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Original poster

Trying to understand the hate trans people get on here.

709 replies

Kelcat9494 · 05/07/2020 11:35

Hello,

Firstly I want to say I am not attacking anyone on this forum and I expect the same respect as we are all entitled to an opinion and I am genuinely interested in the reasons why transgender people get so much hate on here:

Firstly I see a lot about not wanting to share bathrooms with trans women as it's a women's safe space - I don't really understand this because to be honest when I'm sat in the cubicle doing my business, I don't think about the persons genitals next to me, it's all very private as you know. The only thing we'd share is the sinks and I don't see a problem with that really. I did read a post about a abuse survivor not wanting to the share the bathroom with someone with a penis (I'm really sorry that the person went through the abuse but that isn't trans people's fault, the fault is with the abuser alone) but in reality a trans person is more at risk in the bathroom and you have no idea whether they are pre op or post op as again in the bathrooms I've been in we don't show each other our genitalia. They are genuinely just doing their human business in the same room as you so don't understand the problem, actually I suppose people are afraid some odd men would use being transgender as an excuse to use the woman's bathroom but that's not trans women's fault also by this logic if we don't want trans women in the bathroom then we should have transmen in there (either pre op or post op), I've posted some pictures below of transmen and woman, would you really want the trans women in men's bathroom and the transmen in the womens?? (I can only post three but you get my point).

I know JKRowling posted about periods and a lot of people jumped on it to say only women have periods and whatever, this isn't true though is it? Some biological women aren't able to have periods or carry a pregnancy or be able to give birth so if we don't see that as a problem as we recognise it's a biological issue then why is trans-men having a period a problem and trans women not having one an issue? And who actually cares? There's enough tampax to go around, maybe let's focus on making them free for women and transmen as I for one is sick of paying for a "luxury item" I need every month due to no fault of my own.

I can't think of anymore off the top of my head that's been posted but anything in the comments I'm happy to reply to but I genuinely think this forum needs to consider what transgender people actually go through, imagine not feeling like you're in the right body, being attacked and hated for who you are and it's obviously not for fun and games because transgender people actually commit suicide over the issues they face remember #bekind and really think how sharing a bathroom or sharing a tampax would affect you? I don't think you'd kill yourself over it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Deliriumoftheendless · 06/07/2020 21:43

In fact that might not have been to me. Sorry. Ignore me. I’m tired.

Deliriumoftheendless · 06/07/2020 21:42

@Fearandsurprise

I was posting before your latest message appeared.
Yeah I saw the time of posting but when people are reading through it’s easy to miss that and look like random attacks. Bad timing on my part!
LillianBland · 06/07/2020 21:39

It sounds like you’ve been going through a really stressful time OP, but I’m so glad things seem to be picking up for you and your husband.

Also, well done for staying on the thread as so many OPs slink off into the night, when they get their arse handed to them. Grin I used to wonder why the GC feminists couldn’t just be ‘kind’ too, but once your eyes are opened to what is really going on, you’ll understand the risks.

Be warned, with that realisation, you might end up feeling very emotional because some of the stuff you will learn, might horrify you. If it gets too much, take a break, but don’t leave for good and ignore what is happening. Good luck.

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 21:37

@StripeyBananas

OP, why do you keep calling public toilets "bathrooms"?
It's just what I call them, I've always said "I'm going to the bathroom" and I've never thought anything of it, after all these comments though I am feeling a bit self conscious about it now haha
OP posts:
StripeyBananas · 06/07/2020 21:34

OP, why do you keep calling public toilets "bathrooms"?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 06/07/2020 21:33

Not to mention the most recent! Good luck with it all, Kelcat.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 06/07/2020 21:31

Mascotte
Is the Op a she?

Yes, unless she is a total and consistent liar, which seems improbable, and which I don't believe going by all her posts rather than just fixating on the first one. -- In which she did say on the subject of tampax I for one is sick of paying for a "luxury item" I need every month due to no fault of my own, which seems like a woman's complaint about the matter to me.

Impatiens · 06/07/2020 21:30

@HandsOffMyRights

Did you mean the Mermaids/Tesco Boycott thread in AIBU? It hasn't been deleted, just got to 1000 posts so finished.

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 21:30

Also please mind some spelling mistakes in previous post, I don't know why autocorrect sometimes corrects the right words - I mean smugness and knotting Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 21:28

@Fearandsurprise

I don't have an opinion at the moment until I can properly educate myself on the matter.

OP, you started a thread using

  • goady language about hate,
  • logic failure about the difference between “all women” and “only women” having periods, and
  • patronising language about needing to #bekind, without any consideration that kindness needs to work both ways.

I mean this gently, but don’t you think it might have been useful if you had read up on this a bit more before starting the thread? There is plenty of information on this board.

I will hold back from further comments about your lack of thought about this, as I’ve realised, from seeing your posts on other threads (apologies for spotting the connection but I think it might be worth pointing out to others on the thread), that you seem to be going through a potentially challenging time (early pregnancy, money worries) and don’t want to add to your emotional burden. Best wishes to you.

I know you posted this before my latest update but just to add context to the additional posts, my husband did lose his job on Friday but we got extremely lucky and he applied for a job on Saturday and has started it today, it's only in a warehouse and temporary but it'll tide us over until he can find something more stable. Yesterday I cut all my hair off with kitchen scissors as I couldn't for the life in me prevent it from knitting and dreading and just being generally awful, it doesn't look great but I have booked a hairdressing appointment in for the Thursday so I hope he can save the day (won't be cutting my own hair again haha) I had a private scan on Saturday and baby seems happy and healthy up to now.

But none of that excuses my post, I posted without being well educated, I had a snugness about me like I knew something people didn't and thought I had the answers and I didn't, there's two sides to everything and I failed to see that, it's an important lesson to learn and hopefully if I post in here again they will be well educated, intelligent posts :)

OP posts:
Fearandsurprise · 06/07/2020 21:19

I was posting before your latest message appeared.

Deliriumoftheendless · 06/07/2020 21:18

That’s a general remark, not directed the the poster above me btw. I’m not here to fight.

Mascotte · 06/07/2020 21:17

Is the Op a she?

Deliriumoftheendless · 06/07/2020 21:17

I don’t think the OP needs to keep apologising, she’s already said she will read more and see the rest of the picture.

I think that’s fair.

Fearandsurprise · 06/07/2020 21:16

I don't have an opinion at the moment until I can properly educate myself on the matter.

OP, you started a thread using

  • goady language about hate,
  • logic failure about the difference between “all women” and “only women” having periods, and
  • patronising language about needing to #bekind, without any consideration that kindness needs to work both ways.

I mean this gently, but don’t you think it might have been useful if you had read up on this a bit more before starting the thread? There is plenty of information on this board.

I will hold back from further comments about your lack of thought about this, as I’ve realised, from seeing your posts on other threads (apologies for spotting the connection but I think it might be worth pointing out to others on the thread), that you seem to be going through a potentially challenging time (early pregnancy, money worries) and don’t want to add to your emotional burden. Best wishes to you.

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 21:15

I'd just like to say as I know people may be coming to this thread without reading the whole thing (I don't blame you, it's so long but is worth it if you have time to!) I take full responsibility for my original post of course but I can't take responsibility for what people think I have said and I'm not being rude when I say this, it's just I'll be here forever trying to explain over and over again, I am only explaining my original thought process not defending it in any way.
At the moment I'll be very honest I'm confused and having a bit of an internal dilemma in the sense I live by the "do no harm, let people do them and mind your own business" which I now realise isn't the correct attitude because even though it may not harm me doesn't mean it's not harming other people.
My stance at the moment is I have no solid opinion on these issues because I have a lot of research to do (I understand completely every comment I've read and I've saved a few along with sources) , once fully educated I can form an opinion I feel is correct for myself, as I used bucks picture I am having a look through his twitter as I watch some tv to get an insight, thought it was a good place to start!

I may post again when I feel I've got an educated opinion to see how it differs from my original post. People can change their minds when new information is presented so I'm going to try and research as much as I can! I do feel like my eyes have been opened though, I must admit.

Thank you everyone :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 20:55

@OldCrone

I didn't say the men's bathroom was dangerous, I said trans people were more at risk and I meant in either bathroom

More at risk compared to other people of the same sex? Or people of the opposite sex? Who are you comparing trans people to when you say they are 'more at risk'?

And do you think public toilets are a particularly dangerous environment in general? Are there men who lie in wait in public toilets for unsuspecting people to come in to use them just so they can beat them up? What sort of environment are these toilets in?

Again I was referring to my original post and what was meant originally. I don't have an opinion at the moment until I can properly educate myself on the matter.
OP posts:
OldCrone · 06/07/2020 20:53

I didn't say the men's bathroom was dangerous, I said trans people were more at risk and I meant in either bathroom

More at risk compared to other people of the same sex? Or people of the opposite sex? Who are you comparing trans people to when you say they are 'more at risk'?

And do you think public toilets are a particularly dangerous environment in general? Are there men who lie in wait in public toilets for unsuspecting people to come in to use them just so they can beat them up? What sort of environment are these toilets in?

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 20:42

@BilboBercow

I find it interesting op that as someone who is "just learning and wants to understand" that you've posted a picture of Buck Angel, who has become the "gotcha" of choice for TRA's on Twitter as a "passing" transman. Ironically Buck is Gender Critical, completely accepting that they will always be female, and is horrified by the behaviour of the recent breed of Trans Activists towards women online.
It was a google image, I didn't know who he/they was - I was originally using his picture as a "surely seeing this gentleman in the bathroom would be more alarming". I wasn't educated when I posted the thread quite clearly, reading through the comments has opened my eyes to a different side of the coin, the one I wasn't really aware of.
OP posts:
BilboBercow · 06/07/2020 20:38

I find it interesting op that as someone who is "just learning and wants to understand" that you've posted a picture of Buck Angel, who has become the "gotcha" of choice for TRA's on Twitter as a "passing" transman.

Ironically Buck is Gender Critical, completely accepting that they will always be female, and is horrified by the behaviour of the recent breed of Trans Activists towards women online.

Fearandsurprise · 06/07/2020 20:30

I didn't say the men's bathroom was dangerous, I said trans people were more at risk and I meant in either bathroom

OP - so you are differentiating between men’s toilets and all toilets? I’d assumed you were talking about the difference between “at risk of. physical abuse” and “dangerous”. Apologies for my misunderstanding.

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 20:29

@deepwatersolo

I am sorry if I have misrepresented your position. The problem I have with these types of discussions is that they typically at the same time imply that male violence isn't a thing and that transwomen need to use women's restrooms to protect themselves from male violence.

(You latest post reads to me like you don't see the elephant in the room also known as male violence, irrespective of gender. But I didn't read the whole thread, so maybe I've missed something.)

I was referring to my original post, I am well aware of male violence but it's not what I stated in my original post, as mentioned I have read through a lot of the replies on this thread, unfortunately not yet all of them but I have a few I want to look into more and educate myself on this matter.
OP posts:
deepwatersolo · 06/07/2020 20:24

As for women who don't have periods, or who have some other problem like being unable to get pregnant, this doesn't make them any less female.

Wait, it isn't lipstick and nail polish that makes a woman a woman? Pretty sure this type of talk is heresy these days.

Original poster
Kelcat9494 · 06/07/2020 20:23

@Fearandsurprise

OP The phrase “at risk” of verbal or physical abuse seems pretty much the same as “dangerous” in this context. Reference: Cambridge online dictionary.
? - I was making the point I didn't say the men's bathroom was dangerous, I said trans people were more at risk and I meant in either bathroom. Since then I've realised my original post was naive and I was misinformed and misguided, this thread has been incredibly helpful and when I have a free day, I've screenshotted some of the replies I'd like to look into more.
OP posts:
deepwatersolo · 06/07/2020 20:20

I am sorry if I have misrepresented your position. The problem I have with these types of discussions is that they typically at the same time imply that male violence isn't a thing and that transwomen need to use women's restrooms to protect themselves from male violence.

(You latest post reads to me like you don't see the elephant in the room also known as male violence, irrespective of gender. But I didn't read the whole thread, so maybe I've missed something.)