'Like adoptive parents, who want to be accepted as being the same as biological parents'

Is there anything these people won't appropriate to try to get their own way?

I imagine that it’s like the adoptive parents forcing those around them to accept they had actually given birth to the child when everyone knows that’s not the case.

Forcing people to accept that they biologically the child’s parents.
Finally denying or erasing the existence of the actual biological parents.

My best friend and his husband have adopted a little boy, they do not claim to know what it is like to be pregnant or give birth, they do not demand access to the maternity unit at the local hospital, they are open about the fact they are not the biological parents, they don’t want any input into local breastfeeding services nor do they demand the local midwives visit them or call their patients cis-parents.

I don't agree that there's a similarity at all, and to call adoptive parenting a legal fiction is offensive and inaccurate.

• Does 'parent' mean one who produces offspring?
• yes, that's right.
• So in what way is an adoptive parent a 'parent'?
• Well, they have the legal relationship of parent to the child, and they do all the things a parent does.
• Can you describe what that means, "all the things a parent does", without using circular definitions or resorting to stereotypes?
• Sure, it means the child is part of their family and household, they are responsible for their care and well being, food and shelter nurturing, and meeting their physical and emotional needs, making sure their educational needs are met, raising them to adulthood, being grandparent to their children, etc. etc.

• Does 'woman' mean adult human female?
• yes, that's right.
• So in what way is a transwoman a 'woman'?
• Well, if they have a GRC they have the legal designation of 'woman' and they do all the things a woman does.
• Can you describe what that means, "all the things a woman does", without using circular definitions or resorting to stereotypes?
• ... ... ... ...

Adoptive parents and biological parents are not the same though. I think anyone insisting to an adopted person that this is the case is gaslighting to some extent.

The purpose of adoption (or at least it should be) is about the welfare of the child. It doesn't exist to validate the would be adoptive parents, although arguably there have been plenty of instances in history where the lines are blurred on this.

We decided in the last couple of decades that lying to adoptees about their origins was harmful and not best practice. That doesn't negate good or happy relationships some adoptees have with their adopted parents - it helps when everyone is on the same page re what is truthful.

A legal fiction is just that really. It doesn't cancel out reality. Almost everytime I go to my GP I'm asked about my family history of XYZ. The only correct answer is I don't know. I could reel off a list of health complications my adoptive family have suffered but denying reality helps no one least of all me.

The Guardian is just Pravda now, for the trans ideology - fawning, grovelling and lying. There have been 3 or 4 articles in as many days, all trotting out the party line

if society could do the same for trans women, we’d be in a better place.”

If society would just pretend and not keep banging on about their own needs mattering too.....

Adoptive parents find it hurtful when it's implied they aren't a child's 'real' parents. On the other hand, it's become well known in adoption that the child needs to know they had biological parents, which are different to the adoptive parents, sometimes they continue to have a relationship with the biological parents through letter contact or face to face in open adoptions, and adoptive parents do not try to erase, replace or hide the fact of the existence of the biological parents. Because child's best interests are paramount.

Spot the difference: one of these things takes into account the needs and feelings of other people. One of these things accepts two different things existing side by side acknowledging and respecting difference. One of these doesn't try to lie or hide reality.

I am an adoptive parent and I read that story and thought today what a daft analogy it was. If adoptive parents did believe themselves to be the same as biological parents they’d be doing a disservice to their children and the impacts that separation from their biological parents have. Although I absolutely adore my child, I am completely aware that I am not his biological mother and it wouldn’t help him to think that I was.

I’d say we’re equally valid but different.

This analogy isn't accurate. It's more like, imagine there is a group of 'trans parents' who don't have kids but demand to be called parents anyway. They get nursery places and child tax credits - despite not having a kid. If you point out they aren't really parents because they don't have children, you are called a raging bigot and are cancelled with shrieks of 'trans parents are parents!' Trans parents claim that it's not essential to have children to be a parent - in fact, being a parent is all about feelings and self identification. If you feel like a parent you just are a parent.

Then over time the trans parents get upset with parents who have children (sorry, 'cis' parents).The cis parents keep on talking about childbirth, and pregnancy, and child care, and keep on posting pictures of their kids online. This is very triggering to trans parents, so the other parents are encouraged to change their language. Indeed, the Mumsnet logo is deeply upsetting so it is edited to remove the children - after all, it is wrong to assume that parents must have children!

Adoptive parents can't just magically self-identity as parents. They have to go through a lengthy legal process. Nor does their desire to be a parent impact on the rights of biological parents in any way.

Not an adoptive parent, but I have certainly seen adoptive parents who say it is hurtful when people say things that suggest they are "different" than biological parents.

But most seem aware of the realities. I have found, very anecdotally, that people who adopt older children rather than infants seem more comfortable with this.

Much of the fuss when it happens comes from the word "real". As in "are you the real parents?" And it's easy to see why, what does it mean that adoptive parents aren't "real?"

I think that society would agree that there is a similarity in that both are a legal fiction.
Adoptive parents understand they are not the biological parents of a child.