Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

The hyper competent alpha male is pure fiction. You only get good at things by fucking up and failing a lot. You also can’t be an expert at everything, so at some stage everyone has to learn to shut the fuck up and follow someone who knows what they are doing. It is true confidence goes a long way, but the same holds true for women also.

I do think sex has become and has been dysfunctional for a long time. It should if nothing else be pleasurable, but we’re all so programmed (both men and women) it has become a playground for our shadows in the psychological sense. Men with an over inflated sense of self, ego and entitlement, in a space with all too many women with wrecked self esteem is a recipe for disaster.

I hear all too often from women how any given man is not that bad, or could be worse. Although it is nice to hear occasionally when they find one they define by his virtues and how good he is for them, and yes sometimes by how good he is in bed!

Men are socialised for take advantage, and women are socialised to be taken advantage of. I believe this socialisation goes against human nature.

Yeah, because the biggest issue facing women now is caring for the feelz of sexually frustrated men. As if the rest of the world isn't solely focussed on them. Jesus Christ.

That's a really interesting article Scrimpshaw. I hope the OP is still around and reads it too, it's pretty fair.

This article mentions a couple of studies on the 'alpha male' myth. Looks quite pertinent, tho I don't have time to read the whole thing right now.

greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_male

There ps also a problem that there are quite a few who have those alleged 'alpha' traits but unfortunately lack competence. Quite a lot of political leaders spring to mind - too many nowadays haven't put in the serious work required to be competent in science, technology, stats which lead to crap decision making in today's world.

There's some glaringly obvious examples at the moment, unfortunately.

It would describe a lot of athletes too, wouldn't it? Female and male. Nobody gets to the Olympics by being afraid to compete.

An alpha male is a dominant, competant, strong man who can be aggressive when required and isn't afraid to compete against other men. Who sees himself as a dominant man and instigates leadership.

Aren't quite a lot of such people now considered to have psychopathic traits? Which, if their energies are positively directed, isn't necessarily a negative. Eg some surgeons, CEOs.

I'm not sure such traits are specific to men, but they're more likely to be lauded in a man than in a woman.

I don't know a single man who is "invincible" in my real life and can therefore cope with absolutely anything and everything. Those that try to, they eventually snap. I was just responding to the very sincere explanation offered as to what an Alpha male is a wee while ago. The problem is that somehow men have this impression that they're not allowed to be vulnerable human beings capable of "softer" feelings such as sadness or anxiety.

Well, BigGee, the US Special forces man that I mentioned was really struggling to deal with severe anxiety and PTSD. Just to note that the idea some men are 'invincible' is really utter nonsense, and harmful nonsense, too.

I've always found dominant men to be insecure weaklings in actual reality. Not tolerating criticism, quick to resort to fists and desperately in need of constant reassurance and validation that yes, sweetie, you DO look impressive behind the wheel of whatever vehicle fills your particular void.

I think the alpha male thing is about gorillas. Or something. It's not an argument that's used much, these days.

I was once told by a US special forces bloke that I was an 'alpha female' - which I would have preened about had it not been clearly made-up bollocks. Maybe its another one of these American cultural myths that just don't make much sense anywhere else.

I know what you mean OP. Its become a battle of women vs men for some feminists, and the funny thing is they often couldnt care less about other women, its as long as they get to win whatever game theyre playing.

I consider myself a feminist but I'd be unable to give a single of how our system is 'set up' to provide for men, as it provides for both sexes, and does a reasonable job at doing that.

We need to cut back on the anti-men rhetoric, especially when half our our children are men it really isnt going to benefit them.

I don’t even know what an “Alpha” male is.

I have worked with several colleagues who were ex-special services of various kinds. Are they alpha males? In which case alpha males appear to be efficient and capable people with excellent communication skills. I don’t imagine you have to be SAS to emulate those qualities.

I’ve never really understood what men mean by alpha males: wolf packs are led by a “head couple; male lions live in coalitions with other males; stallions might have a harem, but there will be a dominant mare who controls herd movement, and young stallions live in bachelor herds. The dominant male narrative has no real parallel in nature - it seems to be about as achievable and desirable a goal for men as Barbie is for women.

I’ve never heard women speculating on their innate mareishness or how they fit into a pride.

How sad for her. See OP? Women's spirits get crushed too. You're whining about not getting your leg over, here's a woman who spent her entire life being squashed cos one of you DID get his leg over and waltzed off on his merry way.

Apparently she was a lot of fun when she was younger but it got her into trouble (my mum) and when her husband agreed to take them both on she had to “behave” and he wore her down so she was the ice queen by the time we came along
When her husband was in hospital dying she started to shine ( was in her mid 70’s by then) and was making plans to enjoy life again but sadly she died suddenly not long after him
Sorry, bit depressing

Oh that's sad, my granny was an absolute hoot. Seriously bad influence. Was a member of the Temperance Society who decided that sherry didn't count and got squiffy at every wedding or party.

BigGee do love a Nan with a sense of humour, sadly mine was a miserable old bat

If I have to take one for the team, it'd be Keanu Reeves or, if I'm feeling like someone fresher, Sam Clafin, as he's cute.

Nan??? Man! It's meant to say man! Frigging autocucumber

Remind me again why it's women who are expected to clean up the mess?

I personally will always be drawn to a nan who makes me laugh, who listens to me, who considers me, who treats me like a human.

I'll do:

Keanu Reeves in floppy sleeves
Jamie Foxx in Birkenstocks
Steve Buscemi in a mankini.

Stop it scrimp you are making me come over all unnecessary

The Rock wearing Crocs
Jason Mamoa in a Feather Boa
Antonio Banderas in Suspenderas

Hoppinggreen, your sacrifice is noted and appreciated.