Burgeoning plague of incels - apparently

Urgh why does every new generation invent its own particular brand of misogyny and sexism?

90s lad culture
Now this!

Really interesting, hypernormal. I agree.

OK, that's just adorable.

Terrible article. And what’s she going to do when she finds out about different sexualities? At least she can blame SOME men for that.

I adorable the Viking Kittehs!

After WW1 there were many young women unable to marry because much of their generation of men died. They got jobs, wrote books, did all sorts of socially useful and possibly personally fulfilling things. I don’t recall any celibacy-driven massacres by unmarried women.

And this one is for ProdigalKittens.

He wasn't someone I would be interested in but he was nice enough and we had been friends for years. He then turned really nasty really fast making me feel bad for leading him on and telling me that I owed him as he did so much for me.

The term for those so called nice guys is "favor shark". I am so sorry you were targeted by one at such a vulnerable time.

@crosseyedMary things are much better thank you. I've been happily single for 3 years now. Looking back I still feel like how the hell did that happen.

Hope this isn't going too off-topic, but I think in addition to the typical incels, there is a problem with sexism in millenials and zoomers. This is an old article, but it's relevant, about 'Hipster Sexism': www.thecut.com/2012/10/age-of-hipster-sexism.html
Like Hipster Racism, Hipster Sexism is a distancing gesture, a belief that simply by applying quotations, uncool, questionable, and even offensive material about women can be alchemically transformed.

The men I encountered, who I mentioned upthread, were nothing short of abusive, but at the same time treated it almost as an ironic 'joke' - a typical abuser's strategy. I think a generation of women that's grown up saturated with new media are afraid to challenge the prevalent narratives lest they seem out of touch. Young (heterosexual) women, no matter how much they believe in the rights of women, also have libidos and want sex with men and so are pushed to tolerate abusive behaviour and treat it as though it's just a joke as the price they have to pay for a sex life. I think incel rhetoric and porn has seeped into the mainstream through 'ironic' treatment of sexism, it's all linked together, as is the blurring of what is male and female by trans activists. I think young women are suppressing their own instincts to challenge shitty behaviour and sexism from men, because it's become the norm that men demand violent and degrading sex acts from them and that's just the way guys are, sex is meaningless anyway etc. I think it's a defence mechanism, in the same way sexual abuse victims often go into sex work, because they feel like they can then have some sort of control over their emotional response to what's happened to them by reframing sex as a meaningless act, a way of shrugging it off and pretending sexual abuse is really nothing. I feel depressed for this younger generation of women, the ones I speak to seem very jaded at such a young age when it comes to their sex/love lives.

Why won't the good decent men step up and provide better role models for their antisocial brothers?
Where is the solidarity and camaraderie, why don't men want other men to be good upstanding citizens?

Ok shall we just not give incels boats? That should stop them becoming vikings! Maybe I have missed the point.

AfishcalledBob💐
he deliberately and calculatingly exploited you, I'm so glad you escaped I hope you've been able to rebuild yourself

So sorry @Afishcallledbob. It sounds like me like he'll be signing up to buy a sex robot in future.

Whenever I read something like this I think 'Sure.....you first then'!

Those women, including the writer, are absolutely welcome to try and solve the problem by marrying those sinister, frustrated guys themselves.
,

@Ereshkigalangcleg Thank you I've never told anyone that before. My family still think he was a nice guy.

Afishcallledbob

Forgot to add the scariest thing about him was how he didn't see me as a person. If I told him I was unhappy he just ignored it and told me I liked doing all the housework, paying all the bills and being his sex slave. I can honestly say if someone asked him what made me happy or what I liked he wouldn't have a clue. He had an image of me that was nothing like reality. It was just what he believed women were.

I'm embarrassed to say I lived and had children with such a man. To this day I'm still not sure why I put up with him for so long (10yrs).

He was a friend of mine and when my ex left me with a 2month old baby this guy helped me with loads of stuff. He wasn't someone I would be interested in but he was nice enough and we had been friends for years. He then turned really nasty really fast making me feel bad for leading him on and telling me that I owed him as he did so much for me. It sounds so pathetic but I was in a really bad place at the time that I ended up caving in. He was a virgin and it became clear he watched loads of porn. He told me he deserved better than me and laughed at me when he first saw me naked, even when he ballooned to 26 stone and stopped washing all together he was convinced model like women should want him (I'm not a model in anyway).

He also would never take no for an answer and believed that I just said no to play hard to get. All of these things came out more after we had kids. He demanded or forced me to have sex with him every night and if I did managed to convince him I really meant no he would cum on me as it was his right.

Like I say I am embarrassed to say I ever got into that situation but at the time I was 20 with no confidence, a newborn and had just left my first boyfriend who I believed at the time was the love of my life. It's no excuse but it is what it is. When I finally left him his mum had a go at me for leaving her boy and he now lives with her writing angry stuff on Twitter about women not wanting him. He still thinks he has a right to me so isn't aloud near us. He has also put me off relationships and sex for life.

From living with him it's made me realise we are living in a world where some men are fed the belief that they can have whatever they want with no effort on their part and when they don't get it they get angry. These men don't want to be in any relationship with a human who has thoughts and feelings they want to be in one with a young model type who will do anything they want and if they don't get it they get angry at the world. I'm making a point of teaching my sons that the world doesn't ow them anything at to see woman as people with thoughts and feelings and my daughter that she must never feel bad for any man she turns down.

Sorry that went on a bit but just thought I would share.

I completely agree with what B1rdbra1n said, responding to a post re 'Anyone who wants consensual respectful sex' -
"indeed but that wouldn't work for the incells they want sex which makes them feel superior, dominant and entitled to take what they want without any thing being asked in return
This is not sex for mutual pleasure this is sex as a means to exploit and degrade ".

They don't.

They want to be allocated 14 yo who are virgins who they 'own'

Maybe not all but I have seen that a fair bit.

If you want a wife who loves you and enjoys being with you (which is essential for a genuinely fulfilling sexual relationship) then she can't be afraid of you. Which means she has to believe that you are in control of your temper and your sexual urges
Brilliant post. Some men need to tell our boys this

they shouldn't resent the women, but it would be natural to feel like women were looking at all the exterior trappings of success rather than valuing partners as a person

In countries where there is no social welfare, it is quite logical for a woman who wants to start a family to seek a partner who is more capable of providing for her and their children.

But all these incels remind me of the men who have always been around, catcalling women in the street.

Bear in mind too that males currently live in a world where people like McKinnon say such stuff and is celebrated for it. It goes unchallenged on radio, it's very fashionable, it's not only justifiable to be this vile and dehumanising to females, it's downright brave and virtuous. Anyone pointing out the massive, massive issues with it is drenched in waves of rage and self righteous twits.

It confirms, it's ok to think like this. It's ok to have these attitudes to women. Follow the stunning and brave role models.

It’s not clear what this ‘feminist’ project is supposed to be, if it’s not mothering or marrying these men

We already have those like Rachel McKinnon, exerting homosexual females to 'learn to cope' with giving sex to biological males for social duty. Which makes it clear, McKinnon does not see female people as participating in sex for their own enjoyment or pleasure, or having the equal right to consent and taking from the relationship as the male born person. Providing sex - even sex they merely 'learn to cope with' as unpleasant and unfulfilling to them, is a duty. And refusing consent is an act of unacceptable disobedience.

Same thing.

These males see females as kind of animated service droids, they are not capable of thinking of anyone or anything beyond their own needs and the rage at anything failing to meet them. Giant toddler.