US college first year describes her experience of mixed dorms

To be fair, I'm still not sure if titchy's kids were sharing single-entry unisex bathrooms (like the ones we have at home) or multi-entry mixed-sex facilities with cubicles, sinks and rows of showers.

To be clear, one child (other had single entry unisex), sink area multi-entry no lock on door. Within sink area, lockable shower enclosure and lockable loo. So a hybrid I guess. Can't remember whether shower door was full height.

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

As in my post at 19.38 this evening, first paragraph not clear but it's a cut and paste

To be fair, I'm still not sure if titchy's kids were sharing single-entry unisex bathrooms (like the ones we have at home) or multi-entry mixed-sex facilities with cubicles, sinks and rows of showers.

Of course flatmates can agree to more immediately share a home-style bathroom, like one person brushing their hair and another shaving for instance, but that requires consent. Which is typically not sought in the dorm/gym style facilities. Which is one of the many reasons these facilities are much more problematic if they are mixed-sex.

Charlie and Rufus sorry , I pasted another posters words but didn't bold or clearly indicate them, think you may have read I'd differently due to that? I'm totes not on board with sharing at all

Oh god the relief

Mate....i was trying to figure it out...couldn’t understand why you were saying that 😀

I obviously missed the original quote. That will teach me not to pay more attention

As in my post at 19.38 this evening, first paragraph not clear but it's a cut and paste

Charlie and Rufus sorry , I pasted another posters words but didn't bold or clearly indicate them, think you may have read I'd differently due to that? I'm totes not on board with sharing at all.

titchy I took your words as sounding a bit blasé about boundaries is all, if both sexes can use a shower area you're reliant on men not taking advantage. It's great if the majority don't but even a minority doing so isn't acceptable.

Same set up as in the article (she talks about shower doors not curtains, albeit flimsy).

Anyway not arguing it's acceptable
For her to be perved at. Or that the facilities shouldnt have been better designed.

This sort of thing has been common in Canadian universities for years, nothing to do with trans students. Many buildings that were single sex have been converted to co-ed and toilet/washrooms changed also, or n some cases there were separate ones but it wasn't observed in practice.

I suspect it causes plenty of problems, but I've also found that most students say they prefer co-ed spaces.

The other accommodation that was on offer was either single sex or it was mixed sex and there were individual bathrooms that only person would use at a time (like at home).

For context this was in London in the 1980s.

My first university I also shared a room with five other (female) students. One toilet and one shower between 16 of us.

By my last year, I had a room to myself that was bigger than the first. But mixed-sex showers and toilets. On balance it was still the better room. We did have very respectful guys though.

My boarding school had a huge tiled room with open showers. Not a curtain to be had. Strictly single-sex though. And no warm water in the winter more often than not.

I am curious. In the US, I believe that even the bedrooms are shared (presumably same sex). Around 10 years ago, I watched a block in London, being refurbished. It was an external facility for a US University. I could see through the windows, and noted that each room had about 3 beds in.
My DC at university had shared 'facilities', similar to a house. They had groups of around 8 students who they called their 'kitchen group'; ie, the 8 students would share the kitchen, had their own room, and had several toilets, bathrooms (shower) between them.
Newer student accommodation (youngest DC) usually have ensuite. This is because (pre lockdown), the universities often use university Halls during the summer for other events, and it is the custom now, when hiring facilities for adults to expect ensuite.

Apologies to all for how shit my typing is today, I think I need a new keyboard.

My school had a ‘corridor‘ of shower heads with no curtains

If you were clever you could pop your arms in...splash a bit onto your chest...and go under the heads so the water didnt hit you

Gym teachers wanted evidence 😀

My boarding school (single sex) had showers like that any everyone hated them. Teacher once yanked open the curtain to tell of my friend while she was mid shower and friend was so upset her dad came up to the school to complain that weekend, Most people don't like having that little privacy!

Ds1 has just told me that he would have been ok in the above scenario

Wish we’d fucking known that when we paid extra for an en-suite 😀

(He says to be far that he doesn’t want to share a bathroom like that with anyone...male or female)

That's why people are pointing out that the way US dorms are set up is different, titchy. The set-up there isn't even ideal for single sex facilities, never mind shared ones.

Fucks sake

Oopsie

No picture

Cos ive not seen it in the 15 ish unis we’ve looked at in the uk...and i know there are a lot more unis than that in the uk

Its not hard to accept that students are in mixed sex accommodation...loads of us have said that

At DD's uni most of them had en suite bathrooms, though some had shared.

When I went to uni in the dark ages, we had some single-sex and some mixed-sex halls. Nobody had en suite. However, the mixed-sex halls all had single-sex corridors - so you'd only be sharing a bathroom with people of the same sex. Having said that, lots of girls had boyfriends to stay overnight so in practice sometimes you'd see a bloke in the bathroom. I don't remember any problems, though.

So kids DO usually end up sharing a bathroom with students of the opposite sex - both mine did.

Shared by using it at the same time? Or had use of the same bathroom, shared between all flatmates, but used one after another?

There is a massive difference between the two scenarios, and it would be helpful to clarify which of the two you are describing tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

Do you mean about respecting each other's need for space? I mean just that - the boys didn't shave if one of the girls was in the shower for example. They also agreed to only use the loo to pee when someone was showering

I feel the privacy boundaries and dignity of females is paramount. Absolutely. If my dd hadn't have been happy with that set up (the example was my ds, but my dd was happy with mixed facilities, although they opened Onto the corridor), I'd have helped her argue to move. I'm not sure why you think otherwise?

I just felt the article doesn't translate very well to a UK audience, and as such lends weight to the TRA's image of women who object to sharing facilities as being rather hysterical (apols for word) given that it's the norm here in student accommodation.

Indeed. The men who would keep using men's facilities even if they had a way to access women's facilities are not the ones who're likely to pose a threat to women, as by staying in their own facilities they have already demonstrated at least some degree of respect for women's boundaries.