenderness doesn’t necessarily have to be a thing one earns from being sexually brutalised.

I am beyond heartbroken that we have come to this.

Slightly off topic but in connection to Germaine Greer saying about men hating women, I saw a clip on the news about the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial.

There was a van parked outside the court which had a display on the side saying "Burn the Witch" and when Amber Heard tried to make a statement she was booed.

I think some other things that may have gone on behind closed doors, such as domestic violence and sexual violence, is now spread by SM to younger men and boys as "normal". And spoken about casually.

I dont think Alabamawhirly1 is right. It is not about sex being boring but thinking what is shown in porn is normal. I suspect most young men have no idea about enjoying sex. It is just an act of domination and hurt. And the ones getting hurt are young women and girls.

And its not just SM its mainstream Hollywood and of 50 Shades of Shit.

There's a lot of this in fan fiction right now. Tellingly, the authors don't really describe what feels good about about any of this to the receiver. It's like they're going through a checklist of acts they've seen in porn and think they ought to name check.

It's sickening and one of the reasons why at the age of 23, I've decided to stay celibate and single. The internet has shown us how much men really do hate us. Pickmes who engage in this behaviour are obviously mentally ill, but they're still causing damage to other women by endorsing this rape fantasy stuff. Imagine if women boasted and bragged about beating men and calling it a "kink"? They would be burned at the stake but because it's "men being men", no one wants to address the hatred.

The demand wouldn't be there if a high percentage of men didn't secretly want to beat the shit out of us.

This. I too want any assault during sex to be treated as the assault that it is.

Porn has been horribly instrumental in normalising violence towards women during sex. It's like the misogyny has to spill out somewhere so when they're finally barred from being in charge of us in everyday life, it's been channelled into sex with porn as the revenge instruction manual.

Utter gaslighting of young women. We need to unionise and reject this toxic shit.

I actually think porn use needs to be treated like cheating, it's got so bad. On a societal level I'm actually wondering if it's become MORE damaging than cheating, if you add up all this new assault plus the harm to the women (and children, looking at the horrifc amount of child sex abuse out there too) involved in the making of it. Every consumer is complicit. Men are getting addicted and ever sicker on a very bad drug.

I hope that type of porn will be banned soon. It fucking well should be along with violence during sex. You shouldn't be able to concent to being hit, cut, whipped or choked. Abh is Abh whether you concented or not. I think people would be a lot more careful about who they slapped around during sex if they knew she could go down and report them (successfully) to the police the next day.

I worry for the young women and teen girls who have been conditioned to this is normal but as a parent of a boy, I also worry for teen boys and young men who will associate sexual gratification with violence against women and how it would likely spill into other areas of the relationships.

We are already having discussions around sex, consent and porn when it crops up with our son. The violence in porn is another issue we are going discuss as he gets older.

porno +sex positive movement

Obviously bdsm coming into the mainstream stems from misogyny. The demand wouldn't be there if a high percentage of men didn't secretly want to beat the shit out of us.

But I do think some of womens readiness to accept it has come from sex no longer being a taboo.

Sex is so normal, so accepted that just having sex is boring. Young people want to push boundaries and do things they feel they shouldn't be doing.

Young people need to feel they're doing somthing their parents wouldn't do, hetro sex is in all films and music videos - you have to find somthing stronger to get that feeling of doing somthing new, edgy and different.

People always joke that teens think they invented sex and drugs when in actual fact each generation has done just as many drugs and had just as much sex. But it is also true that each generation becomes more sexually open and more prone to drug use. So for a teen today, they know they have to do somthing pretty extreme to be treading new ground. And bdsm seems to be it.

I was shocked that for girls 10 years younger than me anal sex was pretty vanilla and somthing people did on ONS. Those same girls are probably now shocked that girls 10 years younger than them will get choked and smacked on a ONS.

I'm just hoping by the time my dd is a teen it will all have gone full circle and it will be ground breaking, rebeliouse and trendy to not sleep around, just have loving mutually enjoyable sex and not take drugs.

I saw this this morning and was just as stunned as most of the other women posting replies on the Twitter thread. That poor woman. To revel in your own absolute subjugation is really incredibly sad. It also seems to go beyond the individual abuser -v- victim dynamic - unhealthy enough on its own - into gaslighting a whole generation of younger women that this sort of victimhood is sexy, exciting and fun and that they are 'cool' for participating in it.

It's none of the above. Nor is it fully consensual BDSM which can be fulfilling with the right sort of parameters in place. This is boiling frog syndrome on a whole new level. And it's as frightening as hell.

The TikTok film is one of the most utterly depressing things I have ever seen. It made me genuinely fearful for kind of lives our daughters are going to have/are having.

This is sickening.

I fear that when us middle aged women point this out, as we will, we will inevitably be laughed at as dried up old prudes. That's part of what makes it so difficult to tackle.

Really awful. It kills me how violence (against women) and sex have become so inextricably linked. As well as violence, the downright demeaning and humiliation. I honestly think women who claim porn "doesn't bother them" or they themselves enjoy it need to open up Pornhub and have look through some of the video names/thumbnails. What % involve a woman being fucked while looking in pain? What % involve a man's hands round a woman's neck? What % involve a woman restrained by rope/chains etc? What % involve a man fucking his "step-daughter" etc? Sorry for the rant - I just completely despair that young people in particular are seeing this shit and thinking this is what sex is all about.

Didn’t the Twilight books have Bella covered in bruises after shagging a vampire and being totally cool with it? Yup! I friend had loaned me the books, I gave them back unfinished when I got to that part. She was a bit perplexed but did undertsand, on second explanation!

It comes back to the Germaine Greer remark about women not understanding how much men hate them.

Didn’t the Twilight books have Bella covered in bruises after shagging a vampire and being totally cool with it?

I feel very sorry for these girls who have been brainwashed into this, and simultaneously raging at them. They are actively damaging women by thinking its cool to do this - they are telling men this is acceptable, they are telling women that this is what they should accept, they are actively linking male arousal to violence against women. How can you be so lacking in imagination to not see where that leads?

I haven't watched the Tik Tok video