Be an ally to lesbians: stop using LGBTQ+

Okay so we've agreed not to be so forthright with distressed teens. Is there any reason to be so partisan about how all lesbians must behave?

Transgenderism, and its attack on sex, is inherently homophobic. The two cannot and could never exist comfortably together.

This is the OP positioning her opinion as the truth and leaves no room for individuals to make their own choices.

I'm happy being part of LGBTQ thanks. If you want to do your own thing and be part of a LGB alliance then nobody is stopping you. Don't drag me along with you though.

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

Done that, still accused of hatred by people with an axe to grind. I've been called a bad aunt on here by people who don't know either me or my niece.

Here here. Spoke to a ln older gay college about how I don't really get the whole LGBTQ movement. She was glad she met a young person who thought that. She had genuine hardship when her and her partner couldn't find a mortgage and it wasn't safe to walk down the road

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

This assumes that the forthright tone Adult feminists use when talking amongst themselves is the same tone we use when talking to our gender distressed adolescents.

Why would you make that assumption? It’s ludicrous.

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

And yet that is exactly what JKRowling said and look what a response she got, straight to the choke on my lady dick, hate crime, canceled, burn her books.

Honestly, suggestionsplease, it's probably not the best idea to be having those sorts of conversations with minors, if you're just some random adult who happens to be part of the LGBTQ+ etc etc community.

Safeguarding. Again.

Another completely disingenuous post 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well the only way to get around perceptions of hatred is by opening conversations and trying to set tones that are not too devisive. It's the polarisation of ideologies, it's the 'us and them' language that fuels perceptions of hatred.

It's the way things are expressed that influences this too:

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

... I don't think that young person is going to accuse me of hatred. Because I'm going to navigate that conversation carefully and respectfully.

If on the other hand, I made it clear I was already very dismissive of their thoughts, immediately shouted down what they had to say, told them that they were mutilating their bodies, undermining women everywhere by their choice, and that I would never use their chosen name or pronouns to refer to them...

..yeah...I might get accused of hatred.

Now with the first option I might help a young person to consider alternatives to surgery (or that might not be the outcome, and I would respect that too). But with the 2nd option I have absolutely no chance with them at all - I have set myself against them, they are not going to be open to what I have to say.

And if I give them the impression (rightly or wrongly) that they are not welcome under my umbrella anyway, well those conversations just don't happen altogether.

I hate (ironically) the way the word hate is used for every instance of disagreement these days.

This is my opinion, disagreeing with me is hate. Not a difference of opinion, just hate.
Try and turn it back on them, though, by asking why they can freely disagree with your perfectly valid opinion and prepare to be skewered.

It is the LGBTQ community framing everything and everyone as hate, including your own parents if they have a different view to the affirmation only industry.

This is some disengenuous bullshit to reframe this as hate from lesbians who can see a man when he's standing right there.

Yeah, I'm seeing a fair bit of 'hostility and slogans' that could definitely be off putting if you were a 16yo lesbian.

Not from lesbians, though.

Many people in our communities have very complex, intersectional, shifting understandings of their identities that they find hard to articulate and express.

Not every 16 year old who is confused about who they are - if they're just attracted to women, or feel more strongly they have a male identity, is sitting in their bedroom out there thinking, 'ok they hate the trans people that have been born as boys, but they're ok with me as I have a female body at the moment...but they might hate me if I talk about that too much, so I'll just be careful what I say and I'll probably be welcome'.

They're just seeing the general hostility and slogans and worried that they will be the next ones on the receiving end. So they don't come to the spaces where they might get to have those conversations that might help them consider more fully their determination to have surgery. They are the ones that losing out from these divisive tactics.

Yeah true the Candy Bar was a good laugh but it was always open to men too and straight people.

Since the Equality Act it's not been legal to make bars gay only or female only.

It is legal to make events designed to attract lesbians over trans and queer though, which is what Mint events is doing.

I think they will Thisismytime.

Lesbian and Bi women are always going to exist.

Women (of all sexualities) are always going to need spaces away from men.

The internet has given so many people the false sense that everyone is, or must be the same.

We are not.

May those heady days come again!

You are either a man or a woman.

I don't think this is controversial!

All the good lesbian and women only meet-ups are being pushed underground again.

Not acceptable really, but gives a cool edge that can't be found in commercial forced environments.

I was in a long marriage (to a man) then moved overseas, so I'm well out of the loop.

That sounds a bit shit, quite honestly. Hope it swings back a bit before dd1 is off to Uni, which will be probably in the UK.

nobody is considering the needs and safety of trans or non binary people.

Whose job do you think that is?

Love to know the answer to that.

The Glass Bar’s building was marvellous (I remember admiring it at the time but not actually going because - straight 😂)

How would I know if a "Q" person was looking at me at all, never mind "warily"?

People talk some shite here.

Oh, I miss the Glass Bar....