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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

534 replies

IronPyrites · 06/07/2020 22:06

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

OP posts:
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ErrolTheDragon · 13/07/2020 09:18

Do you deny that society is structured around the Male default or do you just think that women shouldn't drive cars? That women don't actually need pain relief after heart surgery?

If you don't understand that comment, you probably need to read (or at least read about) 'Invisible Women'.

Michelleoftheresistance · 13/07/2020 09:08

If you still feel like you need additional rights above that of men to move forward in the world

Yes there were a few things in your post that were a bit rude to put it mildly, but perhaps you'd like to unpick this one a little further: what 'additional' rights above men do you feel these awful, desperate, reeking feminists are trying to gain exactly?

Equal pay?
The right to single sex spaces?
Equality of health care?
Equality of justice?
Equality of political representation?

Which of these exactly would be 'more' than male humans have?

Michelleoftheresistance · 13/07/2020 09:04

I'm a woman, and I feel like we have equality now.

Then I'd suggest, respectfully, that you haven't given it nearly enough thought. Female humans absolutely do not have equality even in this country, never mind in countries across the world. I'd suggest reading around this board and the articles of feminists leading the conversation and see what the issues are, and why female people are experiencing them. There's plenty of female voices on the subject.

midgebabe · 13/07/2020 08:02

In what way has feminism won the war?

Are you thinking globally or just in one country?

Do you deny that a pay gap exist? Or do you believe that is just women's choices?
Do you deny that men use their physical strength to hurt, rape and control women? Or do you believe that women cause just as much pain to men through nagging and bitchy comments ?
Do you deny that society is structured around the Male default or do you just think that women shouldn't drive cars? That women don't actually need pain relief after heart surgery? That women don't need to be well represented in parliament?

ErrolTheDragon · 13/07/2020 07:46

I'm a woman, and I feel like we have equality now

Many of us used to blithely think that. Maybe you, personally, do. But try looking at the lives of other women, both in the U.K. and elsewhere.

Alisonjabub · 13/07/2020 04:58

@Michelleoftheresistance

So females may try for equality if they're nice about it and don't offend men?

I don't think you've thought through what equality really is.

I'm a woman, and I feel like we have equality now. In fact i think if anything feminism reeks of desperation today in some ways by still trying to continue fighting a battle we've already won and flaming tensions were we need not.

If you still feel like you need additional rights above that of men to move forward in the world today then its likely its you thats doing something wrong and not a result of being disadvantaged or not on a level par with men.

FloralBunting · 12/07/2020 21:11

I think they are both hilarious in different ways. Unless you're Gillian Anderson, I have no plans to come for you, and even as one of them nasty lesbian feminist types, there are plenty of men who I like. World tilting, for some, I know. Grin

terryleather · 12/07/2020 21:07

I am so pleased you said that Floral.

Now I can admit to my love of both Ron Swanson and Ron Burgundy - don't come for me! Grin

FloralBunting · 12/07/2020 21:00

To be fair, I actually really like Ron Swanson. But the deadpan delivery just works so well. Ron Burgundy was definitely even better.

Dervel · 12/07/2020 20:40

Given the great Ron Swanson has been name checked I figured this was appropriate:

Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality
TehBewilderness · 12/07/2020 20:07

@inthelounge

I am a man.

OP makes a valid point. Feminism covers a range of views, but I have always felt a difference between those who seem to want simply to have equality for women, and those who seem to focus on hating men.

2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.

No decent human being wants equality.

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread." Anatole France

PumbaasCucumbas · 12/07/2020 20:01

Maybe he just plopped by to make his manly pronouncement.

BernardBlackMissesLangCleg · 12/07/2020 19:07

I see chappie hasn't returned to expand upon why feminists should give two shits about his view that some of them focus on hating men

were we supposed to apologise or summat? I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve really.....

FloralBunting · 12/07/2020 18:52

Yes, to be fair, I definitely appreciate the signposting involved in announcing the male sex of the person with the negative opinion of feminism. I am thereby liberated from giving the opinion any weight.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2020 18:45

I think we're being a little unfair. In the context of FWR, a poster's sex is relevant. I'm not sure what form of words is ideal - 'I am a man' is, IMO, better than an announcement of 'Man here!' or the like.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/07/2020 18:26

Does anyone remember StewieGriffinsMum? I AM A CANADIAN. It's a bit like that, but for men.

I'm still not super understanding why feminism has to be adapted for men. If only a man could explain why we should rather than just telling us we should.

I know Dervel can't. Advanced case of Stockholm syndrome from hanging out here too long.

wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 12/07/2020 18:20

It's so boring being told feminism isn't nice enough.

Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality
NearlyGranny · 12/07/2020 18:01

🤣🤣🤣

Thank you, Kitten!

Michelleoftheresistance · 12/07/2020 17:57

Is it just me that reads every post that starts 'I am a man' in a deadpan Roy Swanson style voice?

Grin

To me, it's always that snuffly, nasal voice from the Navy Lark, that used to start phone calls with "this is Intelligence speaking".

FloralBunting · 12/07/2020 17:53
PAND0RA · 12/07/2020 17:51

😬@TheProdigalKittensReturn

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 12/07/2020 17:34

I hear this. Floral.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/07/2020 17:29

If one man doesn't see 'man hating', yet another man claims to... maybe it's something the latter man is doing which some women dislike?

FloralBunting · 12/07/2020 17:14

Is it just me that reads every post that starts 'I am a man' in a deadpan Roy Swanson style voice?

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 12/07/2020 13:45

You know, if a man was intelligent he could in theory learn things that might be useful to him from these conversations, about what women tend to be attracted to in men and thus how to go about attracting us.

Or he could tell us what we're meant to like and sulk when we don't agree. His choice, really.