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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

534 replies

IronPyrites · 06/07/2020 22:06

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

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BernardBlackMissesLangCleg · 11/07/2020 08:57

Can you give an example of when women have ever been controlled in terms of their dress and behaviour as ive never witnessed this

umm, yeah. because things you've never personally witnessed definitely never happen. If a woman is oppressed in a forest
but Alisonjabub doesn't see it then women's oppression is down to them enjoying it and all feminists are big meanies - amirite?

check this out - it'll blow your mind

www.mystealthyfreedom.org/

ErrolTheDragon · 11/07/2020 08:01

The sex drive one ... yeah, men wank more often. (Personally I go for quality rather than quantity and have good impulse control)

ErrolTheDragon · 11/07/2020 07:56

The abstract on submissiveness didn't really seem to be saying it was women's preferred role, did it? And taking that role if it wasn't their preference reduced sexual satisfaction. Not sure what point you're trying to make with that one tbh. The abstract didn't explore why this happens if it's detrimental .... power imbalance is still my best guess.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/07/2020 07:48

Can you give an example of when women have ever been controlled in terms of their dress and behaviour as ive never witnessed this?

Seriously?ConfusedHmm

You, now, in 21st century Britain, may never have had your dress and behaviours curtailed but surely you must realise that this basic right is the product of feminist actions and is relatively recent, and not universal even here and now?

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong · 11/07/2020 07:26

@Alisonjabub

Someone upthread, sorry I can't remember who put it best. our socialisation is damaging our deelopment and our sexuality.

I dont think our sexual nature is going to sway much because of society, after having developed over millions of years.

You underestimate the influence of online porn.

The western birth rate will plummet in ten years or so due to erectile dysfunction.

Alisonjabub · 11/07/2020 06:27

Someone upthread, sorry I can't remember who put it best. our socialisation is damaging our deelopment and our sexuality.

I dont think our sexual nature is going to sway much because of society, after having developed over millions of years.

CUCKlicenseFee · 11/07/2020 05:39

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Alisonjabub · 11/07/2020 05:34

Interesting" idea that men who act respectful towards women are weak, btw.

Indeed, i would have said that was part of being competent.

Call me whatever you like (Floral usually works) but my feminism has fuck all to do with cossetting the cultural norms associated with heterosexual male sexuality. No shits wasted if any given man never has an orgasm again, actually.

How awful, what a horrible thing to say. How can anyone expect to be treat with respect with such a foul attitude towards the sex that makes up 50% of our children?
How many women go gaga over the classic "dad with new baby" type images we see every time a sleb reproduces? Everyone screes cos a man is showing tenderness to his own newborn. It's what he's supposed to do! Maybe those who like 'em dominant would prefer them to swing them by the feet into the nearest wall? Would that be assertive enough?

Competence would presumably be the most attractive quality, this shouldn't be confused with power or tyranny which ironically is a common trait with weak men.

Alisonjabub · 11/07/2020 04:57

Sex drive higher in men than women;

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22552705/

Submissiveness;

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167211430088

Theres the couple of sources from the countless studies done, although why anyone would require a source when this is generally stuff thats not disputed i dont know.

Alisonjabub · 11/07/2020 04:35

@PlanDeRaccordement

societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general.

This i do agree with because fear of male sexuality has been society’s excuse to control women’s dress and behaviour. Because men’s sexual urges are portrayed as beyond their control, it then justifies forcing women into dressing modestly, not walking alone at night, making sure you say NO, etc and if the woman fails at any of these she is held responsible for her own rape.

I personally think the bias against male sexuality is for same reason as much different bias but still is against female sexuality- to control and subjugate women.

Can you give an example of when women have ever been controlled in terms of their dress and behaviour as ive never witnessed this?

No one has ever 'forced me not to walk alone or to dress modestly, how awful! I would suggest it may be a good idea to say NO if ever someone does try to get you to do any of these things and it isn't what you want as you're generally expected to signal in some way as to what your intentions are in any situation.

FloralBunting · 10/07/2020 23:54

I'm tall for a woman. I don't care if she could fit in my pocket.

And I don't think you're all taking my need to marry Gillian Anderson seriously.

Which, tbh, is perfectly sensible of you, as is not making the needs of male heterosexuality a thing for feminists. Look at me wims, drunk posting leery shite about my crush and still bringing it back on topic.

Boom.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/07/2020 23:47

DH passed Gillian on an escalator once. Tiny he says. I'll get him to pitch you to her if it happens again @Florabunting

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 23:46

Want a koala to make up for it? Maybe you can sand the stairs with it?

FloralBunting · 10/07/2020 23:42

Oh my good god this thread is so bad. Now I'm never going to be able to use hair product ever again. And thus be Andersonless for ever. You're all mean.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/07/2020 23:39

@FloralBunting

This is absolutely the last time I open a thread referencing heterosexual male sexuality.
You're a SERF. Slug excluding, well you get the rest. Grin
ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 23:36

I reckon you might be able to repurpose slug slime for rockabilly hair? And thus win the heart of Gillian Anderson.*

Glad you enjoyed the slugs, Permanent!

*don't quote me on this.

PermanentTemporary · 10/07/2020 23:35

I know what I need. Blooming lockdown [sulks, celibately]

LillianBland · 10/07/2020 23:30

@PermanentTemporary

Oh Scrimp I'm so pleased I watched the slugs, that's really lovely.

And oddly erotic

I think you need an intervention. 😯
ErrolTheDragon · 10/07/2020 23:29

I didn't watch the video; I've seen leopard slugs mating on Springwatch when DD was much younger. Their hermaphroditism was no surprise to her - the first book she ever chose in Reception to bring home for me to read to her was 'The Life Cycle of the Snail'. One of a series - butterflies of course, can't remember what else.

FloralBunting · 10/07/2020 22:51

There are just things I don't need to know. Male heterosexuality, invertebrate snuggles, what motivates furries, why people believe the moon landing was faked.

I need to open threads that tell me the best way to get that rockabilly thing going with my hair, why Captain America is such an interesting hero and counterpoint to Iron Man, how to sand my stair case and foolproof methods of marrying Gillian Anderson. FWR is slacking at all of this.

PermanentTemporary · 10/07/2020 22:46

Oh Scrimp I'm so pleased I watched the slugs, that's really lovely.

And oddly erotic

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 22:36

Whaddabout invertebrate sexuality, Floral?

FloralBunting · 10/07/2020 22:20

This is absolutely the last time I open a thread referencing heterosexual male sexuality.

LillianBland · 10/07/2020 22:17

Oh lord. I feel like a madam with a plastic brothel. 😳

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/07/2020 22:13

Ooh, you might have specimens mating in the bucket, Lillian!!