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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury's guide to community disruptors part 5

983 replies

ItsLateHumpty · 20/06/2020 15:04

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember our monitors would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3691023-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-4

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

Go well Witches Gin

OP posts:
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FannyCann · 18/07/2020 01:47

Please explain. Please discuss. Why is it always on a Friday night? I'd like to know what it is about Fridays.

Anyway it's late. If recipes are being shared in the morning I promise to post my lemon meringue pie recipe. It's a winner.

bishopgiggles · 14/07/2020 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

dolorsit · 14/07/2020 16:16

It's the constant 'wait for someone else to post something TRAish & bob along in their wake going "yeah what THEY said"'tactic.

It's actually something I've noticed amongst TRAs on FB and twitter - the inability to voice an argument. They mostly talk about how distressing something is but need to to wait for someone else to post a rebuttal. At which point they link with a "this". It was quite noticeable after the JK blog.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/07/2020 14:51

But yes, bang on.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/07/2020 14:51

I could name 5.

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 14/07/2020 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 14/07/2020 14:38

feign to be hard of thinking

^^It allows a rapid pivot into JAQing.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/07/2020 14:35

I think people can feign to be hard of thinking, because it benefits their aims.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 14/07/2020 14:34

Don't underestimate the power and prevalence of the hard-of-thinking

Fernlake · 14/07/2020 14:17

It's been several years.

For some posters, there seems to be a masochism involved. The aim appears to be to irritate everyone.

Not how I'd like to spend my time.

bishopgiggles · 14/07/2020 13:30

I'm never sure if the poster that only posts about how the FWR regulars post is doing it on purpose or genuinely unable to analyse any concept in detail other than how it affects them or seems rude to them, because they can't follow the logical progression of so many changes to laws or definitions and gets defensive. They've been doing it for at least the best part of a year, and i wish beyond my wildest dreams that people were wise to it and ignored it.

R0wantrees · 14/07/2020 12:00

I have just posted extracts to this important article on a coercive control resource thread.
Its relevence goes beyond intimate and real life relationships.

'20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You'
By Shahida Arabi
They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions.

Here are the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you. (continues)

concludes:
The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what you’re facing and at the very least, develop a plan to regain control over your own life and away from toxic people."

thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/

Winesalot · 14/07/2020 11:54

Totally unsurprising behaviour. It is like in the playground and the bully has the offsider who has nothing ever to add except to support the bully and take potshots at the regulars for being nasty to the bully, winding the regulars up & monitoring the tone of everyone else.

And it has to be deliberate.

Because even though I could not imagine keeping up the pretence for as long as that poster has, I cannot believe that anyone with a skerrick of intelligence would have read these threads and not realised the truth being spoken that at the very minimum the meanings of words have legal impact.

TinselAngel · 14/07/2020 11:17

I am unsurprised.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/07/2020 11:06

I'm pleased that poster demonstrated their nature, as expected.

SallyArmley · 14/07/2020 11:04

Just a lurker view.
MBD. Years on assorted fora. Name says it all. Engage with previous FWR contribution as advised here.

The other poster L. appears to have a real issue with the widows. I wonder why? (Rhetorical question)

Tbh. I found the whole thing a bit of a weird set up. Including the diversionary allegation that: only subscribers can use the quote button. Derail, derail, derail. I wish people would not bite, but then I'm guilty too of that. Which is why I'm on a strike for upsetting the woodcraft folk.

The few, really did not like the fact that: FWR members are genuinely concerned about this young person. In my view, it does not serve their purpose to see an honest. well tempered, discussion between a person who is trans and FWR. No useful screen shot fodder there.

So, we lurkers saw desperate attempts to derail the thread. Even down to trying to sneer away FWR individuals wishing that young adult well for the future. Again, not serving their purpose at all screen shot wise.

I felt that A. fell for the "on your side against FWR" guff. Sad to watch it happening.

wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 14/07/2020 10:46

Has a previous poster returned to us with an extra letter in their name? Last seen whatabouting about male rape.

FloralBunting · 13/07/2020 16:08

bishop, yes, that poster under another nickname was actually the most recent example of the 'You must engage with me as I wind you up' nonsense. So much liberation in ignoring that shite.

bishopgiggles · 13/07/2020 15:43

I haven't looked at the thread with the trans man graciously engaging since last night.. is the poster that only posts about how the FWR regulars post still posting about that?

It does my head in that people engage with them when they can only post clearly about their views of fwr, and most other opinions are muddled and not teased out before complaining about others' posts again.

highame · 13/07/2020 15:40

😊

FloralBunting · 13/07/2020 15:37

If you do it often, btw, you may end up with the humourous and useful situation of a poster repeatedly demanding that you are obligated to talk to them even though they are just wanting to insult you to get a rise, which has happened before, and is like a real time demonstration of 'How to look like a controlling arse'. These things are SO useful for women to see happening when other women have a firm and clear boundary. For so many women, it just never occurs to them that they aren't obligated out of politeness to keep playing these games. Part of why I still post here is I know the worth of this kind of consciousness raising.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 13/07/2020 15:32

Yes your daughter is inspiring.

FloralBunting · 13/07/2020 15:30

Definitely. There is so much power in making your case, and leaving it there with your opponent impotently ranting. (I actually teach this to my kids when they're having a disagreement with someone, which is why my 15 year old daughter does imperious put downs and walks away like a boss in debate.)

Thelnebriati · 13/07/2020 14:32

If a poster can't bear to let someone else have the last word, let them have the last word. You can see it, so can everyone else reading the thread.

highame · 13/07/2020 13:56

8@Floral Bunting* - wonderful tip will have a crack at that

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