Jake and Hannah’s baby girl is adorable and they will grow up in a house full of love. Undoubtedly. I think they are both very keen to present themselves as beacons of hope to other trans people - that they too can have their own children via surrogacy or by birthing their own babies whilst maintaining their self-identity as fathers/husbands.
I think Jake and Hannah are an extremely exceptional trans couple. They are both successful and have done very glossy, ‘aspirational’ photo shoots. Most of the photos/videos on Jake Graf’s Instagram are of them holding and feeding their baby (I think they are doing the lion’s share of day-to-day parenting while Hannah works from home) and they look so connected and besotted.
I guess that’s testament to the fact that Jake went through the whole, traumatic procedure of having to stop testosterone so that their eggs could be harvested, and then the selection and procurement of donor sperm so that the eggs could be fertilised and the resultant embryos frozen. They said that ironically the physical features they requested/preferred that the anonymous sperm donor possess, matched closely to Hannah’s - apparently the sperm donor also worked in the science field, and Hannah has a ‘scientific’ brain. Jake was Hannah’s 1st ever date. They must believe themselves to be so incredibly lucky to have found one another. Also incredibly lucky that their embryo implantation into their surrogate mother was a success first time too.
What I’m uncomfortable about is that their connection to Mermaids means that lots of young people will look at them and think they can have all that too. When in reality, with the pressure to unquestioningly affirm trans children and prescribe puberty blockers, many, many children will not be able to have children using their own sperm or eggs. They will not have gone through their own sex’s puberty. Even if the option of coming off the blockers and harvesting eggs is offered, I remember well the CBBC programme about Leo who was a young teenage trans boy (11 or 12 I think when we first saw them?) - we saw them attending an appointment to discuss this egg harvesting procedure and they ended up in tears because they couldn’t bear to go through such an invasive procedure that involved their female sex anatomy. It really emphasised their immaturity and how detached they were from the practical realities and impact of transitioning and the long term implications. It was just too much for them. Yet taking puberty blockers and then testosterone was deemed to be within their decision-making capability?
I think this has to be discussed. But it’s hard without it being deemed to be ‘hating’ on this couple. I don’t hate Jake and Hannah at all - they look like wonderful parents. But I do wish there was more honesty about this. Jake Graf speaks directly to trans children through their involvement with Mermaids. My only hope is that their story might encourage children and parents to wait until at least 18 before taking any decisions that could irreversibly affect fertility - to encourage puberty to happen - to enable children the same chance that Jake has had to hold their own child. If this is an outcome of having role models like Jake and Hannah within the transgender community, then at least this would be something.