The effect of lockdown on transitioning teen girls

A young, female Olympian came to give a talk on healthy eating and DsD internalised it so hard she became afraid of eating anything other than fruit or veg.
Her parents had to speak to the school and it took a lot of work to get her through it (this was before her dad and I met).

Kids can be SO suggestible, it‘a downright scandalous that teachers, who intrinsically know this, seem to throw all common sense out of the window when certain diversity buzz words are mentioned.

Like, can we get back to basics on child development, please? Age appropriate doesn’t just mean avoiding adult themes, it means appropriate for developmental stage too.

I completely understand the boy identity as a protective talisman, it’s the current-day equivalent of telling creepy men you have a boyfriend to make them back off, or wearing a ring on your wedding finger.

Instead of inventing an imaginary boyfriend, a generation of adolescent girls are trying become the imaginary boyfriend.

It’s almost poetic really, if only it didn’t come with side orders of misery and unnecessary medical intervention.

Peer pressure and trying out new sparkly things at school is something I clocked when I was in primary 5 and we had a dentist visit our class for a talk. He suggested eating carrots at playtime.

Next day all the other girls turned up with carrots for their play piece. I had a bar of toffee (as usual).

DuDuDu I’m so pleased to read that!

My DD has been much more relaxed and happy during lockdown but I don’t see her desisting once back at school. I think she feels she needs the “protection” she feels “being seen as a boy” gives her from her peers.

She’s been giving hints at home about wanting to back out of this, but I don’t think she sees a path to do so which would also not leave her feeling vulnerable at school. She does, however, now describe the Year Head who formally transitioned her behind our back as “really creepy” so we hope that means she will distance herself from him when they do return to school in August.

More needs to be done about peer pressure in schools. It is overwhelming in the age of internet and social media.

I know teachers and staff in schools are very aware and do all they can to mitigate but when I see so much money spent on delivery of the so-called anti-bullying lgbtq++ message (or RSE - it is truly one-size fits all curriculums) which boils down to slick presentation of cheap indentikit under-researched stuff with unicorns and jelly babies, I despair. They need properly researched resources to help them.

That’s really interesting, Coke sending best wishes to you and your DD.

One thing I have observed amongst detransitioners/reidentified women is that they see each other and think they have finally found their ‘tribe’ - a kind of ‘where have you BEEN all my life’ feeling. It’s a beautiful phenomenon to observe (from the viewpoint of a woman twice their age).

Perhaps the younger desisters (those who never made it as far as medical intervention) will feel similarly about each other too? I hope so.

My teenage dd, who has Aspergers and has certainly been presenting as non binary for the last 2 years, has been really happy whilst off school. She's taken up exercising, lost a bit of weight, stopped wearing so many baggy clothes, and yesterday happily purchased clothes from the female section. Her short hair has obviously grown a lot recently but she doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get it cut again. So I am very interested to see this is a bit of a "thing".

This is really interesting OP. I have wondered this myself - away from peer pressure and spending more time with parents will these girls simply drop the idea? I'm sure this must be a wider phenomenon.

One of the top girls grammar schools in the country banned teachers from referring to pupils as ‘girls’ a couple of years back (despite it being in the school name) so yes, this is deffo an issue in at least some single sex schools!

Re single sex schools and bullying - my DD went to a girls’ grammar school for sixth form (from a mixed sex high school) and was appalled at the organised bullying of younger by older girls. This was all based around anorexia, which was a big thing (late 1990s).
I don’t know if such schools are affected by trans ideology, but having attended similar in the 60s, I wouldn’t be surprised.

There was meant to be a review on the 4000 percent increase in girls transitioning which never happened.

I think lobby groups worried about this tbh hence the learning packs and digifests and stuff that were brought out. And trying to make.kids feel they werent safe at home with their parents.

Schools need to wake up. Teens have been going through mostly harmless phases for decades, goths/hippies/ going orange with bargain bin foundation... never was this attention given to them the way it is now.

My stepdaughter is marvellous, btw. Still distressed by puberty and the state of the world (who wouldn’t be?) but she’s chirpier now than she‘s been since this time last year.

We recently facilitated a very school-unfriendly home hair cut and colour that is feminine in a counter-culture way and she seems to have finally given up the god-awful woolly hat she’s been hiding inside for a year.

Schools (and counsellors/therapists) need to understand that affirmation doesn’t actually bring much happiness (and that teaching kids about sexual orientation before they are far enough into puberty to feel actual, genuine, sexual attraction is more bewildering than helpful).

@dududulangalangadingdong - seeing your MP sounds like a great idea although a word of caution, it has been mentioned on other groups that Kate Green is fully TWAW so I'm sure you'll go fully prepared. This sounds like something that should also be brought to the attention of Baroness Nicholson and Gavin Williamson, the Education Sec and Liz Truss, the Equalities Minister.

Thanks for sharing that article DuLang
My DD is in this age group too and I am pleased that we have been talking about issues around sex, gender and identify for years already.
DD has friends who call themselves NB her best friend is almost certainly gay but not out. She's on the fringes of a lovely group of friends who are creative, fun, and also gay and gender questioning. You can see how easy it is within this group for NB especially to be embraced.
My personal observations on lockdown for my DD, she's been very happy to escape from the school environment and her sense of self and confidence is great, she's much happier and less stressed.

Also, the new shadow education secretary, Kate Green, is my MP, so I will be making an appointment to speak to her as a consitituent ASAP.

She already knows my family a bit, and is quite GNC herself, so I am hoping I can get her to understand the awful mess we putting upon children at present.

@dududulangalangabingbong - I have just read your story and that is heartbreaking - at a time when you and your family have had so much to deal with the school is compounding it enormously. I'm sure they mean well but it is shocking that an educating establishment is swallowing such dangerous ideology without questioning it. As I said below, our local secondary is doing the same thing to a child without the parents consent and when I asked about it (my friend works at the school and is heavily involved in the situation), the stance was very defensive and we ended up having a horrendous conversation where they demonstrated that they have fully taken this ideology on board regarding all aspects of life. Now I daren't question what the school will be teaching for PSHE for my children as they will know exactly why I'm asking. I'm praying that the government gets this sorted before any more children and families get devastated.

We haven’t ruled out legal action (or changing schools, but they are all in the thrall of Mermaids at present).
We’ll see how things go when schools go back.

Baroness Nicholson has published a letter regarding the legal position of schools keeping secrets from parents over trans issues, so I suspect waving that about a bit will help enormously.

I've been wondering this about older trans women too.

It's that old question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it - does it make a sound? "

If a person has a gender difference and there is no one to observe their clothes, mannerisms, hair and interests - are they less upset?

Thank you for your story DuDuDu. Heartbreaking! I hope your step daughter is ok. It is frightening that school is determined to ignore parental instruction - it leads to a safeguarding nightmare. How can she ever be safe there? They're driving a wedge between a child and her extended support network - how can that ever be ethical? The school have a obviously been supplied with fraudulent materials to be staying it's the law to affirm.

From dududu's story on the SSA webpage:

"The prevailing medical opinion on transgender children is that ‘persistence, insistence, and consistence’ are required for a diagnosis, yet my stepdaughter’s school want to change her official records, even without parental permission, based on no evidence of persistence, insistence NOR consistence, and no medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria."

That right there is first-hand evidence of the dangers of letting lobbying, biased organisations in to provide training for staff.

good grief - 9 (or even 6) out of 160 is an enormous number!! I can't add anything helpful from a professional point of view but having been a teenage girl I am very aware of how teenagers, especially girls can be influenced. I mentioned on another thread how when I was at school, we were visited by a Christian Rock band and they did a gig in the school hall. So many girls (who had previously been totally uninterested in that sort of thing) had, by the end of the day, become fully signed up Christians - happy clappy, joining a local bible college etc (I was slightly bemused, having been brought up with regular CofE church attendance and Sunday School and couldn't see the attraction in quite the same way :¬)) . The strength of their conviction on this was impressive and they kept it up for some months, until the influential girls got bored and then it all dropped away quite quickly with, crucially, no life changes being made. The thing with the trans'ing process is that it is obviously ongoing and with the unquestioning affirmation stance taken by many schools (our local secondary is currently in the process of helping a girl transition without the involvement of her parents), the further down the road you go, the harder it is to turn back, especially in the face of strong encouragement. I know of a teenager raising money to have a double mastectomy and masculinisation hormone treatment because she (born female) identifies as 'gender queer' (I can't quite get my head around that). The fundraiser is doing quite well and all the comments (a lot from her peer group) are very encouraging and affirmative (which I guess they will be if they are contributing) but I find it heartbreaking that she is so young and is being encouraged in her decision to make such a drastic and irreversible change. As discussed in some detail on another thread (If a person identifies as an amputee...), gender dysmorphia is described as when your brain feels that your body is the wrong sex but if an anorexic person's brain feels that their body is too fat, we don't affirm and encourage them to lose weight. If someone has BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), they are treated with therapy. If someone identifies as an amputee (it does happen, healthy body but brain says that they should have one leg, not two), it isn't right to affirm and operate. I have great concerns that the approach promoted by the lobby groups is to affirm and set these impressionable kids off on a path that might well not be right for them. The human brain does not stop developing until the mid to late twenties - teenagers have not fully developed their prefrontal cortex, affecting planning and impulses and they are far more likely to engage in risky behaviours without considering the consequences. Causing them to question their 'gender identity' when no adult seems to even be able to define what a 'female' or 'male' gender identity is and suggesting that if they don't conform to a narrow definition of what is 'normal' just adds fuel to the fire. The ideology being promoted that 'gender identity is innate' and determined when very young is also disproved by the existence of ROGD (Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria). I'm glad I'm not a teenager now.

Really interesting thread. Just yesterday Colin Wright was tweeting about how TRAs had tried to cancel him when he spoke about social contagion and linked to this article nypost.com/2020/06/27/how-peer-contagion-plays-into-the-rise-of-teens-transitioning/

She is also year 9, btw.

My stepdaughter has (tentatively) desisted since lockdown.

Our story went up on the Safe Schools Alliance website yesterday:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/about/our-stories/our-stories-mother-and-artist-43-trafford/

It's funny how they never tell these kids their dating pool will be drastically reduced.

Telling heterosexuals they are now gay and vice versa is absurd.