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Original poster

Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

534 replies

IronPyrites · 06/07/2020 22:06

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

OP posts:
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TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 23:49

Now you've made me tell you to fuck off twice in one evening Scrimp, I'm more disappointed than angry.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 07/07/2020 23:46

Okay, I take it back! It's not your fragrant feet, Tinsel! I'm a bit scared to suggest it because I think someone might report my post, but have you tried (cotton) socks with them?

TehBewilderness · 07/07/2020 23:38

@TinselAngel

Tinsel, if your feet are extremely smelly it's probably a fungal thing. Which can be a bugger to get rid of, and tbh I suspect is at least partly to do with gut flora. In the meantime, I'd try the mycil footpowders.

Fuck off I haven't got fungal feet! Birkenstock's being a bit smelly is a thing!

I used to spritz them with 99% alcohol. My feet rarely ever smelled but for reasons of being made of leather my berkies often did.
TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 23:35

Rum punch ain't just a cocktail 😘

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 07/07/2020 23:34

Errol. I had toe socks as a present in about 1975.They felt a bit weird tbh.
Back to the men and getting laid thing. Was only explaining to DH recently, when he plainly hadn't listened to something I'd said, one of the most successful blokes I know with women... No looker, but really listens when women are talking. No mansplaining. Gets a lot of sex (that he doesn't talk about) and regularly appears to be punching well above his weight physically. He should run courses maybe? 😉

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 07/07/2020 23:31

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt ...

TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 23:24

Tinsel, if your feet are extremely smelly it's probably a fungal thing. Which can be a bugger to get rid of, and tbh I suspect is at least partly to do with gut flora. In the meantime, I'd try the mycil footpowders.

Fuck off I haven't got fungal feet! Birkenstock's being a bit smelly is a thing!

CoffeeTeaChocolate · 07/07/2020 23:18

Hang in there OP - and do stick around. If you have the self insight and courage to apologise like that (and the bravery to post something like your first post on the FWR), I think there is a lot of hope for you Smile.

And this thread was a hilarious read this morning. I loved the replies Grin

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 07/07/2020 23:08

Yes, I hope you feel better soon, OP. Loneliness is no fun. You seem thoughtful, and it's brave to have come back and apologised. Wishing you well.

Tinsel, if your feet are extremely smelly it's probably a fungal thing. Which can be a bugger to get rid of, and tbh I suspect is at least partly to do with gut flora. In the meantime, I'd try the mycil footpowders.

HeistSociety · 07/07/2020 22:57

Female

HeistSociety · 07/07/2020 22:57

OP, that was a decent apology.
Hang in there; loneliness isn't a male/fake thing, but it really sucks. I reckon there's a weight off, though, when you get to the root of what you're actually feeling. Isms can distract us from what's going on individually. Hope things improve.

TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 22:52

Tinsel, have you tried athlete's foot powder and leaving them out in the sunlight, which is the best disinfectant, as the saying goes ...

Is athletes foot powder particularly de-smellificating?

TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 22:51

Or are they that smelly 👀

googledontknow · 07/07/2020 22:28

@MrsTerryPratchett

Oooo a thread for my theory.

Bear with me... If feminists actually got what they wanted, men would get laid much more. As a young woman, I would have had a LOT more sex with randoms if I knew that they wouldn't:

  1. Kill me
  2. Shame me
  3. Force types of sex on me I didn't want
  4. Ignore my pleasure for theirs.

Take heed men, if you want a lot of sex, tackle male violence. Also, prioritise learning how to actually give women pleasure rather than watching porn with a lot of male weird shit.

nice, attractive, kind, funny men are getting laid by feminists every day. Every day.

Omg...this!
LesNot · 07/07/2020 22:26

Lurker delurking to thank the women of FWR for making my day just a little bit better. And for the masterclass in maintaining boundaries.

RufustheRowlingReindeer · 07/07/2020 22:11

Tinsel, have you tried athlete's foot powder and leaving them out in the sunlight, which is the best disinfectant, as the saying goes

Or don’t put them up to your nose...

Or are they that smelly Grin

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 07/07/2020 22:06

OP, I don't feel insulted, you don't need to worry. Most of us are here because we want women to be free from, for example: Domestic violence and abuse; FGM; infanticide; rape & sexual assault; misogyny and sexism.

Someone coming on and asking a bit of a silly question isn't going to upset people.

Tinsel, have you tried athlete's foot powder and leaving them out in the sunlight, which is the best disinfectant, as the saying goes ...

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 07/07/2020 22:04

Here’s a tip for you IronPyrites; hang with that attitude of self-reflection and actually listening to what people say, and you’ll make friends. Some of them might even be women. I can’t make any guarantees about romantic outcome, but friends are always good to have.

RufustheRowlingReindeer · 07/07/2020 21:58

Don’t worry iron

Hang around

TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 21:36

Oh this is awkward. I'm the only one still talking about feet.

Michelleoftheresistance · 07/07/2020 21:30

Inebriati that link deserves a thread of its own.

Original poster
IronPyrites · 07/07/2020 21:21

*I get what the Op was trying to express, and I agree that there there does seem to be a lot of generalised anti-man feeling within certain strands of feminism. It really turns me off too.

Now that equal legal & civil rights have been won, I'm minded to see it as just another form of oppositional identity politics......positioning women as perpetual victims, and men as perpetual baddies; whilst simultaneously denying there are any real differences between the sexes, other than those that are socially constructed.

I never expected to feel and respond in this way when I signed up here - but it does seem in the nature of identity politics to create this kind of polarisation*

I know you are trying to agree with me, but the thing is, I was wrong. I was hamfistedly trying to suggest that feminism should try harder to show they weren't against all male sexuality. I cannot really express why I said this, other than honestly I probably was feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself and looking for some kind of validation. While I more or less got the opposite, and it wasn't exactly enjoyable to read the responses, honestly, really, they were right. I have low self-esteem and coming on here to try and somehow raise it from people I don't know and will never meet is pretty pathetic and insulting to people who are genuinely trying to do good in the world, and help others who have problems caused by the misbehaviour of some men. At least you didn't do what I did, and I hope there's some food for thought here for you.

OP posts:
TinselAngel · 07/07/2020 21:16

Speaking of comfy shoes, does anybody have any tips for stopping Birkenstock's being smelly? (I'm assuming it's not just me).

Justhadathought · 07/07/2020 21:02

I get what the Op was trying to express, and I agree that there there does seem to be a lot of generalised anti-man feeling within certain strands of feminism. It really turns me off too.

Now that equal legal & civil rights have been won, I'm minded to see it as just another form of oppositional identity politics......positioning women as perpetual victims, and men as perpetual baddies; whilst simultaneously denying there are any real differences between the sexes, other than those that are socially constructed.

I never expected to feel and respond in this way when I signed up here - but it does seem in the nature of identity politics to create this kind of polarisation.

TehBewilderness · 07/07/2020 20:41

I had not though beyond being concerned about the disappointment that gender critical reddit users would feel if they came here in hopes of being able to speak freely with other women about their experiences.

There is an entire subreddit full of misogynists dedicated to harassing women looking for a new place where their "opposing views" will be welcome.
Reef sail and batten down the hatches cuz we are in for it.

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