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Original poster

12 yr old DD. Gender Dysphoria, sudden announcement

136 replies

Motherofajuggernaut · 30/06/2020 07:32

Hi
Title says it all really
Dd has just announced she is gender Dysphoric
We're all at sea

Not even sure where to begin.
Our reluctance to accept this carte blanche has been accusing of being transphobic. We're not but we are asking for time and open mindedness from ourselves and her.
It's clear there's been a lot of external social influence. Especially since lockdown, she's struggled to engage with school in any meaningful way and has been highly anxious.
She decided to break the news on the day of a family funeral where due to social distancing and travel etc only my husband attended when we would normally have all been there. Maximum impact
She came out in December as a lesbian we didn't skip a beat, sexuall preference is a non issue for us.
But now this...

We simply don't know where to begin

OP posts:
rogdmum · 30/06/2020 08:10

Mermaids push affirmation as the only acceptable path. Watchful waiting remains a valid option, and even the Tavistock don’t recommend social transition before a child is seen by them- I’d be very wary of Mermaids. Bayswater Support Group have kept me sane over the past 9 months: www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/ or @BayswaterSG on Twitter

justanotherneighinparadise · 30/06/2020 08:04

You can’t push back against it OP. The online forces are too strong. In your position I’d keep the dialogue going and get as educated as you can as to where she’s hanging out online. Transgender Trend is an excellent resource.

Try and get ahead of it as to what she/he’s going to start requesting. Binders for example, potentially hormones to disrupt puberty. Really find out where this is heading and see what you can do to ease her anxiety around her changing body.

This lockdown time has been pernicious for our kids. Online life is nothing like real life and they’ve spent far too much time on screens (including my own).

OhHolyJesus · 30/06/2020 08:03

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Beerincomechampagnetastes · 30/06/2020 08:01

having read a bit more I'm sceptical of the programs rhetoric

Listen to your instincts op.

EmpressLangClegSpartacus · 30/06/2020 08:01

This thread is probably worth a read www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3943022-Newsnight-Tonight-Tavistock-Clinic-concerns and I’m another one who strongly recommends bayswatersupport.org.uk or
transgendertrend.com. Make sure you get the right site though - there’s a fake site called transgender-trend running Google ads.

Finfintytint · 30/06/2020 07:57

Avoid Mermaids like the plague.

EmpressLangClegSpartacus · 30/06/2020 07:57

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Original poster
Motherofajuggernaut · 30/06/2020 07:52

I have applied to be part of Mermaids parent support group.
But having read a bit more I'm sceptical of the programs rhetoric.
There's another local group called new road
I will look at transgender trend. Never heard of that til now.
Ffs
I'm too old tired for this shit

OP posts:
Beerincomechampagnetastes · 30/06/2020 07:44

Please try not to panic op. It’s good that she’s talking to you. Have you read literature from transgender trend? First thing is to educate yourself and try to understand how difficult it is being a lesbian for young people right now. It is not unusual for young women to seek out a label that provides them with more protections.
We are here for you and your dd Flowers

BessyK · 30/06/2020 07:38

If you're concerned about your child's sudden trans identification you could find support and advice from Transgender Trend, Our Duty Group, Bayswater Support or Parents of ROGD kids.

Finfintytint · 30/06/2020 07:37

Sounds like she is having difficulty accepting her sexuality and has been conditioned to think that in order to fancy girls she must be a boy. Knock it on the head and don’t let her entertain the fact she is not a young woman.