Be an ally to lesbians: stop using LGBTQ+

To suggest that every woman who kissed a girl once but aren’t actually lesbians, should be included in a group for lesbians, gay men and bi people sounds awfully homophobic.

So not just me thinking that then.

Melia It's really not acceptable.

Jacki

Eh LillianBland? Why would it be homophobic?

How does one police same sex attraction anyway? Surely any straight woman could say they were a lesbian and infiltrate the group. Before we know it safe, lesbian only spaces would be full of straight women telling lesbians how they should behave and what they should think.

Katy Perry types?

Keep hold of that Hoodie Purple

there is nothing funded for young lesbians

This was my experience as the mother of a young lesbian. Nothing exists in the 'queer' space to support them as same-sex oriented females with discrete needs.

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong okay so if we're working purely on same sex attraction what about Katy Perry types who kissed a girl once and liked it? Are they in or out the LGB gang? Because there's a hell of a lot more of them than there is trans women and I'm not sure they have faced the same prejudices.

Same sex attraction.

SAME SEX ATTRACTION

I'll also refer back to my earlier question which nobody answered re the criteria for people who come under the L, G and B categories. Should they be split out as well? Gay men and lesbians are completely different sexes and bisexual women sleep with men and lesbians don't. Do they really have anything in common? How should that be decided?

The bit they all have in common is SAME SEX ATTRACTION 😂😂😂

Thanks for the link Fanta

Excellent post @suggestionsplease1

I'll also refer back to my earlier question which nobody answered re the criteria for people who come under the L, G and B categories. Should they be split out as well? Gay men and lesbians are completely different sexes and bisexual women sleep with men and lesbians don't. Do they really have anything in common? How should that be decided?

Assuming LGB stay as one group, who is allowed to be part of it? Obviously no trans women. How about trans men? Non binary females attracted to other females? What about people like me, adult human females exclusively attracted to other adult human females but also proud to be part of the LGBTQ family. Would we be allowed in?

If it's a lesbian only group then must all members be gold star lesbians? If so would a past encounter with a male count again them? What if it was just the once? What if there was no PIV involved?

As suggestionsplease1 points out, the group can be narrowed down so much that all of a sudden there's nobody left. Surely it's better to be part of a wider, supportive community?

For anyone who doesn't know what Lillian means by MAP.

It is peodophile.

(Minor Attracted Person)

They want to be added to the expanding alphabet soup +

suggestionsplease1 are you saying that you’re happy to help AGP males into your social circle?

Are you aware that MAP also want to be included under the umbrella? Do you think they should be welcomed too?

Fanta
I've just been reading the Lesbian Alliance pages. Thanks for linking.

They make the point that there does exist funded support of various kinds for trans youth groups,

However there is nothing funded for young lesbians. No dedicated school support, youth workers. Nowhere, it seems for them to find support.

I wish I could say that I was shocked to read it, but sadly I'm unsurprised.

But we're not exactly the same, no. And thank goodness for it!

At work I don't surround myself with only people just like me; I make sure we have a diverse team with differing perspectives, strengths and talents that help us all to work to shared goals. Our differences allow us achieve at a higher level as we can tap into different abilities and consider different viewpoints.

I think division and segregation into groups with 'people only exactly like me' weakens us. It's like a narrow gene pool that breeds itself into deformity and obsoletion.

There is no LGBT community.
There are LGBT advocacy organizations. Transgender advocacy organizations. There are Lesbian communities and there are Gay communities.
It is a mistake to think that an advocacy organization can represent people with competing rights. The LGBT organizations present exclusive focus on promoting transitioning Gays and Lesbians is an example of why this is a mistake.

without it also coming from its own community?

This is the bit I don’t get - what is it that an AGP man who transitions in late middle age and a lesbian have in common that justifies them being part of a single community?

Bearing in mind that it’s only been 5 or so years since the T got added (and it wasn’t universally approved of at the time).

@BarbieandKenBruce If a lesbian wants to disassociate herself from LGBT and just be LGB that's her choice.

The OP is claiming that allies must support uncoupling LGB from T. As a lesbian that is the last thing I want from allies, and the OP doesn't speak for me.

I know LGBT+ is considered as being a community, and I would like to listen to your sense of what would happen to that community should the T be separated if you are happy to share.

Yes it is a community. We all different but have one shared trait; we've all got a fundamental part of ourselves that is 'different' from the norm. None of us have chosen to be different, we can suppress it but we can't change it. We all know what it's like to face prejudice, discrimination and judgement. We've all had to navigate a world designed for straight, non trans people.

Separating the T from LGB is deliberately pitting two parts of the community against each other. It's setting up hostility where there doesn't need to be any.

lesbianalliance.org.uk/about/

Lesbian opinions on the so called community.

I'm just not supportive of an atmosphere that pits identities against each other

Lesbians aren’t ‘identifying’ as lesbian. They ARE lesbian. The only people who ‘identify’ as lesbian are male bodied people. Big difference.

in my experience many transmen have previously identified as lesbians.
That's interesting.

We have shared backgrounds and experiences - as I've already said, in my experience many transmen have previously identified as lesbians.

Yes, the different identities within the umbrella all have unique needs and difficulties and I can respect that and the fact that everyone may prioritise and work towards different issues - it doesn't mean I need to kick them out.

If they 'existed as separate entities' as you put it of course I could support them the same myself. I'm just not supportive of an atmosphere that pits identities against each other and fosters hostile relations and conflict. 'Uncoupling', to me, will promote further ideological differences; it will increase polarisation and the atmosphere of 'us vs them' - with all the ingroup / outgroup biases that brings.

I don't want that for my community. But I can see how it is happening and it saddens me.