The effect of lockdown on transitioning teen girls

Except fortunately changing your hair colour isnt the difference between being sent home with pain killers and having an ectopic pregnancy removed before it ruptures and you bleed out.

It's like saying your eye or hair colour isn't what it is - say if you were stuck somewhere without hair dye or coloured contacts and nature just runs its course? It is what it is. You can dye your hair or use coloured contacts - but that wouldn't really make me blonde and brown-eyed?

After lockdown, there's going to be a lot more 'natural greys' around!

Anytime I see a 'non binary' female, they always seem to default to masculine presentation.
Many also have their breasts removed.
Why? If they don't feel male or female do they try to remove the feminine?

Yes serenity

Even without surgery or medical intervention non binary is still subscribing to fiction not fact.

In order for parents to keep their kids safe they need to know who and what they are and what bodies are and who has what body and what that means etc.

Facts are facts. Things have gone to far when parents and other adults will collude in a lie about someones body to preserve feelings.

At some point they are going to find out the truth so are you going to he the ones to tell them love them and support them or are you going to wait until something terrible happens and they have to deal with the trauma if what happened on top of their own delusions about their bodies on top of tthe fact that adults they trusted have lied to them for years.

That's not harmless. In that one split they loose everything and everyone they trusted . Where do you think that leaves them?

Non binary doesn’t make sense. In a (unlikely and hypothetical) medical situation would they just refuse to answer ‘male or female’? How do you decide which loo or changing room? If you have a female body a do you cover your top half at the swimming pool (if so, why)? It sounds like an awful lot of thinking abut yourself in every situation (sounds exhausting).

Reminds me of a trans man who forgot to mention the fact that they were pregnant in hospital and the baby was lost because the hospital took on face value their statement that they were male. For the love of the wee man - just why?

Anyway no one much cares about youngsters identifying as non binary, I know you'll be disappointed at that but it's true, they only really care when they start taking drugs with unknown side effects and taking steps to permanently alter and make infertile, healthy young bodies.

This is right. If a teen wants to be non-binary and they're not interested in drugs or surgeries it seems helpful to leave them to it. They can make a decision later on whether it's permanent.

I do wonder now whether all girls is a better environment. My DD (15) wanted to go to an all-girls comp which I was fine with as its a great school but I wasn't specifically looking for single sex. But recently they had their first meet up and they ended up playing piggy-in-the-middle and football and stuff like that. One of her friends is very GNC in appearance (I don't know how she identifies) but DD just says she finds non-binary " a bit of a strange idea". I wonder if being removed from the pressure in the school day really helps them.

whats

You said what I've been deleted previously fir saying so thank you. That part is so obvious and adults can follow thr money and the benefits for others in nearly every other situation like buying a car or life insurance or mortgages etc.

Yet they dont see this.

Why?

That part I wonder if ( god knows I'm certainly sick of having to say it in order to be listened to without anyone taking offence ) the very fact we have to start every sentence with "it's not all men but...." and men wont acknowledge they are the class involved with whatever because they get defensive then go off on one about women doing it too etc "

So ultimately you have both men and women who in the bid to not acknowledge the reality either because they want to prove it's not all men or going down the victim blaming route becuase the worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad etc , completely deny what's in front of them because the truth is offensive.

We cant change that sadly but we can try and teach our kids some tools to deal with less pleasant aspects of life and maybe just maybe try and teach them to question and debate instead again and that hurt feelings are not an argument etc

Why do they have to be pushed down the trans route?

Because the mostly white, heterosexual, adult males pushing this agenda would've got nowhere, but by transing kids they get to tug at heartstrings. But what about the children...........

Same reason why Stonewall wont put money into mental health or allow research into ROGD in young girls. Because transing young lesbians validates the AGP's and makes stonewall £££££

I don’t understand why schools are in such a rush to blindly affirm and validate girls that they can be boys - what is wrong with watchful waiting and allowing children to express themselves as they want? Why do they have to be pushed down the trans route?

Watchful waiting allows for puberty to happen. Most children grow out of it after puberty when left alone.

If put on.blockers they never get to fo through puberty and it cements their identity.

I do wonder if the fact puberty seems to be starting earlier in many cases these days , a few theories surrounding that such as increased rates of childhood obesity etc, plays a part.

Primary schools arent always set up brilliantly for girls in particular, some may have a separate yr 5/6 block complete with bins and free sanpro, others may well just have the one toilet that has the bin and the child is almost singled out.

That and honestly tbh we need to stop thinking that we can make everything ok for kids all the time and sheltering them from the world. Puberty sucks big time but it's normal. When did we crossover from teaching our kids how to deal with situations and telling them it's ok to be sad about things sometimes, to trying to keep them happy all the time.

Like say with food. Parents who feed their kids snacks all the time because they dont want then to feel hungry -V- the ones who see no harm in being hungry for an hour it just means they will eat their dinner.

Do we do the same thing with life in general ?

Really encouraging to read about how some young girls are weaning themselves off toxic gender ideology during lockdown and learning to be happier and more comfortable with themselves. I hope they continue to improve and more anecdotes like this keep coming up.

Loki, most of us on here questioned issues around gender and identity at school!

This is due to harmful, regressive stereotypes and, for me, the behaviour and expectations of males.

When I developed big breasts and the boys twanged my bra and bullied me, I questioned why this was happening. I changed my behaviour and looks for fear of male attention.

When girls were encouraged to take 'typing' GCSE or 'Home Economics' I questioned why. When I asked the careers advisor about a career in journalism I was asked if I might consider a career as a secretary instead. My male friend was encouraged to apply for work experience at a newspaper.

There were many other incidents (including an older boy forcing himself on me) and the treatment of a female friend during a teenage pregnancy that made me question issues around gender stereotyping and identity and why females were treated differently.

I have teenage boys and they have thankfully not experienced the sexism and predatory behaviour from the opposite sex that I suffered as a teen, that so many other girls still suffer too.

Stonewall won’t spend money on anything like that. They could provide trans facilities/DV units etc with all the millions they make - but they choose not to.

Different slant and still anecdata, but we ended up home schooling DS for much of year 8 due to bullying that his school were laissez-faire about.

He was struggling with school and homework at the time so in his world was in trouble with Teachers and reluctant to tell them about the bullying, meanwhile he was coming home and being horrible to his younger sister so getting told off by DH and I. It was a cycle of bullying/poor behaviour/telling off/low self-esteem.

Home schooling almost solved the problems overnight. He was removed from the bullys and able to reset his relationship with us, meaning his mental health and self esteem improved, along with his behaviour.

The examples in this thread remind me of that time and how glad I am that we were able to reverse a deteriorating situation.

I hope your situations continue to improve

Apparently women’s menstrual cycles with complicated and varying amounts of hormones throughout the month make us more difficult to study needing larger sample sizes and longer trial periods and expense.

Well it's not as if around half the patients who will eventually take these drugs have hormones that fluctuate through the month, is it! /sarcasm

Congratulations to everyone whose DDs are doing better in lockdown. My own experience of adolescence tells me that schools can be horrible places for children who don't fit and from what I've heard since it's only gotten worse. Surely there must be a better way of educating children than locking them up with their peers seven hours a day and isolating them from the rest of society?

More anecdata - my 16yo was brain damaged at birth. She is FAR more susceptible to this coercive ideology than either of the other two. She already feels different and marginalized because she talks and walks oddly and has trouble controlling her muscles. Y9 is exactly when girls realise what is ‘expected’ in terms of looks, behaviour, and sexuality. If you already feel ‘different’ for any reason, you are wide open to suggestion. Don’t fit the stereotype? Perhaps you are a boy. Already marginalized and ignored with no friendship group? This is a great way to get positive reinforcement and attention.
It is of course also the age that lots of other mental health issues kick in - OCD and anxiety disorders typically appear at this point if you are susceptible.
It enrages me that as a society we are failing our most vulnerable girls.

I won't state my assigned gender at birth

You mean your sex. Which was observed at birth and unchangeable.
How can gender be assigned at birth when you are a fresh slate without a developed personality? Or if it's an 'innate sense of self' how can it have been picked for you?

Kids are pushed into it. Being taught the bullshit in schools that EVERYONE has a 'gender identity' and they must pick one. Non conforming or gay kids told they must be trans because they don't adhere to sex role stereotypes.

It's an ideology. A belief system where these kids aren't being allowed to opt out or disagree.

While I won't state my assigned gender at birth, I was in school when I started to question my gender identity, yes. Stop treating us as though we're poor people being peer pressured into being transgender and removing any kind of agency from our decisions.

Many are, especially when it happens at a young age. Autistic girls identifying as Male has risen by 4000% over the last three years, if you don't think that needs to be questioned then I don't what to say to you. Anyway no one much cares about youngsters identifying as non binary, I know you'll be disappointed at that but it's true, they only really care when they start taking drugs with unknown side effects and taking steps to permanently alter and make infertile, healthy young bodies.

Why do I need to hit 'post' twice when I want to but once works when I don't?
He had birth injuries and really struggled in mainstream. I am part way through an autism diagnosis so both of us were being failed in retrospect.

How does this ‘assigned’ thing work exactly? Because medicine isn’t a science or anything is it...?

Hope that happened to me in primary. I spent a large part of my last year in primary teaching the boy who had learning difficulties how to do simple multiplication. He had bee